A
male
age
30-35,
*aga-waga
writes:I moved into a new flat a few months with two girls who were friends of my friend. i got a crush on one of the girls and then a month ago me, her and one of our friends got drunk and kissed her and touched her boobs but we couldn't do much. Afterwards we just joked about so I presumed it was just silly drunk exploits. then last friday me and my 2 flatmates got drunk and then my other flatmate went to bed. then me and my crush ended up making out lots and then more stuff happened. and then we stopped and i put her to bed. the next morning she comes into my room to borrow something and i would assume she would of been awkard. so i asked her did she remember what happened last night and she said no. then i was a bit bummed and she semi put some words in my mouth and i said what she did was embarrasing and she said she didnt want to know what she did. what do I do? some of my friends say that she knew what she did and it was her way of putting in the past but i think she genuinly doesn't remember cos she said things like "it was weird i woke up wearing my clothes but not my bra" and "i've got no idea how i hurt my elbow" when me and my flatmates were talking about the funny parts of the night. so question is, should I pursue something with her cos I'm pretty sure she likes me, or just forget about it to make the flat not awkard and should i tell her what happened
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male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (19 October 2009):
 Waga-Waga,
Come on now, you have already begun the awkwardness in the flat.
I mean come on, there is only a trainwreck of bad feelings that are going to come out of this.
So if you begin dating her, just wait....
Wait until she gets drunk and cant remember sleeping with your best friend, or cant remember telling you she is confused about sleeping with your best friend or why she woke up in your other flat mate's bed!
You have already passed the stage of awkwardness and moved on to full blown drama.
so once again, tell her if you feel you must, but only if you desire to have headaches, arguments, and drama. Because thats the only thing that will ever come out of it.
And No, Older Sister, I actually expect people to advise the poster to jump right in to a relationship with the drunkard. Its what keeps me coming back!!!!
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (19 October 2009):
 As Cerebus said, drunken fumblings are not the most romantic moments and they are definitely not the best way to start a relationship!
There wont be any way of knowing if she does remember or not - she might remember but be embarrassed about the way she behaved, or she genuinely might not remember a thing. Either way, unless you come out and ask her (bad idea by the way!) then you will never know.
So you really should forget about these drunken nights - they are pretty meaningless and dont give you a good basis for a real relationship. What you need to do is try and spend some time alone with this girl without alcohol! Maybe if all your flatmates are out of the house one night and it is just you and her, why dont you suggest you get a take-away together or maybe cook a meal together (its not overly in your face "date" but it shows her that you want to spend some time with her). If that is not an option - suggest you go out to the cinema together (just the two of you) - again it is not as "date" like as a meal or going out for drinks together, but it gives you the chance to be alone.
When you do spend some time alone with each other - then you can see how she behaves around you and then you can judge if she likes you or not. Drunken girls are pretty flirty at times so saying that you think she likes you based on this is not right - some girls when they are drunk will kiss and fool around with any guy that shows interest - it is not a true reflection of how the girl feels for the guy in question.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): No no no of course not, she is choosing to not remember what happened, so don't discuss it further
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): If I were you I'd forget about that incident, she either doesn't remember or is choosing not to remember, either way she has made it clear she doesn't want to discuss it.
This doesn't necessarily mean she's not interested it just means that she either doesn't remember or is embarassed about how the whole thing transpired, drunken mauling isn't exactly romantic.
So let that night go, it will not benefit you in any way to bring it up again and might actually harm your chances with her.
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