A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know this isn't exactly a relationship question and probably comes across as pretty stupid but I'd really appreciate some advice on it as everyone I know doesn't have the experience to answer.In a couple of months I'll be going to university in a city. All my life I've lived in the country in the middle of nowhere. It's the sort of place where you really can leave your door unlocked and not worry and the worst crime in the history of the village is a bike being stolen by kids. So I have no idea what to expect or what's safe and what's over cautious. When I move, there's a few sports and interest groups I want to join but money's tight so I can't afford to be getting buses/taxis all the time (and the nearest bus stop is about a 10 min walk anyway and only runs until about 8pm). So what times are safe to be walking out on my own? The places I want to go are around a 20 min walk, mostly on the main roads. I don't have any friends there and I'm house sharing with complete strangers so I can't really ask anyone to go with me.Also in the UK you're not allowed to have anything on you that you can defend yourself with, so no pepper spray or anything else. You would even get a warning for carrying deodorant if you couldn't make up a convincing story. So that's also worrying me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2011): Hi good luck in your new adventure don't worry too much, but quite sensible to be aware of certain things. In a lot of uk universities students are given rape alarms (or were given a few years ago) just as a tool for peace of mind for young women/ men on their own in a new place, quite natural to feel uneasy at first.In time you will make lots of new friends , who actually feel the same as you and this is where you all stick together. I carry all sorts of sprays not for this reason, but just a girl thing....carry perfume? Use your common sense and if a certain place or person makes you feel uneasy, go and stand next to a group of people. Any concerns you have can be discussed with welfare officers in the university and they can and will guide you in what NOT to do or places to go alone. As a general thought if you go out on the town , when drinking, go easy... so you know what you are doing and don't leave drinks unatended, take them with you so no body can spike your drink. Always walk home with a friend after a night on the town or get a taxi or ask to share a taxi with other girls. I am not trying to scare you but just saying be sensible. Above all... this should end up been a great life experience for you and special friendship's that may last forever. A good idea is to pair up asap with another student and in the day time go exploring.Curious where about, which city? Spunky Monkey
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2011): Your concerns are understandable, and it's really great that you're thinking through these issues.
However, I would urge you not to worry too much. Student settlements tend to be in fairly good, safe areas of town - and students tend to stick together a lot! Not only will there will be people around your halls of residence until pretty late (much to the chagrin of the local residents!!) but you'll tend to go out in large groups anyway (often sharing taxis).
Also, bear in mind that many students' unions have a night bus service, especially for female students!
If you are by yourself, bear in mind that, while walking down well lit main roads, you're unlikely to get any trouble. I've lived in many UK cities, including some fairly mean areas of London, and their reputation is far, far worse than the actuality. I've always walked a LOT by myself, even late at night, and never had a problem - my friends do too, and it's the same for them. Bear in mind that the crowded nature of the city also means that people feel that they can't just get away with anything!
There are some things you can do to reassure yourself. Do buy a guide to the city and read up to find out whether there are any rough areas that might be worth avoiding at night (it's highly unlikely that these will be anywhere need the kind of areas you'll be going, which will be thronging with students!). Do make sure that any cabs you take are properly licensed. Don't get blindly drunk if you know you're going to have to walk back by yourself. Don't flash around lots of cash or expensive mobile phones late at night. And maybe carry a rape alarm if that makes you feel better. I would suggest avoiding weapons on two grounds: firstly, in the very unlikely event that you do get trouble, anything you use might also be used against you by a stronger, faster attacker. You don't want to be supplying people with stuff to use against you! Secondly, you can simply become TOO paranoid about stuff if you're constantly ready for an attack! Really, honestly - relax and enjoy yourself- you're going to have a lot of fun!
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (14 July 2011):
 I dont know who has told you about not being able to carry deodorant in the UK, that is complete nonsense! My friends and I take deodorant out with us all the time on nights out and have never been once stopped for this, even when having a bag check in a club (I am from the UK). You can carry whatever you want, a knife or gun would be taking it too far but you can have pepper spray if you want, chances are you would run off after an incident anyway so no-one would be able to tell you were the one who used the pepper spray.
Perhaps try getting a rape alarm? These can go on your keyring and are very loud so they would work well if you got into trouble.
As for walking alone - not a good idea in the dark, but any other times are fine. Short walks (10 mins or less) will be ok in the dark as long as you are careful and stick to well lit areas. But any longer walks than that I would get the bus. Buses are not expensive for students, just buy a term bus pass and you can use it 24/7 on whatever bus you want. Nice and easy, saves you money and keeps you safe.
Also - you are going to be making new friends, and chances are you will make friends with at least 1 person from your house, so they may be happy to join the same club, or might be going out too etc so you can walk together. or you might make friends with someone at the club and they may live close by so you can walk with them too.
Dont worry too much - I went to uni in a very large city and now live in an even bigger one, I walked home at 5am on a few occasions (I dont recommend that!) and nothing bad has ever happened. Yes you get the odd story of someone being mugged, but overall cities are still pretty safe and you dont have much to worry about.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 July 2011):
 There is not a law that means you cannot carry pepper spray in the UK. So you can carry that if it makes you feel better. You are also allowed to carry deodorant there is no law against that either and nothing or nobody can say any different. Also there are alarms that you can get and you can press if you are in trouble and it will alert people near by that you are in trouble. It's called a rape alarm.
I understand that you are going to be worried about moving to a city for the first time. Off course you are. But you will soon get used to it and you will make friends quite easily. Just be cautious and always hold on tight to your bag and possessions. If you see anyone looking suspicious try and cross the road out of there way. It wont take you long to get used to it. Also cities are usually quite crowded so just avoid going down quiet roads just stick to the main roads where there are plenty of other people about and also I wouldn't go out walking on your own once it gets dark.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict  +, writes (14 July 2011):
 Try in the mornings if you're a morning person. No one would be stupid enough to try to attack you when there are people around trying to get to work and doing what they have to and if you do ever get attacked, there will most likely be plenty of witnesses to help you.
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