A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi Just wondering if any of the readers here have had their partners having issues with lubrication?.Ive been with my partner years now, we have both been STD tested, are monogamous and trying for a baby, so dont use protection.This weekend though we had real issues having sex.I always spend a good while on foreplay since she takes a while to get lubricated and i enjoy that... this weekend though was a nightmare.The first time we tried to have sex, it was really dry- and hurt her so i stopped and went back to giving oral.. right up to the point that she 'got there'.. but still she was too try for sex. When we finally did manage it..she was still quite dry ..and promptly ...passed gas quite loudly which sent us both into fits of laughter and we left it at that.The next day though.. the same issue, plenty of foreplay, right up to the point of orgasm.. and she was quite dry.Ive noticed that over recent months she seems to take more and more foreplay to get wet.I know some people use lube, but ive always thought it was for either old couples (shes only 43) or couples where theres not much foreplay?.Do you think its a sign she just isnt that into me anymore? She still seems to want sex, she still 'got there' through oral/fingers etc.. but its got me a bit confused and is putting me off initiating anything.Ive also never had issues like this before with a partner.Thanks.
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female
reader, DenimandLace44  +, writes (6 December 2010):
 This is a very very common menopausal issue. She is probably perimenopausal... Which means she is still fertile, but the hormones are beginning to change. Dont make a big deal out of it because it has absolutely NOTHING to do with her arousal level. Just keep lube handy. :)
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (6 December 2010):
 Well she is not young to be honest, and plenty of women start going through the menopause in their 40's, so she might want to go to the doctor and get checked out.
But on the other hand, it is quite normal on occasions to not get particularly wet. I know it has happened to me before (I am 23) for no apparent reason - I was really enjoying it and felt mentally turned on but it just did not quite happen down there!
Seen as it is just happened this weekend then try not to worry about it, I'm sure it will be back to normal soon!
And as for lube - I dont know where you got that idea from but all sorts of people of different ages and different sexual preferences use it! My partner and I use it from time to time when I am not quite wet enough, it is so simple and quick to use there is no reason not to really! So dont worry if even after foreplay she still is not quite wet enough, just invest in some good quality lube and problem solved! It doesnt mean that you have failed during foreplay, or that you are too old for sex - millions of people use it as it just helps things along!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (6 December 2010):
 Honestly girls cant control that and it doesnt always come as easily as guys. It doesnt mean that she doesnt want you! Get lube. its make everything better. And its not just for old people
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