A
female
age
30-35,
*ravisbaby
writes:I'm 15 I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years..we havnt had sex yet..I'm a virgin he's not...I'm ready 2 have sex with him..he's ready to..but I'm soo scared its gonna hurt...is there anything I could do to stop the pain? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): By the way a 15 year old is not of legal age to have consensual or non consensual sex in the US, is your boyfriend 18 or over? If he is he can be prosecuted as a child molestor and have his name put on a national sex offender list for the rest of his life.
Further negatives for having sex as a 15 year old girl is that you are at a much higher risk of contracting HPV a virus that is one of the most common human viruses, there are 47 contagious types that are sexually transmitted and condoms DO NOT PROTECT FROM IT. HPV virus can and often leads to cervical cancer which is deadly. Your sheer youth is what puts you at greater risk. It only takes one time having sex, one partner, it isn't caused by having multiple partners.
There is a vaccination for HPV, Gardasil, but the jury is out on how effective it is in protecting against the virus. If you wait to have sex until you are about 21, you are much less likely to contract the virus through sex...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): Rainorfire, it is not your job to tell a young GIRL that she will be afraid of having sex the first time no matter how old she is. What would you know about it, not owning a vagina or being able to give birth? You have insulted me on my rational advice accusing me of Telling someone they were becoming addicted to porn when I mereley warned them about it. Now you are telling this young girl how she is supposed to feel.
If you have a problem with my advice in the future, please PM me and I will show you the same courtesy.
But to you OP, you will not be fearful of sex if you are truly ready to have it. It doesn't matter how long you have been dating your boyfriend, your virginity is not something you owe to him, it isn't something that you need to lose to be grown up or to be happy....it is something you can keep as your most precious gift to hopefully give to a man when the time is right for both of you and you are physically, emotionally and financially mature and able to have sex.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (18 August 2009):
 Your going to be scared the first time regardless of how old you are.
YOu can tell your bf to be gentle go slow use lots of lube ky
you should have some foreplay so your really aroused. If your in the mood the pain might not be so bad you need to talk to your bf about your concerns he should agree to stop if it hurts to much.
you should learn about and always use protection. theres consequences potentially form having sex have your parents forbade you from being sexually active. once you become sexually active you need to be seing a gyno regularly your parents will have to set that up. if you feel your old enough to have sex then your old enough to talk to your folks about it.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (17 August 2009):
 Well if you are ready for sex then you wouldnt be scared about the pain! If you are really scared by the prospect of having sex then maybe you should wait a little longer until you dont feel so scared! And just remember, it is illegal to have sex under the age of 16 and if your boyfriend is older than you he could get into a lot of trouble!
But if you are certain you want to go ahead then I'm afraid there is no way of making it hurt less, your first time is always going to hurt a little but its not as bad as you might think. It will only hurt for a couple of minutes and then maybe for a few days after you have had sex (but it is not a proper pain, it is just sore). Making sure you are really turned on and properly lubricated helps, that will make it easier for your boyfriend to get inside you and it will hurt you less too. Just ask your boyfriend to go nice and slow, and if the pain gets too much then just stop and try again later.
Sex should be something special, and your first time should be an experience you are looking forwards to rather than scared about. If your boyfriend isnt a virgin it might be a good idea for him to get an STD check before you have sex, and make sure you use condoms (and ideally birth control too because accidents with condoms are quite common!).
I hope this helps and good luck!
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