A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:im 16 and i want to have a baby me and my partner been together some years now and im ready to have a bby i know a baby comes with alot of expenses but we both are working and he's a senior and im a junior. and we have a lot of money saved up because were going to get an aprartment. should we try for a baby?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): Don't do it! I was 16 when I got pregnant and I thought I wanted the baby too. I worked and was in the 11th grade, I thought my BF was going to take care of us...NOT! I will never regret my child, but if I could do it all over again I would. Please just wait to have a baby. I have a few friends that had babies young and they all feel the same way. I can't do anything or go anywhere. While people were going to parties and jumping in the lake during the summer I was stuck at home fat and pregnant. And after I had the baby trying to go to school was torture. I finished, but I'm the only one our of 3 other friends I had that were in the same boat. It was too hard for them. I never have any money for myself. Even if I can get a babysitter I never have the money to pay that person. It really sucks sometimes. Not to mention my baby's father is a real piece of work. He never does anything for me and never really did because he was young too and didn't have to carry the baby. While he was out having a grand ol' time I was inside being pregnant or too tired because I was up all night feeding a baby. We argue constantly and we are not together anymore. He loves his daughter, but he was young too and neither one of us expected it to be this hard. And I firmly believe we would still be together or at least friends if we didn't have a baby. It made us grow up too fast and we had to make sacrifices we didn't want to make or realize we had to make. Just wait. Trust me you will be thankful later. Get a puppy.
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female
reader, Battista  +, writes (7 July 2011):
When you've spent your money on an apartment, which you and your bf will of course need when you have the baby, how are you going to afford to bring up the child?
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (7 July 2011):
 One word - NO. DO NOT TRY FOR A BABY.
In terms of health, here is why having a child under the age of 20 is a bad idea:
- Teenage mothers are less likely to gain adequate weight during their pregnancy, leading to low birthweight. Low birthweight is associated with several infant and childhood disorders and a higher rate of infant mortality (death). Low-birthweight babies are more likely to have organs that are not fully developed, which can result in complications, such as bleeding in the brain, respiratory distress syndrome, and intestinal problems.
- Pregnant teens have a higher risk of getting high blood pressure - called pregnancy-induced hypertension - than pregnant women in their 20s or 30s. They also have a higher risk of preeclampsia. This is a dangerous medical condition that combines high blood pressure with excess protein in the urine, swelling of a mother's hands and face, and organ damage.
Aside from putting your health at risk and your unborn child's health at risk, here are the other issues that you need to consider:
1. Are you in a stable, long term relationship where the chances are you will get married in the near future? You might have been with your boyfriend for a year or two but at your age this is not enough - your life will change so much between the age of 16 and 22 that you cannot be certain your relationship will last.
2. Do you own or rent a house big enough to have a child? The answer here is NO! You cant expect your mum and dad to help you out here and let you live at home with your baby, they already have one child (you!), they dont want another! And you cant expect the government to bail you out either. To raise a child properly you need a nice home of your own so you can bring the child up in a happy, clean and comfortable environment that he or she can call home. Stuck in your bedroom in your parents house is not a good home for a child. If you spend the money you have saved on the child, then you cant get an apartment now can you?!
3. Do you have a good career with future prospects? Again, lets guess what the answer is for you - NO!! You havent even finished school, where on earth do you think the money is going to come from to raise this child? You need a good job that pays well to raise a child, otherwise you wont be able to feed him/her properly, clothe them, buy toys, take them on days out, pay for doctors etc....you will be struggling for every dollar and wont be able to provide for your child.
6. Do you have a car? Bet the answer is NO again! How do you expect to get around with your child? Do you think your mum and dad are going to act as a taxi service for you and the baby? What if your mum and dad are out and you need to get to the doctors or the hospital if the baby is ill? Without a car you will be stuck at home, wont be able to take the baby for more than a walk around the block and if there is an emergency you will be stuck.
7. Do you have some savings ready to fork out the initial costs of having a child? Like buying all the things you need in preparation for a child? Have you thought about how much a child costs? It is estimated around $100,000 until the age of 18 - where are you going to get that kind of money from? If you have a small amount of money saved for an apartment, this is still nowhere near enough to raise a child and fork out for everything up front.
8. Do you have a supportive family network around you? As much as your mum and dad might help you, they might also disown you for getting pregnant at such a young age - what happens then? You cant rely on your parents to sort everything out for you and you can just sit there happy as larry holding the baby - unless you can provide for yourself then there is no way you can provide for a baby.
9. Are you ready to give up going out with friends, having any money to buy clothes/make-up etc for yourself? All for the baby? You will have no time or money for yourself so you need to be ready to give up a lot for this child.
Think about it this way - you want to give your child the best life you possibly can, but is this possible at your age? Or would you be able to provide more for your child, like educational toys, days out, more knowledge and wisdom, a better family environment, if you waited a few years?
