A
female
age
36-40,
*ovemeright11
writes:I feel so bad and guilt because I found out my bf's password for facebook and chose to log into it today and I looked at a conversation that he had with one of his male friends the most recent person he talked too. So I found something I did not like which is that he got hit on by a bunch of women today and then said if one of the women jumped him sexually who knows if he would have been able to stop the girl from performing sexual acts. His friend agreed he would have the same problem. So the thing is I feel guilty for logging in, but mad because of what I found, so how do I approach this situation? I feel that I should be honest and tell him what I did first. I am sure he will be upset, but I just hope he will be understanding of me actually telling him the truth. Then I think I want to bring up what I saw and really question if he would let a girl give him oral if she tried. It hurts to read that , but at the same time I feel guilt. Please help me.
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female
reader, Lovemeright11 +, writes (14 April 2012):
Lovemeright11 is verified as being by the original poster of the question well I tried my best to ask him if anything crazy happened on friday, but he would not tell me about the incident that I saw on his facebook. I have not logged in again and will not again, but I guess I will just have to let it all go.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2012): As a twenty-something male who has never cheated on a girl, I can say that this was just guy talk. Don't bring it up to him and don't log into his facebook anymore. If I were him and you made an issue out of this after sneaking into my Facebook, I would break up with you on the spot.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 April 2012):
 I think your BF and his friend are bragging a little. It's not like hot chicks come out of left and right and JUMP them...
Chill and stop snooping.
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (14 April 2012):
Its not likely that some woman is just going to "jump on him". That sort of thing happens to a rare few men.
He's getting flattered from some attention from other women.
When men talk, they say "Oh yeah, I would definitely do her" and all sorts of crap like that. And yes, I am a man and I have spoken like that. I still never cheated on any gf and have been faithful to my wife of 10 yrs.
We all have the right to think what we want. He crossed the line a little bit by saying it to a friend (and saying things vs thinking things has a distinction).
Now if he gets into a conversation about PLANNING to do something to cheat on you, that is a different story.
You can go on and on about all these "what if" situations. Its important to know what someone is intending vs a simple fantasy.
I wouldn't go into this at all if I were you, unless you feel so guilty that you think the guilt will ruin your relationship.
He did nothing wrong.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 April 2012):
 You have to realize that if a bunch of hot guys hit on you a thought like this would come through your mind too, the desire is in you also so it goes both ways. It is all guy talk, what is his friend going to say, is he going to say no, I am whipped to my girlfriend and it is a sin to be fantasize about other women?
You don't have to tell him you logged on to his facebook. You can initiate a general topic of fantasy vs monogamous relationship without pointing a finger. You can say that while fantasies are normal, one should not indulge in them and act like you are single in a relationship. If the thought of other people occupy your mind so much that you can't focus on the relationship, perhaps that person should be single and have casual sex to get it out of the system before committing to one person.
If I were you I would not log into his facebook again. See him as who he is. You should base your decision to be with him on how he treats you and how devoted he is to you, and not what he talks about on facebook. For me I certainly have a preference of anti-facebook people. Here I am not justifying what he did at all. I am saying if you don't want to trust him or continue this, make a comment of what he did to you or not do to you when he's with you, but do not pry into his "private" conversation with his friends and make a problem out of it.
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