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male
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anonymous
writes: my boyfriend of 9 years who is 13 years older has been in the hospital for 2 months and will be in longer.How do I rationalize staying with him or moving on? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (15 March 2006):
 If you decide to leave him at this time, you'll always look like you're heartless. If the relationship was in trouble before, can't you atleast draw from the good memories long enough to be there for him. I imagine if it was that bad you wouldn't have been with him. You should provide us with more information because the amount you have given, makes you sound very shallow.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2006): This is a rather stupid question. Oops, am I being myself again? [cough]
I'm sure he will be quite upset that in his time of need, his beloved leaves him, but ultimately, you have to choose what you desire the most. If that includes hurting your man, then so be it. I am not saying he deserves it though.
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female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (15 March 2006):
 Not sure what you mean, why are you thinking of moving out and leaving this man in his hour of need.
You have not given enough info so I will have to assume that you are not prepared to look after him when he comes out of hospital, please let me know if this is wrong.
I am assuming that he has had a major health problem as he has been in so long, and so why do you want to leave, will your leaving not delay his recovery and cause him upset when he is at his most vulnerable and who will look after him at home.
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (15 March 2006):
 If you truly love this man, you have to stand by him whatever he goes through. People in true love don't bolt at the first sign of trouble, they stick together and get through whatever life throws at them.The fact that you wrote this tells me you are doubting your love for him and have wanted to leave him before but now feel guilty as he is in hospital. You have to think about others but also, you must ensure you are happy. Staying with someone for the wrong reasons is not the answer to anyones problems and will only cause more problems in the long run.I advise you to think long and hard about what you feel for this man. You can be there for him as a friend even if you realise you don't want to be with him anymore. He obviously needs your support at this time so get sorted, decide how you feel and whether you love him enough to get through this together. Good luck.
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