A
female
age
41-50,
*emma12345
writes:HiI am in love with 2 guys and both have asked me to marry them. How on earth do I choose? I was dating guy 1 but we broke up and I started dating guy 2. I have only dated guy 2 for 4 months where as I dated guy 1 for 1 1/2 years. The break up with guy 1 was my decision, but I do miss him a lot - but is it just nostalgia or should I be with him? I feel I do love guy 1 more, but then I have known him longer so my feeling for guy 2 haven't fully developed yet. They are very different people so hard to know which is better for me. If I could roll them together then that would be the perfect man! Any advice would be great, thanks.Guy 1Positives:Kind and generousGood lookingV considerateGood jobGreat sexGood friend to meNegatives:Had a young daughter alreadyToo fussy on details and v emotionalBit sloppyWorried what he looks likeBoring friendsNot much going on sociallyGuy 2Positives:Very funny makes me laughExcellent conversation, v smart and knows lotsGenerousInteresting friends and lots going on sociallyOk sexV Romantic Negatives:Bit of a temper - red headed and Scottish ;-)Calls his mum a lot!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): You've gone back to guy 1 because he is better. But you can't boil your cabbage twice. There's been problems with him too.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): Look,
If you have to ask us (you dont know us) then neither is the right one,
Try being on your own for a while maybe, sounds like youjumped straight from Guy 1 to Guy 2.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (18 August 2009):
 I have been in this situation before, ironically with two guys that shared the same name! And what I came to realise is that if neither of them are your perfect man then you shouldnt marry either of them! I know both may seem great but at the end of the day you are choosing who to spend the rest of your life with then you need to know for certain that they are "the one" and there is no-one better. So while both of these guys are in the picture, it means that no matter what decision you make you will always wonder whether it was the right one. Just end it with both guys and move on, neither of these guys are right for you!Bear in mind you split up with guy 1 before - an ex is an ex for a reason, and it was you that broke up with him! So whatever reason that was, I'm sure that reason still exists and it will resurface if you got back together.as for guy 2, well 4 months is way too soon to propose to someone! That is a little concerning - why does he want to rush into marriage when he hardly knows you?It sounds like you really loved guy 1 but something was wrong in the relationship, so you broke up with him and quickly got involved with guy 2. It seems like guy 2 might just be a rebound and you are still not fully over guy 1?I think the best thing you can do is turn down both marriage proposals because neither guy is right for you. Break up with guy 2 and spend some time being single. Being alone is a pretty hard thing to do and often it is hard to see the benefits. But choosing to stay single for at least 3 months will give you so much clarity on where you want to go in life and what you want from your next relationship. I have just spent the last 6 months being single out of choice (prior to this the longest I was single was about a month, and thats in the last 6 years!). It has done wonders for me - a lot of the time I was lonely and missed having someone but eventually I learnt more about myself, I felt at ease with my own company and just became a happier person overall. I have had the time to really think about what I want in a man, and what I want my future relationships to be like. And I have just met a great guy who I am really excited about, and being alone for that time has made me see just how great he is.So if you can just leave these guys alone, be on your own for a while I think you will eventually find that you wont end up in a situation like this again because you will have figured out exactly what you want from your future husband!I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): You can't string both of them along so you should decide soon and stick with it and be happy. That way you can move on and let the other guy move on as well.
This quote might help you 'don't marry someone you can live with, marry someone who you can't live without'
who could you truly not live without, are you sure either of them is the One?
Guy 2 seems really eager to marry you as you've only been dating for 4 months-hardly a basis for a long-term relationship, but you have split up with guy 1 before, so why would this time be any different? Are you two-timing these men? When and why did these men propose to you? What was your answer?
You are in a very tricky situation, but the quicker you resolve it, the better it will be for everyone. But you must be sure and definite with your decision, you can't just keep changing from guy to guy.
But I agree, if you did roll them together he would sound pretty perfect for any girl! But we're in the real world and sadly that can't happen. Sigh.
Hope this helps you,
Izi
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