A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I met this girl a couple months ago, and we're dating now. This is the first girl I have ever had real feelings for. When I'm with her I turn to mush, I smother her and make myself sick to my stomache with how nice I am to her. She isn't amazingly gorgeous, she isn't amazing in bed, she's 100% mediocre, but I can tell her things I've never told anyone. I know she isn't good for me, and I can do way better, but I can't help but want to be with her all the time. When we are apart I miss her and wonder what she's doing and who she's doing it with. This has never happened before and I'm starting to hate myself, I want nothing more than to just get rid of her but when I think about breaking it off my heart breaks. I just want this to go away, what can I do? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (22 October 2009):
 Even if you did "get rid" of her and found someone "better" - i.e. someone more attractive and better in bed, you would still be thinking about this girl and you would not have these feelings for the more attractive woman. Often the most attractive people (men and women) are pretty boring and quite stupid - they have never needed to use their personalities to get on in life and just use their looks, so as a person they are quite difficult to spend time with! Looks are not all they are cracked up to be, believe me! Yes some people have both the looks and personalities to match, but to find someone like that will be near on impossible, and to be honest pretty pointless when you have already found someone like your current girlfriend.
You say she isnt good for you - why on earth not? Because she doesnt look like a model? Anyone that makes you feel happy, someone you can be yourself around and someone that you have such strong feelings for can only be good for you, not bad!
Love doesnt come along very often, and finding someone who you are completely at ease with is pretty rare! You will struggle to find another person you feel this way about - why throw it away because she isnt quite up to your standards looks-wise?
If you enjoy being nice to her - why not buy her a few presents which might help with your physical attraction to her? Buy her a new dress, new perfume, nice make-up, treat her to a day in a spa, day in a hair salon etc...this way you can make her feel special whilst making her the best version of herself so you feel more attracted to her.
There is no way you can end this without feeling really hurt - because if you do end this then you will have lost someone you really love, and there is never a way to make that feel any less painful. If you do get rid of her then you will be throwing away a very good thing - and no other woman will measure up, no matter what she looks like.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
female
reader, leo3  +, writes (22 October 2009):
 think about it:
as far as looks go..do they really matter?
and being good in bed, that can be taught
but the connection u seem to have with her is what really matters. you obviously love her, if u leave her u will regret it forever. trust me...
when u come to terms with ur feelings for her she will be the most gorgeous woman in the world.
but if ur so shallow u cant see that ur inlove with her, then she deserves someone better then u.
...............................
A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (22 October 2009):
 It's not about being able to do better. What the hell is that about? If you find someone you gel with that's what it's all about. If you're looking for someone who looks better, is better in bed and whatever else...you're being really shallow, and I can tell you you're going to keep looking and never be satisfied. You seem to be conflicted with your feelings for her versus what other people might think of you for being with her. You need to appreciate what you have. If you can't then do her a favour and let her go. She deserves to be appreciated more than you're doing right now.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2009): Your in love! What's wrong with that??
Why isnt she good for you? And when you say you can do way better, in what way do you mean? It sounds like you are being a bit shallow. The main thing is that she is a nice person.
...............................
A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (22 October 2009):
Quit being a dumbass dude. You can do way better? Hell if you ask me I think she could do way better. She sounds like a great person. If you had half a brain you would hang onto this girl and quit being so stuck on yourself. Do way better how? A prettier girl? Better in bed? It ain't all its cracked up to be. Just stop. Your being rediculous.
...............................
|
