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male
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anonymous
writes: I have been married for more years than I care to remember or let you know but, as far as sex is concerned, I am afraid of my wife. Even as far back as our honeymoon, we would only have sex 2/3 times a week and never in the 11 days a month she used to say she was on a period and I would never try to check - I used to believe her. Now, when she is well past the change, we have sex 2/3 times a month, at the very most. I want to have her pretty frequently but she always comes up with some reason why not - she's sore down there - it hurts - she's too dry and so on and so on. What I want is a darned different sex life to what I've had. What that used to be was her laying there while I made her come manually and then she would let me get on top of her and come myself. She would never do anything to me, never tell me whether she liked what I was doing and never came up with any reaction whatsoever. I am not exagerating, but my sex life has been the nearest thing possible to necrophilia with both parties still breathing. I am fed up with this. I want a lot more. I want to perform cunninlingus on her, I would like her to indulge in fellatio. I would like our sex to be fun. I want to be crude. I want to suck her tits till her nipples stick out like organ stops. I want to put my fingers inside her and find her G-Spot. But I just don't know how to do it, I just don't know how to talk to her about it and I just do not know how she would react if I tried.
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female
reader, GeorgyGirl +, writes (16 March 2006):
You're *afraid* of your wife??? If my husband was this angry and demanding with me, I think I'd be afraid of *them*!!What happened to romance? Intimacy? Kissing? Her needs and wants? The way you portray your sex life, it sounds like you keep a tally sheet by the bed, and that isn't healthy in any relationship!
A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (16 March 2006):
 You sound like an angry man. You also sound as if you acn be a little abusive and demanding if you dont get your own way.
Go back and re-read your letter.
Now tell me, were do your wife's wants and needs fit into this? All you say is *I want* and not once do you have an inkling of anything like compassion or love for your wife.
She may be dry and sore if she has gone thru the cahnge....hormonal issues can do that to a woman. She may just not want to have sex and that, you will have to learn, is her choice. You cannot demand or coerce her (as I think it sounds like you already do to some extent) as that is tantamount to rape.
You say you only have sex 2/3 times a week at first, that my friend is actually way above average. Now you have it 2/3 times a month....well d'ya know what, tough! Get over it, it isnt a competition. If you want more then romance your wife. Seduce her, buy her flowers, tell her she is beautiful and how much you love her. Stop treating her like some blow-up doll sex-toy inanimate object and your may get your hearts desire. Above all stop being so demanding and selfish. I wouldnt want sex with a guy who DEMANDED his rights.
Love her and show your love, and I dont just mean using the physical act of intercourse. She may then reciprocate.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2006): If anything your title made me laugh, which I have not done in ages. Long term marriages tend to get stale. You have to communicate with her to let her know, how you are REALLY feeling. It's great to know that a guy like you still fancies his wife after all those years instead of looking for someone else. Communicate and good luck!!!!
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (16 March 2006):
 What have you got to lose? Have you talked about it before. Maybe she needs to talk to somebody. Try to convince her how important it is toyou and see where you can go from there.
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