A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I tried to search around a little but about the only things I could pull up were mostly about dating "rules" and the games which I'm not into at all so I'm hoping I can get a more clear answer here.I've been with someone for 2 weeks now and we seem to have a great connection. She's given a lot of signals that she wants to be with me and has even come right out and said she had a great time without me even asking so I am taking it all as very good signs. My question is whether or not to bring up the discussion of an exclusive relationship soon. I already have stayed exclusive to her but I don't want to come off as pushy or anything so I'm debating as to whether or not to bring it up. I've thought of how I'd bring it up if I did and I would try to make it as casual as possible and just basically ask her how she feels about where our relationship is going and if she is feeling the same way about it. I don't want to try and rush anything but at the same time I don't want us to be wondering about it if we haven't discussed it. So what would be best in this situation? We've seen each other several times and talk just about every day so I think she would be open to the discussion but I don't want to look possessive because that's not my intention at all. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (16 October 2009):
 Its only been 2 weeks so it might be a little soon - I would wait another 2 weeks until you have been dating for a month and then just be honest with her about how you feel.
All you need to do is tell her that you really like her and would like to make this relationship exclusive. Thats all you need to say really - it is not too serious as you are not declaring that you love her and want to be together forever, nor are you being too casual and relying on her to make the decisions. If she is a decent girl who feels the same way about you then she will be so happy that you have told her how you feel and made that big move into making your relationship exclusive.
I do feel sorry for you Americans with your dating scene - over here in the UK you absolutely cannot date more than one person at the same time (you would be seen as a "slag" - someone who gives it away too easy and someone with no morals!) so we never have to have the "exclusivity" conversation. We over here just date for a while then if the guy is generally just ask something like "so are we together then?" or "can I call you my girlfriend now?". We have it so much easier over here, you Americans love the dating game it seems and have some funny rules!
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009): Dude,
Dont stress it. The first rule is that there are no rules. The second rule is never forget the first rule.
You like this girl, you want to spend time with her and develop a relationship with her.
Id start off by telling her that. I wouldnt mention the word exclusive Id just say that youd like to be her BF and her to be your GF, it sounds corny,. she may already think that you guys are, but sure how bad. Dont assume anything.
Now how to do it, well,
Id open by complimenting her on how she looks, Id kiss her and then looking into her eyes Id say what you have to say. Shell either melt in your arms or you will see her answer in her eyes.
Good luck with it my friend.
Elpigaro
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009): just ask her straight how she would feel about being exclusive.
As long as you dont throw yourself at her crying "i love you please be with only me, please, please, please". She shouldnt be to upset.
If she is, take the free ride and meet someone better
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