A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi all. This is more a self-esteem/relationship with myself kinda deal. I'm currently 220 lbs and at only 5'4", I'm a big girl. It sucks and I hate it. I was actually one of those girls you called anorexic back in elementary school because I was so tiny at the time. Then I hit puberty... and I could have gotten acne, I could have been a late bloomer in the breast department, I could have started my period at the most inopportune time in gym class. But no....... I gained a shit ton of weight. When I was only 14, I weighed in at 185 lbs and I was only five foot then.Fast forward 10 years, I'm 22, and I just graduated from a Top-Ten college to be a nurse. I've been dating the same guy for three years and we've been engaged for six months. He tells me on a constant basis that I'm beautiful just the way I am and he sometimes jokes about the whole "more cushion for the pushin'" thing but sometimes... it pisses me off. I understand he loves my body, he loves me, and I shouldn't complain because of that. But in reality, my weight issue has been getting the better of me since I was 12 years old.I'm not a shallow person by any means; hell, I'm the fat friend of my college friends! I'm not the stereotypical class clown just because I have extra poundage. I've pushed myself through my education to get the straight-A's in the Honor's classes that most of my then high school buddies wanted to do but never had the motivation to achieve. I got myself into the third best nursing school in America by using my brain and I got the man of my dreams to fall in love with me by just being smart.I know where I'm going in life but my weight is killing me. I've been on a few diets in my teenage years; once I forced myself not to eat for 72 hours back just before senior prom. I did lose about 10 lbs but I ended up making myself physically ill on prom night and threw up on my $150 dress. My date was not impressed.But... I'm getting married next year and it's supposed to be the best day of my life next to giving birth to my first born. I refuse to be this fat, tub of lard in the white dress that I've always dreamed of. I want to lose 100 lbs but right now, it seems like such a far off place. 120 lbs? It seems overwhelming but I'm going to be an adult about this. My fiance (who is 26; just became an actual doctor; delicious and despicable 150 lb, 6'0", walking six pack who I can't believe my luck with) has been supporting this decision since I told him about it three days ago.So... as the point of any post I've noticed on here: Any suggestions?
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female
reader, Celest  +, writes (22 July 2011):
 Hey There! Congratulations on your decision! Whatever you do, I am sure that you will make it because you have decide so. I will also add, that exercise it helps a lot and you should definitely do something. It will help you to lose weight, it will help you to build your muscles properly but it will also help you produce endorphins and that it will help you feel healthy and happy and it will hopefully keep you motivated!! I have a gold diet for you and a gold rule. You can choose the one that it suits you the best or you can make a combination. The hours should be according to your daily programm of course this is an approximate one.Breakfast: 1 glass of milk with fibre flakes + 1 glass of natural juice or 1 fruit10 -11: A Danish open faced sandwich !!!! ( I ‘ll explain to you what it is and you will love it);-)Lunch: A meal of proteins(chicken – fish – red meat – minch meat )grilled and a big salad. The salad has to be different every day so you can have a variety of vitamins.Or risotto with shrimps and mushrooms and vegetables or an omelet. Diner: A salad like the one you have in the lunch.In this diet you have to forget, pasta, potatoes, butter, fat and candies. Also you have to use olive oil two spoons a day one spoon to each salad and that’s all. You can use herbs, onions, parsley, peppers, peppermint, vinegar, chutney, lemon juice. Whatever you like. You have to be very careful with the alcohol and the refreshments. During the day you can and must have 3-4 yogurts low fat and 3-4 fruits all kind. A healthy person can lose from 11 to 16 lbs a month.. It will go very fast I can tell you.!!But you should not do that more than 3 to 4 months. (it depend on how your feeling I did that for approximately 4 months...was once in a life time… and it was good enough).Here we are with the gold rule…. Counting calories… it is what I am doing since then. It is pure math… Now your weight is 220 lbs to maintain that you need 3465 cal per day. So if you consume less than that you will lose weight. If you just start looking up how many calories is this food or that drink, very soon you will have an idea of the foods and the drinks that you can have and how often. So, lets say that you decide to have 2000 cal per day. I can tell you that you can eat a lot and nicely and you will lose a lot of weight. If something happens one day and you take 2250 cal you can adjust the next day by talking 1750 instead! I know that many people think that this is hard and confusing but it is easier than it seems.it will not take more than two weeks to familiarize yourself with the products that you re consuming and then you just know!! And by the way I own you an explanation about the Danish open faced sandwiches… Either with the gold diet or the gold rule these are the best you can eat. They have approximately 300-400 cal, it is not much and can keep you full for hours and hours. In the rye bread with multi cereals, you can have a thin slice of roast beef and remoulade or mustard or mayonnaise, with roasted onions and cucumber salad. Or boiled egg with mayonnaise and row onions and salt and pepper. Or salmon and omelet and capers or with shrimps, anchovies, tuna, salami and many many more.. you will find many recipes if you google it. I am in the gold rule mode myself and I am enjoying a lot, because I am a gourmet girl and on the other hand I like my beautiful dresses :-) So good luck and feel free to contact me if you need a detail or something!!!
