A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 16 and there's this 22 year old guy I started talking to over the internet... At first I was experimenting with talking to older guys because I was curious to see really how much different it'd be if looks and appearances weren't in the process of getting to know someone.I was extremely careful when interacting with him via the internet because I know how iffy and dangerous it could get.He was living in my home town when I started talking to him 5 months ago but had moved away across the country to go to school.I talk to him a lot and this question isn't even about whether he wants sex or not. I'm just still wondering if he sees any potential in us being together when he's back from school!Or at the least see me as anything more than JUST a 16 year old kid high schoolerWe have a flirty/brothersister thing going on, but there are many times where his interest in me fluctuates and it is very very frustratingly confusing. :( I've never had as strong of feelings for this personality and that scares me because I've never even met him :/He once told me that he'd date me if he was back in high school and that it's a shame I'm only 16. Am I making him sound better than he really is??Thanks for reading :)
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (6 December 2010):
 It is quite easy with online relationships to make the person into a 'perfect man' because all you get are some words on a screen, and maybe the odd telephone conversation so you fill in the gaps - he can be whatever you want him to be!
Being around each other in person is (in my opinion) about 3/4 of the relationship - I think the times when you find out the most about each other and if you are compatible are when you just sit in silence together, watching a movie, or just simply holding each other in bed. Words can mean nothing, and are easily said - but it is actions that matter.
True intimacy (not sex) and physical attraction are the real indicators of whether or not a relationship will work and you are right for each other. You dont even know someone's real personality until you spend a lot of time with them in person - body language is so important!
On the interent you can be whoever you want to be, you can so easily pretend to be something you are not. So chances are you have fallen for the 'perfect' version of himself that he portrays over the internet, and then all the gaps that are left with online relationships you have just filled in, in your head you have put together this picture of a man that probably does not exist.
Chances are he would not meet your expectations of him if you met in real life because the reality is always VERY different to the online version. And then add in the age difference which would make things very hard (in a whole heap of ways), plus he is at college/university I presume, so his life is massively different to yours right now - his life will be all about parties, girls, and figuring out his career.
Long distance + big age gap + college + never met in real life = terrible relationship!
I could give you a list as long as both of my arms as to why this would never ever work - but I wont bore you with that! Just trust me on this - he is fine as an online friend, but he will never be anything more.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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