A
female
age
30-35,
*rokenSky
writes:hi ... i'm a girl 18 ... i met some guy on on internet on a 3D game ..he told me his name is Paul and he is 18 ... i loved him ...he shown me some pic for young boy pretending its him.. after being his gf ... in some night he told me he is Ahmed and 35 ... that night he swear he is telling the truth ... he was acting so good and i believed..he was begging me to insult him ..to say anything ... but tears was the only answer ... i hesitated .. but i continue with him ..and i was planing with my mom to go visit him .. and i was planing with him to skip my family and live with him..i was stupid..after months he told me he is Ahmed but 44 .. i was shocked surprised ..omg 44 ????i asked him to be friends only .. but he keep tell me we love each other and we have to continue ...i was cute but since i knew he got my love with wrong fake age i started to drink alcohol and i loose the control ... but i never start to offend him ..when he do i react..and he call me fake ,liar,mental,drama,playing victim,playing on internet , insane i think it's a psychological Projection because it's what he is ..Please , everyone tell me what do you think about him because he destoyed my dreams my happiness and my whole life ... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (16 July 2011):
 BrokenSky, that is an inappropriate avatar to use. You haven't learned anything, have you? Stay off the games, go back to real life. Change your phone number, close your online accounts and start new ones and don't chat with strangers in the Internet.
Tell your father you have problems; he won't thank you but he needs to know about this predator.
Do not respond to the predator now. Change your phone number. Delete your email accounts, online accounts, all traces of you and start new ones if you must. Tell your family what you are doing, as you give them your new contact details. Do not use pictures of your breasts ( even clothed) as an avatar. That is like painting a large target on yourself; "here I am, come abuse me!"
Best wishes to you. I think it's time for you to get that professional help, as you can't seem to help yourself, alas.
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (16 July 2011):
 i know it hurts right now, it always does when we are lied to and treated like a fool. your feelings will get easier over time. you have learned a valuable life lesson in the meantime though - do not trust a person online until you get to know them SAFELY, PROPERLY and at a speed YOU are comfortable with (this goes for real life relationships too, not just internet ones)
when meeting someone new always keep your feet on the ground, feeling like you are being swept off you feet in a romantic whirlwind spells trouble. it is a predator's way of disorientating you, you get confused and are hence more pliable for them. so if they are the sort of man to use you and drop you it is from a great height and hurts more.
end all contact with this man, but be thankful to him that he has taught you something about the badness that exists outside your door. sad but true :(
x
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A
female
reader, BrokenSky +, writes (16 July 2011):
BrokenSky is verified as being by the original poster of the question 3 days ago i told him i know u will use dirty ways to hurt me ...and when he saw my question on here and after reading he said i call him pedo and i want call police for him ...
he sent me msg telling : "But be careful ,if you want to play with the fire you can be burned ,If you want to play that game,I can too,but it can be a dirty result,you are going far now and that begin to make me angry..."
asking a question on here is a game ?and he is telling me i can get dirty results as revenge ?
its a real threatening ..how he dare to threat me after all what he did.. dont undrestand his personality ..how he is a guilty sinful and still can threat!
anyway ..i wrote on here it hurt when i hear ppl calling him pedo
and i answered i would never call police for him..
let him finish it more dirty ...when i was playing the 3D game a friend fought alot with my lover .. i asked him on msn"why r u hating and fighting my lover?" he answerd "cuz i feel he will do something bad to destroy u .. and days will prove that"
days left ..and i got it ..my friend was wise...and my lover destroyed my dreams...
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A
female
reader, BrokenSky +, writes (16 July 2011):
BrokenSky is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthnx alot for your answer AngelDlite :)
mhm to day i was reading about psychological projection :
psychological projection: someone who is fake and a liar, and pretending that it is someone else , he will call his friend kake and liar, projecting his faults to another person.
projection psychologique :quelqu'un qui est faux et menteur, et en prétendant qu'il est une autre personne qu'il va appeler son ami faux et menteur, projetant ses défauts sur l'autre personne.
i feel like dying to say that about him and i wish its just a nightmare ....