A
female
reader, Nime +, writes (22 July 2011):
 WHATEVER you do to lose this weight, make sure you start taking supplements like iron (ferrous sulfate) and biotin, and, yes, Rogaine, as SOON as you start. With that much weight to lose it is highly probable that your body will react to the stress with massive hair shedding and you could be battling thin hair for the rest of your life. What you want to do is take measures to prevent the fall as early as possible. Please look into this for your own sake.
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A
female
reader, Battista  +, writes (22 July 2011):
Hey OP
I'm just going to second what other people have already said here I think.
My advice is: don't try and starve yourself and go on unsustainable diets, do some exercise instead. Start gradually and it will become part of your daily routine. It can be anything: walking, dancing, hula hooping, running, cross training, swimming, tennis, basically you name it.
You're a nurse so I'm sure you know all this already. The other thing I would say is do try and stick to your daily recommended calorie intake rather than going over it (or reducing it too much). If you are going to start exercising you need to have a good balanced diet.
Sadly there's no quick fix with weight loss, but you will start to see a difference before too long I'm sure. 3500 cals = 1 lb of fat, so you can try and calculate a combo of exercise and perhaps a small amount of dieting to get an idea.
Good luck! I'm sure you can do it. You're clearly motivated and a high achiever. You'll get there!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 July 2011):
 The first would be please do not try to loose 100 pounds in one year in view of your wedding. You'd wreak havoc on your thyroid gland, would probably fall into depression and would fill yourself with stretch marks. Rome was not built in one day- accept that it will take time and perseverance, break the total weight loss down in 10 pounds , or even 5 pounds, segments, and celebrate every segment you complete by rewarding yourself with something nice ( possibly not a triple topping large pizza ! ). Every step of the process is a victory per se. With just 10 pounds less, you can say bye to shapeless muu-muus , with 20 pounds less you'll already feel like a totally different person, with 30 you'll climb all the stairs you want without panting, with 40 you'll be voluptous, yummy and rubenesque but definetely not a tub of lard.
One step after the next , slow and steady, you'll get there.
There are tons of different slimmimg plans and diets, perhaps the best is that you see a nutritionist and get a personalized plan that takes into accounts your schedule and preferences. And, of course, you need to exercise- since I suspect you are not a big fan of exercise, you need to make it fun, not punitive, at least as much fun as possible. Maybe a dance class. Try Middle Eastern dancing-
you still burn a lot of calories, but it's not only for young , skinny athletes. Plenty of plumper ladies in those classes, you'll feel less conspicuous.
Oh and maybe with a doctor boyfriend this is a superflous advice, but just in case - did you have a thourough medical check up ? Did you see an endocrinologist ? Generally such a massive weight gain is not purely the product of a fondness for ice cream, it comes from some
metabolic inbalance or other medical conditions.
Good luck , and best wishes for the wedding.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (22 July 2011):
Hi there. I don't think you have actually said this in your question, but do you get any exercise?
If you don't, you are not balancing the input of food with the output of energy.
One of the best forms of exercise for anyone, is walking. All you need is comfortable, loose clothes and sox and good walking shoes. So it's certainly not expensive.
It might not sound very impressive to you, but if you go out walking at least 3 days a week for about 30 minutes each time, you will find that after a couple of weeks, your clothes will begin to get loose around your waistline. Well, more loose all over actually.
In fact, you will probably see a change in how your clothes fit you, long before it shows up on your weighing scales. Many people think they are not losing weight because they are only looking at their scales, and disregarding how their clothes fit them.
Also, if you eat a lot of snacks in between meals - like biscuits, lollies, chocolate bars etc. - try to cut them down gradually, or better still, cut them out altogether, and if you are hungry in between one meal and the next, try eating a piece of fruit instead. Or simply have a glass of nice fresh cool tap water. It will fill you up more, so you won't be so hungry. And it won't spoil your appetite.
Quite often, one of the biggest obstacles to weight loss is snacking in between meals. And the other obstacle to weight loss is lack of exercise.
It's very hard to lose weight if you don't exercise at all. No matter what type of diet you put yourself on, you still DO absolutely need to exercise, to really make it work efficiently. And the exercise is best done every day for at least 30 minutes at a time.
Sometimes we snack whenever we are bored. So keeping that in mind, maybe you could get busy with your hands - do you like to do gardening? It's great being out in the fresh air and with mother nature. It's quite exhilarating actually. You might find that you enjoy it. Even if it's just watering some pot plants and trimming other plants. It's still a very enjoyable activity.
Or what about some other interesting hobby. Maybe you could read an interesting book. What about artistic pursuits, drawing or painting? These artistic activities really take your mind to another world entirely. It's a great feeling.
If you do something fun, you will be much less inclined to reach for the biscuits or whatever's on hand. It will act as a distraction.
Exercising is also a good antidote for boredom and depression. You will feel fantastic after and it will relax you and help you sleep well at night.
