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female
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anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend of 2 yrs live together but live like brother and sister. We dont have sex anymore, we dont do anything together anymore, and i think we just dont have that spark. I know we love eachother but we dont get along anymore. I dont know weather to keep trying or move on. Im still really young only in my 20's and I just feel stuck. What should I do?
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (9 April 2006):
 You have to make a decision. Either you want to work on it or not. Don't be fooled though, if you ever thought the spark or the magic of a new sexual encounter will follow you through your relationship without effort, you're wrong. Many things get in the way of wild nights of sex. Things like kids, shift work, age, routine etc...The grass isn't always greener with the next guy either. It would be for a while but in time it becomes old too. The grass is greenest where you water it.
Now you say you don't get along. That is more of an issue than the sex. Why don't you get along? Fixing that might solve the sex problem too.
This is why we date before marriage, to test the waters. I've been with my wife for 22 years, married for 20. It's a long ride and many things happen along the way. Good and bad. When you first start, it's a small picture. You, him and that's it, no history. Time races by and before you know it, you have a history and a RELATIONSHIP that has matured. You have memories, trust and a best friend. You have kids, dreams and so much more. You partner is the person you build your life with. Mostly someone you can count on. A friend of mine stopped by yesterday. He's 48 and single. He commented that he never found a woman like mine, somebody he could JUST trust with anything. That said it all to me.
I kind of got off topic but my point is you said you love eachother. That is hard to come by. It's a starting point though. You will see that life is soo much more than what you know now and so much bigger than just the two of you.
So it's decision time. Talk to him. Be honest and take it from there.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2006): I'm going through a similar situation, I'm on my early 20's and I was living with my girlfriend of 2 years and suddenly she told me she wasn't in love with me anymore... I was crushed and didn't know what to do....She was feeling the same way you are feeling like were are best friends but that's about it. This was just over a month ago, and it trully hurts. We never had a big fight or nothing before this.
Since I'm in the opposite end you are I advice you to talk to him, but just don't cut off the relationship yet, let him know the way you are feeling, tell him what things are wrong for you and how you want them to change, and if he really loves you he would do his best to get that spark back into your heart. You love him and he loves you, you still have feelings for him and he does too so work on it.
Maybe you guys need to spend more time together, if you love him make time for him and show him your love and ask him back fo the same.
But if after giving yourself an opportunity you see that things aren't changing just tell him that it didn't work. Just do the best you can to fix the relationship and that's all you can do. If at the end it doesn't work you will know that you gave it your best to change the way you felt and you will feel good about yourself.
One thing that I would of change on the way she broke up with me was that she never told me the way she felt before giving me the stunner. I wished she would of given me a hit or a heads up on the way she was feeling before she broke up with me.
I still in contact with her I call her often but it seems to me that is easier on her that is on me. She left to Denver for 3 weeks to work right after breaking up. She was busy with work for the first weeks while I was devastated. We talked on the phone a couple of times but I felt horrible, I know it was really hard for her too since she would cry to me everytime we talked and tell me that she didn't want to hurt me and that it was the worse thing she ever felt to hurt someone you love. We had lunch just a week ago and I felt ackward but I think it was good for me to see her and to know that she was fine.
I took the decision of moving out of our place while she was gone. I told her I would do it, I now live with a friend sharing the same room. The one of the hardest things for me were to move out I cried everytime I was getting my stuff from our place, now all my things are spread around friends houses and I fell like I don't belong anywhere. My clothes are still in a suitcase on the floor of my friends apartment because there is no place to put them.
So, just work on it and most importantly talk to him let him know what you feel, don't just dump him and get away, I'm telling you if feels horrible. Asking for a proof of love, and you give him a proof of love back to him. Do your best to change this with him, but if at the end you BOTH notice that it didn't work them just let him go.
I believe that things happen for a reason and that reason maybe for both of you to realize what you have and to built up your love even stronger, or to notice that maybe it wasn't really meant to be.
Hope that helps, let me know who things work out.
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