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female
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anonymous
writes: I lied to my ex even though it was in the past there was ALOT i've done with guys that i didn't tell him but we weren't together and it still bothers him because he thinks its important to know the past. He says he will never get over everything i've done but he loves me and wants to be with me so bad he just can't also because he can't trust a word i said, but this time i did get everything out, i told him everything so how do i get him back? we both love each other so much and can't picture ourself with anyone else and i know it could work if someone helps me and tells me how i can prove to him i won't lie anymore and i only did about the past and how he could get over what i did. Please i tryed just about everything. I'm dieing for help! Thank you!
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male
reader, tux  +, writes (6 April 2006):
 If you want to tell him all about your sexual past that of course is your business.. If he wanted to know about it then he should be able to tell with it. To me, he *is* the one overreacting on this. To me it sounds like you just didn't go into detail on this.. More of a lie of omission because you didn't want to explain it to him, nor should you really have to. Unless you told him that you didnt do much which could be hard. From what it sounds like, you just didn't explain all the you have done in the past which is akin to not telling him what you ate for breakfast when you were 13.
On a sidenote, if discussing your past.. never tell him you had amazing sex unless you really want to make him jealous and nervous in the future.
as for your problem at hand, if you really want him back.. you are just going to have to talk to him. and explain things to him and let him know that you can be trusted which can be tough. but obviously, he may still be trying to get over your past in his head. which is problaly why you didnt want to tell him in the first place. But he shouldnt be worrying about your past when you are with him today. Now if you were lying about something current i could understand. But well I wish you luck with whatever you wish to do.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (5 April 2006):
 This is a big RED FLAG !! It's not his job to "get over " your past. Tell him if he keeps this up he'll be getting over YOUR past by himself. Why should you have to explain why you did something sexual with a guy. Just tell him " at that particular moment, I was really horny, so we had amazing sex." It's probably true. It's also none of his business. What does this tell you about him? Listen to what I'm about to say. This guy wants to CONTROL your past. That's impossible !! For some reason, your past fuels a problem he has with himself. If you were a terrible person, that's one thing. But, if it's just normal sexual history, you don't have to justify anything. I imagind the only reson you felt compelled tolie was tospare hsi jealous feelings. It seems like a good idea at the moment but it only casue pain in the end. Be honest. If he can't handle it, walk away.
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