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (16 July 2011):
see this for what it is - you fell for a fantasy characher who doesn't exist. this predatator of a man is now really angry that you turned out to be too smart for his lies, hence the nasty messages.
i know you feel very hurt and dissapointed that he was not the lovely boy that you thought he was, you will get over this in time though, just be thankful you had a VERY lucky escape this time. you need really to either block his number from contacting your mobile or change you phone number so he can't contact you at all, coz all he wants to do is mess with your head.
"and he call me fake ,liar,mental,drama,playing victim,playing on internet , insane
i think it's a psychological Projection because it's what he is .." - i TOTALLY agree with you about this. you need to avoid all contact with this dangerous man, don't let him get you depressed and drive you to drink. he REALLY is not worth doing that to yourself for.
i think this man should be reported really, he has a very smooth way of making young girls like you believe that he is a teenage boy that they would like to meet up with, even posting a photo of a boy and pretending its him, so i am betting you are not the first girl he has tried this with and you won't be the last, i dread to think what he classes as minimum age. what he has done is classic paedophile behaviour. it is not surprising you fell for him though, that was his plan. its called 'grooming'
x
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A
female
reader, BrokenSky +, writes (15 July 2011):
BrokenSky is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno we didnt meet yet ... it was supposed this month we will meet ...i was planning to skip my family and live with him ...till he told me he was 44 ...and things started to get worse evryday ...
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A
female
reader, AgonyAuntiee93 +, writes (15 July 2011):
Hvae you even met him? Because if you block him and stop talking to him, he can get out of your life! But if he knows where you live then its a problem..
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female
reader, BrokenSky +, writes (15 July 2011):
BrokenSky is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhen i was with him i felt im evrything for him till i got this message from a friend on here :
"I'm going to tell you another unpleasant truth. This kind of predator doesn't work on one target at a time. As soon as you sign off he looks up the next one on his list. You are most likely one of three to five girls he is working on."
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 July 2011):
I'm older than he said he is, dear. It's now time to get your friends and family back. Have you called them yet?
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A
female
reader, BrokenSky +, writes (15 July 2011):
BrokenSky is verified as being by the original poster of the questionrlly i feel much better reading ur advices Irish49thnx and happy to have u in my friend list my life was normal but since i knew him he tell me to keep on internet to talk to him even if i change room he get mad ... he want me to keep in my room all the day and talking to him i make my cmobile silent i answer only mom or friends when i play music he tell me to stop it i blocked most of my friends on internet for him i left all my friends and cousins in real for him .. i was just staying in my room talking to him ...and the thanks was always a bunch of hurting words as i said in the main question ...Tisha :the Lesson is i will never have a bf from internet .and how old r u Tisha plz?thnx YouWish.. a man can undrestand more the behaviour of a man :)again thnx all ..specially Irish49
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female
reader, Irish49  +, writes (15 July 2011):
 I think the rationale of calling him a predator was because by the information you gave us Aunts, this fellow had all the clear markings of one. I would go as far as calling him a cyberpath: Check this link:
http://enpsychopedia.org/index.php/Cyberpath
You need to get it out of your head that he loved you. And you need to really look hard into yourself and ask why you so willingly 'loved' this phantom lover back after he treated you so badly. That is not healthy nor wise. You have to be smart and look out for yourself. When someone loves you, they do not demean you, and call you names. They have patience, kindness and try their best to reach a compromise, when a problem arises. And a genuine guy who loves will know you in the real world..not online.
You said you never met him so truthfully, you didn't know him. Accept that. That also was a big red flag. He lied about who he was right off the start. Then when you found out about his lies, you didn't stop and ask yourself "what is wrong with this guy?"
As much as you state you 'love' him...it's hard for all of us to believe that this was love in the truest sense. You need to research what real love is. And it doesn't come from hearing romantic words from a stranger on the other side of a keyboard. Cyberpaths lie and manipulate. They make big promises, they endear themselves to unsuspecting victims. They really have no intent of ever meeting their victim, in real life...plain and simple. You said, you were planning to go meet him with your Mother. It appears problems started after that occured. It's no coincidence that this happened. He had to stop the real life meeting at all costs because as a cyberpath, he would have no interest in meeting his victim. He just wanted to use you for his own entertainment. If your online relationship had not reached the sexual/cybersex phase, it would have, eventually. This all he wanted. This is what these whacko guys on the internet do. Why? We don't know but cyberpaths do have deep seated personality disorders that no one seems to understand.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 July 2011):
You have feelings for the fantasy person he presented to you, NOT him. He is not the person he pretended to be. You expended time and energy on the fantasy, and that is what you need to realize.
