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female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm a 25 year old female and have been single for a long time. The longest relationship I had was for 3 months. I've got a best mate and have known him for 3 years. Over the past year we have been having an affair. He is married. We have both recently ended it as when I get drunk I tell him that I am hurting. We get on so well, both feel like we connect well. It's finished but I don't want it to be. I can't be his friend as it hurts me too much, but can't be without him. I want his wife to find out but I can't do that to him.Do I tell her in some way or get over this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2006): It's all been said.I am a wife who was so badly hurt in a situation like this I wonder if I will ever recover.I hurt hurt hurt..
A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (19 March 2006):
 Sorry to say this but how evil must you be? You want him to hurt as much as you? AND you want to hurt his wife and destroy his marriage just because you are hurting. Let him go. Let it all go and move on. He is married and you and him had no right to do what you did and I cannot feel sympathy for either of you only his wife. But hey, you want her to find out!! Why what exactly do you think this will achieve?
Of course you felt you cannected well. Your relationship was based on secrecy and a lie. Two ingredients designed to heighten the sense and cause euphoric feelings in some people and you both buzzed off it. Now he has come down to earth, seen it for what it was and has run back to his family with his tail between his legs. So you need to move on and let it go.
Next time you ahve a relationship have it with somebody who is available not an already taken man.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (19 March 2006):
 Your feelings don't matter in this case. You only care about yourself. Why don't you find a real man instead of a fickle cheater. Actually, maybe you should marry him, have kids and then see how it feels when he cheats on you. You're both living a lie and the only person who deserves better is his wife. Take a look in the mirror.
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A
female
reader, Starrla +, writes (19 March 2006):
 I know It's hard,but I think you should get over him Bec. think about it he's married,and You'll probley be better off.
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