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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Before we have sex with my girlfriend, during foreplay I tend to release significant amount of precum. Sometimes it drops on her or touches her and she thinks that it is disgusting and gets her out of the mood a little. I don't want to wear the condom all the time during foreplay because that might get her out of the mood as well, neither do I want to check it with my hand if it drops all the time. What is your suggestion in this issue? Thanks in advance...
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condom, foreplay, precum Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2012): I don't think it is a case for therapist, we can figure it out somehow i think. Thanks for the answers people.
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (16 April 2012):
 She may want to see a therapist. Sounds less like she has a problem with precum and more like she has some serious guilt around having sex (signs may include excessive need for cleanliness during/after and an aversion to any sign of bodily fluids).
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2012): Yes, she is very quick with cleaning and drying it right away. I try to keep clean as much as possible as well. Also it is hard to convince her for me to go down on her. Sometimes she enjoys it a lot, sometimes she doesn't want it at all.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (15 April 2012):
Of course you can ask for oral sex. Just don't do that thing where you shove on her head. I've had guys do that to me in the past and it makes me want to bite them. Given how much she hates precum, she might be more willing to give oral sex if it was as foreplay rather than to completion (I'd imagine she's not crazy about semen).
Though again, I'm really struggling to imagine precum being such a turnoff. It's really big turn on for me, lets me know he's enjoying himself. I even think it tastes good. It's a bit like a guy saying he gets turned off when his girlfriend gets wet.
Does she maybe have some kind of religious something that would make her want to keep sex as "clean" as possible? Is she very quick to shower immediately after?
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A
female
reader, someone.1081  +, writes (15 April 2012):
i think precums are not that bad first if she really want to enjoy sex to the fullest its a minor stuff to being snaped out of it . and its not only guys who are fliudy girls also are fluidy. one thing i know when ever i do the foreplay with my bf i get wet also and it eases the friction so rather try to consider the pro part. if ur intimate enouph with ur bf u shouldnt mind it because what about ur fliuds? its all about exchanging fliuds as the others pionted it out.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2012): I thought it was not kind to ask ladies to go down on you. She goes down on me rarely. I do enjoy oral with her but she won't let me go down on her that much either. Only if the mood is right but I never know when it is...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2012): I'm going to put a slightly different spin on this seeing as I get a hell of a lot of precum even from just holding my girlfriend. It doesn't matter if it gets her out of the mood "a little" as long as she keeps on doing it. You can have a towel nearby so she can wipe every now and again.
Who cares if she likes it or not as long as she likes pleasing you? I've had girlfriends that didn't exactly like having a penis in their mouth but they still gave blow jobs. It was then up to me to return the favour and get them back in the mood.
She hasn't said she's going to stop doing it because of that has she? And there is literally no way in hell you can stop yourself precumming, so there's no problem really.
When a girl knows a guy is going give her amazing head or has just given her amazing head she'll return the favour and a bit of precum isn't going to stop her.
So don't worry about it, it's not really an issue because she'll get used to it, if she doesn't and stops pleasuring you as a result then you may just be sexually incompatible I'm no expert on other guys sexually but as far as I know most of us precum, so it's something she has to get used to if she wants to have any kind of mutually fulfilling sexlife.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (14 April 2012):
 Is she new at this?? Sex is about all those wonderful fluids all over the place, starting with the spit-swapping glory known as deep kissing!
Does she give you oral sex? If she's squeamish about your pre, might I suggest training wheels? Things such as chocolate syrup or whipped cream or fruit juices can make things fun, take her mind off of the pre, and be a blast for you too!
Before you laugh about your member being turned into a hot fudge sundae, it works! Once those training wheels come off and she's going after your unadulterated nakedness, those days of squeamishness will be long gone.
I must say though -- if she's not willing to even try being adventurous, then it's a compatibility issue, and you'll have to make decisions based on whether or not you can live without that sort of sexual fun.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2012): Well she does not mind touching it but she doesn't like it on an other place of her body I could say. There is not much oral going on with us as well, very rarely. I like it of course but I won't put any pressure. I never ask for it although i like it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 April 2012):
 It's ok for HER to be wet when aroused but not you? Explain to her WHY your body produces precum..
I think the has other issues with sex besides from the precum.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (14 April 2012):
Precum is a normal bodily fluid and sometimes, like her own, it gets on her. Does she also find it disgusting when her own fluids get on things? Do you? It's a little hard for me to imagine this being a turn off since it's a sign of a guy enjoying something. I don't mean to be too insensitive, but bodily fluids being around is something she needs to get used to if she plans to continue having sex. Sex is sometimes messy, it's just life. If you ever switch to a non-barrier method, it's going to be far more "disgusting" than a little pre-cum on things.
The only thing you really can do is to wear your underwear until it's time to actually have sex. But perhaps you should try a bit of desensitization around this, like have her touch it and such in a non-sexual setting to realize it's really not a disgusting thing.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 April 2012):
 I like precum because it shows how turned on a guy is. I like to lick it. It's more neutral tasting than real cum. You need to let her know how this is making you feel. She makes it sound like sex is a dirty thing. You shouldn't have to feel that it's your fault that you are putting her off. Sex is about exchanging body fluids. If she has a problem with precum she will have a problem with real cum. Think about it, it means no blowjobs, no handjobs, no 69 and the only thing you could do with her is kissing, hide and wipe, put on a condom and have sex, then pull it out then wipe again. That would put you out of the mood too, wouldn't you? I would see if she could get used to it. After a certain time if she is still disgusted by it it could mean you are not compatible. There are men who only drips a droplet of precum and there are girls like me who like precum.
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