A
female
age
30-35,
*errson
writes:Hello Aunts and Uncles, I have always read peoples problems on this website and have decided I need your help. My love, John of 1 year, 9 months left me last week to go for an expedition in California, hiking to Arizona and then hiking all the way home to Montana, I know sounds crazy right, he doesn't have a phone, or any way of getting ahold of me. So I don't know if hes alive or where he is or whether he is being faithful to me, I also don't know when he'll be back. He's been living with me for more than a year, I love him but I feel like I wasn't getting what I needed from the relationship. About a month and a half before he left he broke up with me when we got in a fight (I have jealous tendencies). We never officially got back together but after about a week we were both acting like we were together again, everything was about the same. I was really upset when I found out he was leaving but I knew he had to do it, he's like that. His sister and his father live with my mom and my sister in this house, my sister and his sister have never gotten along and I know why now. John told me before he left that I should find a nice guy to take care of me, he is not jealous at all of other guys so this didn't surprise me but it made me think that maybe he was saying this so that if he ran into a woman he could have some experiences with her and not feel as bad. So, I've always had this crush on this friend of his, he's musical, funny, sensitive, has a good taste in literature, and sometimes I think he might like me even though he's kind of guarded so I can't really tell. A few days after John left, I told his sister about the crush I had on his friend. She is a lying, horny bitch and always has a long list of guys she wants to hook up with like her etc. and I told her about the only guy I like and now I regret it because this weekend we went to his house for a party and that night she tried hitting on him so bad and when me and her were going to share a bed she strutted off into his room and made out with him. I know she makes up stuff, I have caught her in her lies before so she always tries to tell me how he gropes her and stuff which I could never see him doing which is ridiculous. She hurt my feelings pretty bad and proved to me what my sister was saying was true (she is a caniving bitch). I've been wanting to tell him how I feel about him, but I wanted to wait a while first but now that she is doing this I feel like it's now or never but who knows. I wonder if he likes her or me? Is it too soon after John leaving for me to tell his friend that I have a crush on him? I really like him for who he is, not just to hook up with him like her. I want to tell the girl about how she hurt my feelings but I have problems confronting. I don't know what to do so I would like some suggestions
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broke up, crush, got back together, horny, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): You need to decide whether you want John or this other guy.
What is your 'friend' trying to prove by going with the other guy? Is she competing with you? Some friend.
But if you are really with John then what right have you to be jealous.
You sound really confused. And if you have a problem with jealousy it can ruin your relationships. It can also be a way to wind you up. I don't know your friend's motives, but I do think you should get some help and support from someone, a website, a self-help book, a counsellor or whoever, with the jealousy aspect.
Good luck, and I hope you feel happier once you have sorted out the underlying problem.
A
female
reader, Merrson +, writes (7 December 2010):
Merrson is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your imput, it really does help, I still have feelings for John so I am going to wait a while before I make any decisions. But I still enjoy flirting with my crush :) maybe someday if I feel its apropiate I'll tell him how I feel.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (7 December 2010):
 Look - you need to sort out whatever it is going on with John before you think about another man because you could end up hurting lots of people. So here are your 2 options:
1. Decide that it is over for good with John and there is no going back to him when he does come back. Then you can move on and start dating other people
2. Decide that you still love John and when he does come back you want to give it another go with him, therefore you will wait and not date anyone else.
Because here is the problem - if you still love John it is not fair to any new guy you date, you will still have feelings for an ex and that is very very wrong to carry those feelings into a new relationship. And say you do start dating again, and the new guy falls for you - then John comes back and you run off back to John - you have just broken your new guy's heart.
So you have to decide what YOU want before you start dating again and potentially hurting people, because it is not right to mess people around and play with their feelings. If you still love John and want him back then you will just have to wait, if you love him then it will be worth the wait. And worth the risk that he might meet someone else, because you never know he might not meet anyone and be waiting to get back to you again.
As for the guy you have a crush on - if he happily let John's sister into his room and made out with her then he is either a player, or not interested in you and likes his sister. And dating your boyfriend, or your boyfriend's ex is a big NO NO because it will cause a rift between John and his friend and that is not a nice thing for you to do. Girls should not come between friends, just as boys should not come between female friends either. And if you choose to persue this guy you will only cause problems with John and his friend, and that is wrong if you are happy to deliberately ruin a friendship.
So what I think you need to do is take some time out from boys, decide if you want to be with John or not - and then take it from there.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (7 December 2010):
 Tell him! It isnt too early if you like him go for it! You dont need to worry about the girl. You will get her back when he picks u.
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