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female
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anonymous
writes: i am having a relationship with a guy whose in a relationship and his girlfriend is 5 months pregnant. we are both 30 something and educated people, but i cant help it. he is so what i am looking for after a 7 year sham of a relationship what shall i do as i am falling for him Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2007): I am currently going through a similar situation in which my boyfriend has cheated on me, I am pregnant due in 40 days, and our youngest child is only a year old. I thought he loved me and he still trys to get back with me every day. All the while since I kicked him out of my home he has been spending time with this same girl I caught him cheating on me with. She knows about me and I don't know why she would even want a man like that. All I have to say is if he did it to her, don't think for second that he won't do it to you. Ever heard the saying what your cake and eat it too. Have more respect for yourself than that. Your the other woman. Duh!!!!!
A
female
reader, missbunbury  +, writes (16 March 2006):
 Think about this. Is he REALLY what you're looking for? When you picture your ideal man, is it the kind of guy who is willing to cheat on his pregnant girlfriend? I don't think so. This isn't really a relationship, you're the other woman here. Also, you seem to be deluding yourself when you say "I can't help it" - actually, you're in full control of your actions, so don't fall into the trap of thinking of your behaviour as beyond your own control. You may not be able to stop feeling the way you do, but you can certainly stop acting the way you are. Think of the poor girl who's having his baby, and try to muster up some female solidarity here. My best advice is to just leave this man alone, but if you absolutely refuse to do that, you at least need to stop letting him take advantage of both of his women, by refusing to do anything unless he makes a decision about who he wants to be with.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (15 March 2006):
 You are very selfish. You're going from one sham to another. If the first guy was a sham, this guy is a REAL prize. He sounds like a heartless person. What can you possibly see in a man who would do this to his pregnant partner.
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (15 March 2006):
 You are playing with fire and what you are doing is not very nice but you are not all to blame as it takes two tango.
The bloke you are seeing is a rat, he is in a relationship with a woman who loves him enough to have a baby with him, he is sleeping with you when you are on the rebound (yes you are!!) and as such is taking advantage of both of you.
He wants his cake and you are letting him have it, you are all over the place after your relationship break up or you would I hope not be doing what you are doing.
This man is a rat and you must see through this and finish with him, he maybe gods gift but there is no future with him and even if there was just think if he can cheat on a pregnant partner then he will surely do the same to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2006): What you have now...... is a sham of a relationship.
Your lover needs to grow up. You need to move on.
He's a liar and a cheat, not exactly a great catch is he ?
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A
female
reader, juliagulia +, writes (15 March 2006):
 I am sorry to have to say this, but I think you need to let him go. I know you have feelings for him, but he is already involved with someone and they have a child to think of now. Things are only going to get harder when the baby is born and his time is consumed by trying to be a good father. He most likely will not leave this woman anytime soon considering their situation and it will be even harder once he has a child to care for. You will most likely just get hurt by him. I think you need to move on to someone who can be there for you and can give you all of their attention, not just part-time. You also need to think of what all of this has made you -- the other woman. How would you feel if you were carrying someone's child and you found out they were having an affair with someone else? You would be devestated - just like she would if she ever found out. Do you really want to cause someone else that much pain that has never done anything to you? Stop this now before it gets to that point and find someone who is available.
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