In saying all this, I am of course assuming that there are no underlying health problems - such as thyroid gland problems.
If you try to:-
(1) Cut down or cut out snacks - and eat fruit instead.
(2) Go walking for 30 minutes every day.
(3) Take up some fun activity or hobby whenever you feel bored.
(4) Walk whenever you feel bored.
And if you do all these things every single day, you will find that the weight will gradually just drop off you.
I wish you well. Take care and best wishes.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (22 July 2011):
 Well first of all congratulations on making the first step to actually realising your weight is a problem and you want to change it, I know that sounds silly but it is actually a big deal to finally come to terms with your weight and be serious about changing it. You can go on for years being unhappy about your weight but sort of accepting it and not having the motivation to change anything, so you have already made good progress.
Have you thought about joining something like Weight Watchers? I am currently on Weight Watchers now and I have actually really enjoyed it, I have lost 7lbs so far and it is still coming off fairly easily. Admittedly I only want to lose around 20lbs so not as much as you, but it is still a nice easy plan to follow and is having good results. You can do it all online if you dont want to go to classes, and has so many great recipes available which really helps me (I love food and cooking so I could never give up eating tasty food, so now I just have a library of tasty healthy recipes instead!).
Or if you dont want to spend any money on trying to lose weight then there are some easy things you can do yourself.
1. Set a more realistic goal. Being 120lbs is pretty unrealistic, yes some girls are lucky enough to be that size but not many, and it is unattainable for most. Before I started Weight Watchers I weighed 156lbs and my goal is 133lbs (I am 5ft 3inches in height) - I could never be much less than that, heck I will be happy at 140lbs! If your body naturally became larger then perhaps you are just not going to be really skinny ever again, so giving yourself that goal will only set yourself up for failure. Perhaps aim for 150lbs or 140lbs? That would still be a healthy weight for your height and you will feel incredible if you can lose 70-80lbs. 100lbs or more is just taking it too far, dont go crazy!
2. Start exercising as often as you can, as a minimum 3 times a week. If you dont want to join a gym or go swimming, then try walking and jogging. It is free and you can build up your fitness at your own pace. Before I started my weight loss journey I couldnt even run for 10 minutes without needing to stop and walk, now I run 5k 3 times a week and I have completed a 10k race in a respectable time. It is very hard at the start, and progress can be slow - but you get there in the end. Just try walking for half an hour to an hour each day, that will make a big difference! Once the weight starts to come off, then you will find exercising gets easier and easier so you may be able to incorporate some jogging. Dont try too much too soon - you will get injured that way, so take it slow, start out by walking and then maybe when you get under 200lbs plan to increase your intensity of your workouts.
3. Look at what you eat currently and where you go wrong. Do you love takeaways and fast food? Do you have massive portions? Do you snack throughout the day? Do you give yourself the same portions as your fiance? Do you eat late at night? Do you simply love good food and cooking and let yourself eat whatever you want? Do you have a lot of alcohol? A lot of people are often in denial about what they eat, that was one of the main things I found with Weight Watchers - I thought my diet was pretty healthy beforehand and I wasnt eating too much, but it proved my portions were way too big and I was eating the wrong things. Be brutally honest with yourself and really investigate your eating habits.
4. Once you have identified where you are going wrong - make some changes. Easy changes are to swap all white foods (pasta, bread, rice..etc) for their brown, wholegrain/wholewheat version which are much better for you. Try and also cut down the amount of carbs you have, we dont need much of them so keep them to a minimum. Increase your protein if you are exercising and this will stop you missing the carbs so much. Try not to snack on anything other than fruit and vegetables. Make sure you are eating 3 times a day, breakfast is very important as it kick starts your metabolism for the day. Keep fats and sugar to a minimum - so no cakes, chocolates, sweets, oils, butter, sauces etc. You can have a little of what you love (for me it is chocolate) but find healthier ways to have them and have less. I eat snacksize chocolate bars (1 or 2 a day) that are around or under 100 calories so I get my chocolate fix without going mad on fat or calories.
5. Dont give up! There will be weeks when you wont lose weight, there will be weeks where you have a night out or go to a party and fall off the bandwagon in spectacular style. There may just be days when you cant be bothered and order pizza! But the key is to recongise that there will be ups and downs, its not going to be easy all the time and motivation will fade. But as long as you can pick yourself back up quickly and keep your long term goal in your mind, you will be fine. Never allow yourself to have the mentality of "oh I'll start the diet again on Monday" and then eat loads over a whole weekend - you can have the odd naughty day but dont let it carry on for more than 1 day. Keep that image of you walking down the aisle in your head and you should find your motivation comes back pretty quickly!
So its up to you if you feel you need to join something like Weight Watchers to keep you on track, or if you think you can motivate yourself. But either way, just do something about it! When you are next at home, throw out all your junk food and anything processed so you are not tempted by it, then go out to the shops and stock up on healthy food. Start that diet today, not tomorrow, not on Monday - go out and do it now! Make that leap and come Monday you could have already lost a couple of pounds - think about how good that will feel!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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