The reason why most people wait until they are in their 20's to have kids is so they can finish their educations, get good jobs that pay well (children are SO expensive), and more importantly - so that you are wise enough and knoweldgeable enough to raise a child well. When the child comes to you asking for help with its homework, or wants to know some deep question about life, normally you need a good amount of life experience behind you to really give your child the knowledge and values it needs to set them up in life. And if you have not lived, and all you have done is quit school to have a child, you are not going to be able to give it the rounded, knowledgeable childhood it needs to turn the child into a well-rounded adult.
Think about if you are in a position to give the child the best life possible, or if you need to get your life sorted first. There is never any harm in waiting, if you have a child at 23/25 you will still be a young mum but at least you will be in a better place in life to handle having a child.
Having a baby now will not make your life better - it will only make it worse. You will have no money, no friends, and no future. The baby wont show its love for you for a few years - at first it is just a pooping, eating and sleeping machine that is only interested in the people that feed it. Love is not enough for a child - it needs the support of 2 adults (mum and dad) who are mentally and emotionally ready for a child and the hardship it brings. You cannot give the child all it needs on love alone, a baby needs so much more.
If you really want to be a mum, then surely you will want to be a good mum right? And aged 16, even aged 17, 18 or 19 you CANNOT be a good mum. You cannot offer the child everything it needs, therefore you would be damaging the child. You can love it as much as you want - children need a heck of a lot more than just love alone.
What you are feeling is normal, a lot of teenagers have this issue (search dear cupid and you will see) - the reason you feel like this is because your hormones are running riot and telling you that you are ready for a baby. Once you have started your periods, your body thinks it is ready for a baby hence it releases lots of hormones that make you think about having babies. But this does not mean it is a good idea - quite the opposite!
You should not let hormones dictate your life, your brain is the sensible part here and you need to be sensible about this. You simply cannot give a child a good life, therefore wait until you are old enough when you can give a child a good life.
The key thing here is - if you cant provide for yourself (i.e. look after yourself totally independent from your parents) then you cannot provide for and care for a baby. Once you have moved out, got a job, a car, some savings.....etc then you can have baby. Until that day - you are not ready and you would only be hurting your child if you were silly enough to have a baby.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (7 July 2011):
i wouldnt have a baby at 16 that is way to young and it comes with a lot of responsibility you wouldnt be able to go out with your friends anymore wouldnt be able to get yourself a career theres sleepless nights everything you need for a baby which is a lot i know ive got a 2 and a half year old son
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): Let me tell you now, if you get pregnant I gaurantee your boyfriend will be gone within the year as the pressure will be too much- that's me talking from experience. I was 18 having my son and his father was gone within 3 years simply because he missed girls and beer!
That's the imaturity rant over now let me warn you about the financial impact, though you say you have savings for an apartment, you need a lot more to set you up for a long time because you won't be working for a good while and you'll need a steady regular income for not just the apartment but food/milk/nappies etc 'some savings' is not good enough I'm afraid. And what about your freedom? Because when u have a baby your life is there's. You can't just get up ans go out when you feel like it.
My strong advice to you is make a career, go travelling and do everything you want to do before thinking of reproducing. Then in 10 years or more if your boyfriend is still around, get married, get a place of your own, makesure you have a steady job and then try for babies. That's me talking from experience!
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female
reader, LaughAlot2010 +, writes (7 July 2011):
 Girlll I'm 14 and I want a baby! But I am NOT going to ruin my future for something that can wait when I'm older and wiser. You have your future ahead of you! Dont you want to go to college?,marry someone? I dont know about you but I do! Just pleaseee dont be stupid!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): ummm no cause what about your college you want that cause more money and money to life.... watch 16 and pregent
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (7 July 2011):
 Wanting a baby is your hormones talking, part of the natural changes taking place in your body.
Ignore them for now, you are better off waiting a few more years to get a little more experience of life behind you. Travel or study while you can, this is the time of life where we are able to explore all sorts of avenues and experiences, you will be a more rounded person and your future children will also benefit from having parents who have lived a little before they settled down.
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (7 July 2011):
 Definitely not. You don't need a baby right now, trust me, you may think you are mature, you may think you are ready but you aren't. There are people far older than you who have their first child and realize that they were unprepared so it is best that you wait until you have given YOURSELF a chance to grow a little more, so you know what you want. Give your boyfriend a chance to grow as well. At this general stage in life, you're prone to large changes in life and that isn't a good place for a baby to be born into.
Think of it this way, when you've grown a little older, you'll have experience enough to help guide your child through life.
I hope that helps.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): I would wait till you are both graduated, and if you are planning on it going through college. I know the temptation is strong, but you need to realize that it is better for the baby if you graduate, because then you will be more successful. I know the wait will be long and hard, but please do so for the babies sake, not yours.
Also, if you have baby fever real bad try raising a puppy together, it's not the same, but you will still have to decide together how to raise it, what to feed it, what tricks and manners the dog should have. That will be good experience for when you need to make similar decisions for a baby.
Best of luck
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