Lesson #1: You didn't fall in love with a real person. You fell "in love" with the pretense of a person. How do you avoid doing this again?
You don't meet people on the internet, stick to real life for your love life.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (15 July 2011):
 You asked me how I know he was after sex?
It's simple. An 18-21 year old typically aren't rich enough to pull off a money fraud scam, and if he were really interested in you as a person, he would want you to get to know the real him.
He wants someone young and hopefully virginal, which is why he pretended to be 18. Had he come to you with his real age, you would have probably avoided him. He exploited your emotional neediness to be able to get where he wanted to be.
This is only for sex. He wants sex with someone young enough to be his daughter.
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female
reader, BrokenSky +, writes (15 July 2011):
BrokenSky is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni couldn't stop reading ur advice Irish49
rlly thnx ...
just 1 thing i dont know why when they call him pedo ... i feel like it hurt ...he was my lover ... i still have feelings for him .. as i said love cant stop in 1 day .. theres no button we click to stop love ...love can take days to grow and can take ages to fade out..
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A
female
reader, BrokenSky +, writes (15 July 2011):
BrokenSky is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIrish49
i like how u undrestand this 18 girl still building her life and learning from her mistakes
thnx for this :"I know you are 18 and learning about life"
one day ill be a woman and ill laugh about this days :)
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A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (15 July 2011):
 Hello,
He is a very creepy person. Delete and block everything that moves. You do not know anything about him. It all could be a web of stories. Please delete and block.
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A
female
reader, Irish49 +, writes (15 July 2011):
Seems like you have been well advised by the below Aunts! Great comments. Just had to add my two cents. This whole scenario you are experiencing is disturbing. Sexual predators pretend to love notoriously. This is how they operate. He used deception and manipulation to hook you. Predators reel in innocent people all for their own selfish gain. And when they do this, they minimize/dehumanize their victims from whom they want nothing but thrills and sexual perks.
So we know this jerk is a predator and he hooked you into his world of deception and manipulation. Just keep remembering, the internet is rife with these aggressive sexual predators. It's such a terrifying, widespread problem. And a person needs to be smart when interacting on the net!
However, my concern is you. He destroyed your dreams of happiness..your whole life? Why are claiming to love someone you have never met face to face? I would say you could be simply infatuated...but certainly not in love. You need to work on yourself, stop being vulnerable and falling for nice words and romantic notions. That is all it is...words! Action speaks louder here...spending time, one on one with a person..touching them, watching their body language, laughing. You need to know the difference between love and infatuation. I know you are 18 and learning about life, but realize this: Online love does not exist, especially when you have never met the other person. It's simply impossible.
True love is spending a remarkable amount of time with someone, face to face and building a relationship where there is mutual respect, trust, committment and loyalty to each other. Now, step away from the computer, contact some good friends and get out there and live life, happily, in the real world. Who knows...real love may come your way sooner than you think. And I am happy to hear you quit drinking..that is an emotional crutch and was the start of an alcoholic problem, if you were to continue. Keep on the healthy track here.
Good luck and take care of number one...you!
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A
female
reader, BrokenSky +, writes (15 July 2011):
BrokenSky is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits exactly what im doing Trisha
we make mistakes but we learn from our mistakes
the poof that im listening to the lesson .. i stoped talk to him and i stoped drinking a....
a CUTE comments form Nice ppl can make my day
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 July 2011):
Why don't you start by listing the lessons you have learned from this?
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A
female
reader, BrokenSky +, writes (15 July 2011):
BrokenSky is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthnx Trisha
yes i need help from mature ppl cuz dad is a political man and he travel a lot and mom always in clinic cuz shes sick ..the help im looking for is just some comments that can make me feel better
i dont need a doctor or anything else ..u can see im strong enough cuz i resisted all of this for months without anyone help or know..
i need just cool ppl undrestand and share my pain
rlly ur words r so helping and it makes me stronger
plz keep on helping me..just by a comment ...
