A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my gf now for 3 years. The last few months I have been feeling myself less attracted to my gf and increasingly attracted to her cousin. I love my gf, but it feels as though it is in a sisterly way. I dont want to break my gfs heart, but I am completely in love with her cousin. And if I broke up with my gf and got togtehor with her cousin i would be hated by their family. I dont know what to do! All I do know is that I cant stay with my gf for much longer, and there is alot of attraction with her cousin and I. What should I do?
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (10 December 2010):
If you dont love your girlfriend anymore then the right thing to do is end it with her - it is not fair to string her along and waste her time when you dont feel that strongly for her anymore. Of course she will be hurt, all break-ups hurt but it will hurt her more if she spends any more time on you and then finds out later in life that you dont love her and have been in love with someone else for years. That will be FAR worse than breaking up with her now, so do the right thing and let her go so she can find someone who loves her the way she deserves. You are holding her back from being happy if you stay with her, and you are stopping yourself from being happy too. So be brave, and just end it before it gets any worse.
As for the cousin - you CANNOT ever be with her so just let her go too. Chances are she does not feel the same way for you, and would never hurt a member of her own family by dating her ex therefore you have NO chance of getting with her. So just accept that yes you have feelings for her, but they will fade with time. And when you stop seeing your girlfriend, you will stop having contact with the cousin too so eventually your feelings will fade for her in time.
There are 6 billion people on this planet, and while you may be in love with her cousin right now, you will get over these feelings and one day fall for another girl who you will feel just as strongly, if not more strongly for.
So do the right thing here - let them both go and start to move on.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
female
reader, mysticpurple +, writes (10 December 2010):
hi there
If you no longer want to be in a relationship then the fairest thing for both of you would be to break it off... yes ending relationships hurts but time does heal.
As for the cousin you already know the repercussions... depends if you can cope with it or not... Good Luck :)
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