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male
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*hris b
writes: i met this woman who works in a club, we hit it off, and we've even had a lunch date. she calls me often, and she shows all the signs of atrraction. but can she be trusted if her job requires her to flirt with men? what do i do?
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male
reader, chris b +, writes (17 March 2006):
chris b is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthat really helps, thank you very much. i'll carefully consider your advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2006): Maybe you're being played like a pro... if you ever went to Thailand you would see similar guys to yourself crying as they leave their (paid) girlfriends at the check-in (thinking that *they* are somehow special), only for those same girls to hop straight into a cab and back out onto the circuit to play the next guy. That's their job, but they're also looking for marriage to western guys and they see that too as a business transaction.
Then again I might be wrong. Either way I wouldn't date a bar-girl. Trust your gut kid and good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2006): I used to live in Japan and had a lot of friends who worked as hostesses in bars. Flirting was their profession, and some made $10,000.00 a month getting guys to buy drinks. They had all sorts of stories about girls who had guys buying them cars, paying their mortgages, taking them shopping, etc. They would make a particular man feel special, really liked. They had these men wrapped around their fingers, and the men thought they really had a special relationship with these women. I guess they wanted to believe it was real.
I would say proceed with caution. A tricky woman would try to get you to sympathize with her in some way. "Poor me, I'm so vulnerable..." (only not so obvious). Then you would feel like the hero, rescuing her. First you're there for her, then you're supporting her family. The fact that she calls you often is one indicator that she's after you (little red flag, because most girls let the guy do the chasing).
I am making a lot of assumptions here. These are just things to consider, because that's the reality in the field she's in. If you're having a good time, you feel that her attraction for you is genuine, she doesn't hit you with sob stories or start hinting that you buy her things, then go with it. You'll have to just wait and see what kind of person she really is. Soon enough you'll find out.
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A
male
reader, chris b +, writes (17 March 2006):
chris b is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the feedback. however i think that my question needs to be clarified somewhat. i'm a soldier stationed in korea. there are streets filled with clubs around here. there are these women called "drinking" or "juicy" girls working in these clubs. the woman i mentioned is one. she's literally paid to flirt with men. i can usually spot a liar, this time i'm not so sure. what do you think.
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A
female
reader, Angelicc  +, writes (16 March 2006):
 Flirting is part of most people's personality, most people have to flirt a little in jobs, so it doesn't make her untrustworthy. if you truly would like to begin a relationship with this woman then you should of this problem with her flirting. if it bothes you so muxch speak to her but you really need to deal with or it'll ruin your relationship.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (16 March 2006):
 What happens if she works in an office? A mens' clothing store? A super market etc.. People all flirt to some extent. Some more than others. If she didn't like you, she wouldn't be going out to lunch with you. She's in the service industry. She has to be nice ot people. She's probably nice to the females too. You see it as flirting because the only time it bothers you is when it's men. If she gets tips, she has to put on her happy face. Trust her unti you have a reasonnot to.
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A
male
reader, d4u04 +, writes (16 March 2006):
 This simply is a case of trust, which relationships are based on. If you can trust her then her job shouldn't be an issue, but if you really can't trust her then don't get involved in the first place because your jelousy is probably likely to comsume you even though it's probably unjustified
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