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A
female
reader, BrokenSky +, writes (15 July 2011):
BrokenSky is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthnx all for the answers
Trrisha thnx but i can manage myself , i resisted all of this for months and after every shock .. i fell .. but i fall standing and i continue ..im not that weak its just some trouble and ill get over it .. i already stoped drinking :)
Person1234 , thnx but i dont think i will call police , yes i hate all what he did but i still love him ..idk love cant stop in one day .. theres no button to click to stop love .. it takes days ..i'll be good ..
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (15 July 2011):
 cut all contact.
simple.
then the trigger for your drinking will not be there.
this experience should tell you that the internet is not always safe when it comes to finding love.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 July 2011):
 You, my dear, have found yourself an online sexual predator. These are people who seek out young women and men on the internet, gain their trust, and manipulate them into meeting up with them. These people are usually masters at manipulation, so don't believe for a second he truly loves you or truly wants to be with you. I don't mean to be too harsh, but this man views you as prey (or as some have called it a target). Please cut off all contact IMMEDIATELY with this man. Block him, ignore him, and if he continues you should contact the police to make sure he can't target you or other young women again.
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (15 July 2011):
 The simplest thing to do here is cut off contact with him - so delete his phone number, block his emails, facebook, your gaming account...whatever you need to do to stop him from contacting you, then do it.
If he cant send you messages anymore he cant hurt you anymore, so please, delete all of his contact details and block him from contacting you.
He is a horrible man, chances are he is using the internet to find young impressionable girls like yourself and through his lies he gets them hooked, and then turns on them like he has with you. Men like this are very dangerous and have many psychological problems - none of this is your fault, you have just been a victim of an awful man who knows there are lots of girls on the internet like you who are young, naieve and wanting love.
Simply cut off contact with him and block his messages, never speak to him again and in time you will heal and move on. If he cant send you messages then with any luck he cant hurt you anymore, so you will stop drinking alcohol too.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 July 2011):
Oh, and you have met a sexual predator. That is who he is and that is all you need to know about him. There's no point in dissecting his each and every word and action. It was all all lies from a sexual predator.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 July 2011):
You let him into your life, now it's up to you to protect yourself. If you can't manage by yourself, get help from family and friends or call your doctor. Call Alcoholics Anonymous and go to a meeting if you are having problems with drinking or go to a therapist or counselor.
If you are this distraught and completely unable to cope, you have to get local, practical help from trained people. Are you in France?
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female
reader, BrokenSky +, writes (15 July 2011):
BrokenSky is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthnx for ur answer ...
mom is helping me .. she is sick but she try to do her best to help me ... i try to stop alcohool but evrytime i receive a msg from him telling so bad words ... i go down .. he is good at destrying me ..
can't u see how much i resisted all of this?
but he keep on destroying me ... i gave him love and all he gave me is lie and pretend and hurting words
but how u knew he want me to come just for sex?
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (15 July 2011):
Hold it. He lied to you. Cut him off! He's not a true person, and if you continue to have anything to do with him, you are in trouble! He cannot destroy your dreams unless you let him. He misrepresented himself on the internet, which unfortunately is all too common.
The man you fell in love with does not exist. This 44-year old Ahmed is not the one you fell in love with. Stop drinking alcohol now.
Also, why the hell are you worried about offending this guy? He is a liar! Block him and cut off all of his words to you. His words are utterly and completely worthless, as he is worthless.
Finally, why do men lie about their age like that? You were a mark. A mark is a target. His target with you was to get you away from your family and have sex with him. He partially revealed himself to you because if you were going to meet, you would have seen the real him, not his lie. He thought he had you hooked enough so that it wouldn't matter to you that he lied.
Well, it does matter. No guy who wants an honest, real life relationship starts off with such a profound lie. He lied about his name, his age, and his appearance. Get away as fast as you can if you value your life and your future. And PUT DOWN THE BOTTLE. You should be counting yourself fortunate that you found out what he really was before meeting him and putting yourself in danger!
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