A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi agony aunts and uncles, i hope you can give me some advice on this problem i have, i always come to this site for advice, it might be nothing, but from a outside view you will be able to tell me if i am being silly or it needs addressing.I am in LDR been together over 2 years now. We are committed and loyal to each other, see each other as best we can. I have a child and so does he, they do get on but have their differences which stops us at the moment to all move in together as a family. At the moment his child plays with another mum's child in his town, which i didn't mind at first, and i have actually met this mum. She seems nice, she is married with kids of her own, but it seems to be becoming a regular thing, the kids going to each others house to play cause they get on so so well. My man doesn't stay; he just takes his child to her house on his way back from being at some class his child does, and drops his child off at her house. same the other way but he picks her child up on the way back from taking his child to the class she attends, but now i am wondering is she coming on to my man? Is this her way of getting her claws into my man? She also walks home with my man's mum odd time from school with the kids, and with them getting on so so well, i have not said anything to my man of how i am feeling about this. I am just hoping its the kids play she is interested in and not my man, cause with me been parted from him at weeks at a time it upsets me, cause i start to think things.I did ask him if they were taking turns to have each others kids now, he said no not really. He told me it gives him a break, cause with them playing so good together, he doesn't have to moan about anything, which upsets me in a way cause i wish my child could play as good as that with his child, but she is a little bit hyper and gets silly, but she is a lovely girl not nasty not a bully but has a different personality to his child. We would probably all move in together if my child got on as well as the other mums child, as we are planning to. Whether it will ever happen i dont know, but what do you think: is she after my man, or is it just the kids playing and they are both getting a break each time they take each other's child? Am i being silly or do i ask him is she interested in you, and are you interested in her, they would make the perfect couple with the perfect kids but she is married. Let's hope she is happilly married. I am worried: i dont want to ever lose my man, he has told me in the past of the two years of being together that he loves me to bits and has no worries of him ever leaving me and wants a future with me. Do i just go on that, or do i need to keep a eye on her? Any advice please...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2011): THANKS FOR YOUR REPLYS and your so tru to what you say, i have had good think about it myself, and i do feel i have nothing to worry about, but its always good to get another persons view and especially on the outside, thanks for making me feel so better, i might just mention it to him but not make a thing of it, and make sure he dont have coffes with her, he did say while they play he can have a powernap on his sofa, so if he says that then he must be at his own home, and yes your right i am jelous, its not nice i cant be with him, but hops one day we will be when the kids adapt to lving together thanks.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (19 July 2011):
 Starxxx is 100% right - this is just jealousy because you want to be able to move in with him but the children are stopping you at present.
I dont think she is interested in your man at all, you honestly have nothing to be worried about. The kids play together - your man doesnt even spend any time with this woman, he just drops off the kids and goes off to do his own thing. If they were having coffee while the kids were playing, or spending time at each other's houses then that would be worrying - but that is not the case so try and relax!
Some kids just get on better than others, and it so happens that his child gets on well with hers, so they will want to play together a lot (kids are always asking if they can see their friends) so to have an option where you can just drop your child off and have a bit of time to yourself is always a good one!
If you really cant stop thinking about this and if it is still causing you to worry then speak to your partner, I'm sure he can reassure you.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Star xxx +, writes (19 July 2011):
 I can see where you are coming from as you are not there to keep a subtle eye on it but here's what you said and i'm not being rude but often we dont actually see what we have written.
1. The kids get on great
2. They drop the children off and do their own thing.
3. She is married.
I think maybe there is a bit of jealousy there (understandably), as your children not getting on so well is kinda hindering the relationship moving forward but i dont think you need to worry, you know about everything so that is i think a good indication that there is nothing other than friends helping each other out going on and we all know as mothers how much easier it is when your child has someone else to keep them occupied rather than them hanging off us.
Take care xx
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