A
female
age
36-40,
*iss sweetheart
writes: Okay so my ex text me asking if I was okay. We broke up Thursday and Saturday I received the text. So I asked him today why text me when you said you need space? I told him to be open and either way its lose lose. So I said what are you trying to see if the grass is greener on the other side so if it is, its a done deal or if its not you think I will be waiting with open arms. He says something like that. Im like are you serious. So I ask all the details. He tells me he met someone at the beach and he start talking to her a week after we broke up, well we haven't been broken up for a week. The funny thing he tells me is........she has a boyfriend! So im like huh? He tells me he doesn't talk to her like that yet (relationship) but he wants to see how things will go before we get back together. I told him im done. But isn't that odd to you all?
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broke up, get back together, has a boyfriend, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, miss sweetheart +, writes (14 October 2009):
miss sweetheart is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you sooo much. I don't know why he sees me like that. Wow he is a major jerk and loser. He claims that I pushed him away with my trust issues. Maybe so I have been told that more than once but he is lame. He is 19 im 21 so yep I didn't really think he would be real mature,just a baby who lives with his mama. I did drop a bombshell on him though so he knows he is not the only one who has it all made. I have a friend who is in the army who I started talking to before him and he really knows what he wants and at the time I didn't so I started dating the jerk but I told him now I know and with him I would have made the biggest mistake of my life. I deleted numbers,emails will be deleted,myspace he is deleted im done! I deserve better and its time to focus on me. He has such a low self esteem he always said you don't really like me,because he limps because of a football injury and he is losing his hair and basically looks old. I looked over that and tried to boost it. Wow what a waste of time.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (14 October 2009):
 To put it simply this guy has left you for another girl but is worried it might not work out (probably because of the other boyfriend issue) so he is keeping you as a back-up option in case things go wrong. He thinks you will be waiting around for him if things go wrong so he can just jump back into the relationship with you so he doesnt have to be alone.
I wouldnt say this is odd - its actually quite common behavior in men and women, this whole "back-up" option business. It normally happens when one person is dominant in the relationship (in this case your ex) and the other person is more submissive, and puts up with more of their partners bad behavior. So when the dominant one realises that they can get away with anything and will have their partner's love no matter what they do - they start pushing the boundaries and treat their partner worse and worse.
So basically your boyfriend thinks you are a doormat that he can walk all over and just pick you up and put you down whenever he chooses. He is a complete jerk to be honest, he doesnt deserve a girlfriend until he grows up and starts acting like a man not a silly spoilt little child!
You can do so much better and you deserve so much better - cut this guy out of your life and move on. Dont be the one waiting around for him when he gets bored of this new girl, otherwise he will keep on treating you so badly in the future. Delete his number, facebook, email etc...dont have any element of him left in your life. He is not worth you giving him the time of day!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2009): This guy just wants to make sure that if the new girl he is interested in, is not available, that you will be there for him.
He doestn really have any feelings for you, he just wants his cake and to eat it too....
You deserve better, and to be honest, it you take him back he will repeat his behaviour because he knows you will always be there for him and will forgive him his behaviour.
Tell him its over!
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