A
male
age
51-59,
*heated
writes:probably a silly question, but how long do women prefer men to last in bed??? i suppose l am asking because in myself l dont believe l last very long at all.what got me thinking more about this is when my wife and i had separated for a period, she had slept with a couple of guys. once we got back together we were honest with everything that happened. the guys she was with one lasted just over one hour and the other for nearly 3. now that blew me away. she did say one couldnt cum and the other had to keep stopping and starting(sore knee.)lol. now for me i felt very belittled in myself cos if l last 10 minutes l am wrapped.whether it is to just make me feel better or not she kept telling me that l am the only one who has ever made her cum and believe me she cums bigtime. she also stated that it gets boring after awhile. now when we make love l try and try to make myself last that bit longer, but she see's the expression on my face and no's that l am very close to coming and starts bucking faster and faster to make me cum, thus inturn she cums with me...so wot is the long or short of your time......
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009): You might think about getting on Web MD's website to find out what you can do to last longer than 10 minutes. I do not mean to hurt your feeling but 10 minutes is way too quick for it to be satisfying to her. This may be why she shared the info about the other guys. It may have been her way of telling you that she is not satisfied in bed. This is not offensive as long as you are willing to be better in bed for her. She is afterall your wife and she should enjoy it. Most women need more than 10 min of fast sex. Sorry but 10 min is not lovemaking its a quick f----.
A
male
reader, cheated +, writes (17 August 2009):
cheated is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all so much, well i am actually feeling abit better in myself knowing how long i last is satisfying time. thank you all again as it has really helped.
i think if it wasn't for this site, i would be going crazy...........
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A
male
reader, urbanking99  +, writes (17 August 2009):
If it was me all, I am interested in is making my partner orgasm. For me it should be about what the woman can get out of it. I can cum anytime if I wanted. The pleasure I get is in pleasuring someone else.
Fucking is about getting some,
Sex is about horniness and fun,
Lovemaking is about passion, companionship, sensitivity, lust, desire and being with the most special in your life.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (17 August 2009):
 All day.
And no, I am not miracle man. But what a LOT of people forget is that sex is a lot more then just the humping. You can start it when you get up in the morning. Kiss each other awake. A hug when you pass as you get ready for the day, what it is don't matter we all got our things.
Call her during the day, not necessarily to talk dirty but to show you care. And no a routine call isn't romantic either.
Kiss her when you come back or suprise her by having the laundry done when she comes back. Don't EVER forget to do your share of the chores (nagging kills sex drive on both sides) and spend the evening doing something enjoyable but together. A couple, two lovers. Then unless you are both impotent you will have been building up passion/affection all day long and that means for the man, you will have been producing lots of semen and the women has had a lot of mental foreplay (which is just if not more effective as physical play).
Then when you both decide to let things happen (and for god sakes, let it flow, don't say "11 o'clock, time for a fuck") take your time. If you know your stamina is low then don't push it. Spend time pleasing her so that she is ready to go and doesn't need long to be ready. For that matter while coming together is nice, it is not a requirement. If you know you are done when you come, make her come first.
You need to fill in yourself what works for you and your wife, but remember that for women sexual excitement comes not just from the penis rubbing in the vagina.
In my experience, most women prefer the slow build up to a guy who grinds inside them for an hour.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): Her ethics in the bedroom are unsound. I have been with men who find it difficult to get hard or have the same problem as you. Trouble is, because of how I behave sensitively, not pushing things, all of a sudden they don't have these problems. They still go on about it, and I say, yeah right, cause it's not occuring with me. You have a poor bed partner and the other guy couldn't even come.
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A
male
reader, deafguy +, writes (17 August 2009):
have you tried tantra sex?
add romatic and erotic sex massage etc...
not hard work really - its easy and longer ...
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (17 August 2009):
 God if I was with some guy who lasted 3 hours I would have fallen asleep! Half an hour is about my maximum limit before I get bored and start hurting!
I was once with a guy who found it difficult to cum, and he took an hour and a half. Safe to say I never saw him again! Sex is great, whether it lasts 5 minutes or longer, just as long as both parties are enjoying it! So if you are enjoying sex with your wife, and she cums too - then you dont have a problem!
Try not to worry about it so much, it sounds like she was a bit promiscous in this break you had and I would be more worried about any STD's she has caught from these men! Get her tested please!
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (17 August 2009):
 I think she is pulling your leg, or your johnson. GIVE ME A DAMN BREAK DUDE!! LMAO!
believe me if she was with a guy that could go for three hours nonstop, she would never have come back to you. I don't think any woman would! Thats about as much a BS story on her part than that whole Sting farce where he claimed to be able to go 8 hours at a stretch...yeah maybe with a mountain of cocaine by the table he could...she's been reading too many romance novels or watching too much Oprah Winfrey
Id be asking myself why was she so keen to be bedhopping during the separation. Your wife is full of crap and she knows it!
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A
female
reader, \m/J.D\m/ +, writes (17 August 2009):
 well all women have different sexual preferences just as do men, i think perhaps your wife was a little bit too honest with everything she told you as it has made you feel somewhat worried about yourself sexually, the key to remember here is shes YOUR wife and YOU make her cum weather you last 10 minutes or not, myself i like sex to be mixed up a little, sometimes i like it quick sometimes i dont, i find after a hr it does get boring and thats not because i dont enjoy it, its because unfortunately women or at least me personally, after a while become a little less lubricated and this is much less enjoyable and can get painful sometimes. as long as you incorrerate lots of 4play as most ladies actually find they cum through clitoral stimulation more easily, the actual intercourse should be mind blowing even if it is 10 minutes.
hope Ive put your mind a little more at rest, good luck,
JD
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): It's the most satisfying thing ever to come at the same time as your partner! You're lasting long enough to make her come so that's all that matters. Personally, I find when a guy goes for an hour (in my experience that's only ever when he's been drinking/is nervous) I get a bit sore and dry and yes, bored. When it's great sex I completely lose track of the time anyway, and can't believe only 10 mins has passed.
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