A
female
age
30-35,
*young4diz
writes:Im almost 15, theres a really good chance im pregnant, and i cant tell my mom. Me and the "father" aren't talking right now bc hes mad at me for thinking im pregnant. Me and him are illegal. He's over 18, and i love him and i dont want him to get in trouble. Idk what to do. I cant tell my mom bc she'll kick me out. I cant tell my sister bc she wont let me see my niece anymore and i cant tell my dad bc he'll call the cops. Im soo afraid to go to a clinic plus i have no one to drive me. Do clinics call your parents? Someone help me!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (14 October 2009):
 Clinics will not call your parents without your consent. There will be free community services for family planning (that is the old-fashioned word for contraception, sexual infections and pregnancy matters). However, you can pick up a pregnancy test at the local shop and find out if you are expecting in a matter of minutes. You say you love this man, but he obviously doesn't love you - the 'not speaking' because he doesn't want to share the responsibility for making a baby says it all. Research suggests that girls who start having risky sexual relationships under-age often come from families with poor communication and lack of support. If you cannot talk to your parents, find someone else like a school counsellor to speak to. Having sex with an older man who gives you attention in return for that is not an alternative to open, supportive communication with a responsible person who helps and supports you through your teenage years. If you are not pregnant, think how anxious you feel about the whole situation right now and hold onto those feelings. Those feelings tell you that you are in an unsupportive personal relationship with an older man who holds all the power and whose affection is conditional upon you not being pregnant. Those feelings tell you that you shouldn't be having unprotected sex until you are in a safe, secure relationship with someone who treats you with respect (that happens in later life). I hope you are not pregnant but you have to find out quickly and then make a decision about your future. If you are old enough to be doing adult stuff in the bedroom, you are old enough to face up to the emotional reactions of your family members. If you don't tell them, tell someone responsible.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (14 October 2009):
 As the anonymous poster said - get a pregnancy test done. Go to your local pharmacy/chemist and buy one from there - you dont have to tell anyone at this point. You need to confirm whether or not you are pregnant before you need to start worrying about what to do next.
Once you know for sure that you are pregnant - you have 2 choices. Either you try and deal with this on your own, or you tell your family who will help you. I'm not quite sure how things work over there in the US with your health insurance etc but I'm sure if you google pregnancy clinics/teenage pregnancy advice in your area then something will come up where you might be able to get some free advice. But I am pretty certain that in the US, there is still doctor patient confidentiality. So whatever you tell a doctor they legally cannot tell your parents, so dont worry about that.
I know you think the worst of your parents but they will want to help you - you are their daughter after all and they love you and want what is best for you. At the end of the day it is your boyfriend's fault if he gets into trouble - he knows the law and he has gone out and broken it, and to make things worse he hasnt used protection!
But if you really dont want to get him into trouble then you are just going to have to grow up pretty fast and start acting like an adult so you can get this sorted. Step 1: Buy a pregnancy test from a pharmacy. Step 2 (based on a positive result from the test): Google some teenage pregnancy organisations and sexual health clinics in your local area - speak to someone who will be able to offer you advice and point you in the right direction. Step 3: Go to the clinic/doctor (whatever the person you have spoken to recommends). So you cant drive - ask your boyfriend, get a taxi or use public transport (trains, buses...etc).
If you feel you are old enough to have sex you have to be old enough to deal with the consequences that come from having sex. You know what happens when you have unprotected sex - you make babies. So you have made this choice to have unprotected sex therefore you have to now deal with the consequences. Stop making excuses why you cant deal with this - if there is a problem you need to overcome it. There are ways to travel without your parents, you can get money from your boyfriend if you need it (after all this is his fault too and I'm sure he would rather pay for a pregnancy test for you than go to jail for statutory rape when your dad calls the cops).
I hope this helps
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2009): First of all, get a pregnancy test to confirm whether or not you're pregnant; the at-home tests are pretty accurate. If you are pregnant, you absolutely have to tell your parents. There's no way around it.
Also, if your boyfriend is mad at you for thinking you're pregnant--especially since he's the one who may have made you pregnant--he's a jerk. If you're not pregnant, please slow down and don't have sex until you are old enough to deal with the consequences.
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