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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Hey all,I've asked questions here before and always gotten a good response so here goes again.Don't be afraid to be forthright, I'd like the truth.I broke up with a girl a few years ago and realised that I hadnt developed myself as a person at all. I had no hobbies and had lost contact with a lot of my friends. I needed and have done a lot fo work on me and I'm not there yet at all but I think I'll get there one day.Anyway, whilst doing all of this I haven't been seeking anyone else, I've met a few girls had fun but nothing serious on either side.I don't want to base my life on looking for "the one" but don't want to be guilty of being lazy in this respect either.I work out, love fun runs and triathlons and animals. I'm interested into getting more of a social life because as I've said I lost contact with a lot of my friends.Any advice which you guys have regarding getting a social life would be something I'd appreciate. I'm not looking for anyone to run my life but I know I don't know it all and hey why reinvent the wheel.
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female
reader, old-spinstah  +, writes (28 October 2009):
Well done for all the work you've already put in - it sounds like you're doing a great job and doing things right.kc100 gives some great ideas for extending your social circle - especially running clubs, dancing and volunteer work. Activities where you have to interact with other people are great. I'd also add activities such as singing in a choir (if you can sing), book clubs and amateur theatre companies. You don't have to be ale to act to join a theatre company - they also want people who are handy with tools or paintbrushes and can shift scenery. The best thing about these activities (for you anyway) is that there are usually a lot more women in the company than men!If you are more interested about getting back into dating, I can recommend speed dating. Don't treat it as a "girlfriend finding exercise" but as an opportunity to meet lots of different people and practice your social skills and you can have a lot of fun.Good luck and enjoy yourself
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (28 October 2009):
 Well first of all well done you for realising you needed to work on yourself - that takes a lot so well done and you will be a much better person for it!
As for what you can do to help build your social life - why not join a local running club? That way it ties in with what you enjoy, you get to keep fit and meet a group of like-minded people. I personally dont belong to a running club but I have seen a couple of clubs go out past me (when I'm jogging along slower than most people walk!) and they all seem very sociable, with a great mix of people all ages.This website might be able to help http://www.runireland.com/
You could also try volunteering - if you like animals then this would be a perfect place to start. Look up animal charities in your area and see if they need any help at weekends. Or any form of volunteering would be a good way to meet new people and do something worthwhile.
Another great way of meeting people and having some fun while you are at it is dancing classes - Salsa has taken off in a big way and there are loads of classes around, again just google some in your area. You dont need a partner - just head over to a beginners class and normally a class starts with a tuition part where you learn the steps, then you practice with other people at the class. Often they have a rule that during the practice you have to mingle and dance with other partners so you always get a dance! Even if you dont make friends or meet a woman at dance classes, at least you will learn some moves and every woman likes a man who can dance!
Now I dont know the reasons why you lost contact with your friends - maybe you had a disagreement with them, maybe you just lost touch over time. If there were no hard feelings between you and your old friends then why not get back in touch? Facebook and Friends reunited are great for finding people you have lost touch with, if you never fell out with them or anything then I'm sure they will be happy to hear from you.
Basically you are on the right tracks, all you need to do is get yourself some hobbies that you enjoy and find ways of participate in these in a social way. Nearly every hobby out there has a "group" where you can do whatever it is in a social setting, so you just need to be brave and join in!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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