A
male
age
30-35,
*3puremage1
writes:HI everyone, I am back to here again asking for some help. This year I have moved into a new school and tried to move on from my past experience with a girl who was my best friend(at least from my point of view). But somehow I find it difficult to get out of that shadow. I have been trying to make myself to move on by working madly because it keeps me busy and I need to for my uni application. But somehow when I am slightly less busy I would thought of her, which I know is 'unhealthy'. There is a girl who likes or fancy me, which is something that I should be happy but I could not feel a sense of happiness at all. Why? In this new school, I feel extremely pressured as everyone is expecting me to perform the best because they think I am smart. But the truth is I am not as smart as they had expected. I feel extremely lonely since I am new to this school and find it very hard to fit in. People take me in as a normal friend only. I have never been invited to a higher level, which is understandable. I am new. In short, I am tired of progressing further on even though I need to since I feel there is heavy weight in my heart. What should I do??
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male
reader, 83puremage1 +, writes (15 April 2012):
83puremage1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthx for your help. Both of you have given me some inspirational ideas and seriously thx :)
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 April 2012):
 You can only do your best, so don't try and be someone that you are not, being smart does not mean you will be liked, but trying to be someone you are not is not a good thing, it adds pressure and stress to you as a person and then you think back to how your life used to be and you think about your friend and off course you are going to miss that.
It is hard when you need to start fresh but you just need to make the best off what you have now and try and get over the past. Maybe you are not ready to be in a relationship with anyone at the moment, and that's fine, there is no rush just try and settle in at the new place and make friends. Maybe you could make the first move and ask a few people would they like to all get together to hang out or something. Find out what people your age in that area do in there spare time and maybe you can organise a night out. As for this girl that likes you try and look at it as a compliment but if you are not interested in her then tell her you just want to be friends. You need to show people the real you.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 April 2012):
 You are just leaving that shadow and moving on from your best friend. Your new life has to start somewhere. Why don't you give this new girl a chance. Just talk and get to know her a bit? See if she can understand the real you, and not what other people expect you to be.
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