A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:What are the views of everyone on your partner being friends with his ex wife.Is it acceptable for them to take their child of 17 out on his birthday? Bearing in mind that the ex has not moved on, and gets my partner round at every opportunity. Using their children as a weapon to make him feel guilty, for leaving.I understand that the kids come first, mine do as well to a point. But I would not upset my partner by wanting to go out with my ex, as well as with my grown up kids.I am feeling guilty because we had a terrible row and he told me I was acting as nutty as her. This has really hurt me as I do everything for him and she did nothing.I should also tell you that he got drunk one night and she had sex with him, and had great delight in telling me. So this is why I am suffering from a lack of trust towards him. This happened last year and I have really tried to forgive him.I know she wants him back, even though she is telling people that she doesn't.Am I being an idiot, I really don't want to lose him and I know I am pushing him away. But I am so jealous and it's not like me at all. I can't get to grips with my feelings.I know that if I went out for the evening and he couldn't contact me he would go crazy. But I cant play those games.When he is round her house he won't answer his phone to me because it upsets the kids, she has told him.Please what can I do to get over this massive hurdle in our life? I know I have painted a picture of him that's not good, but he is so lovely the rest of the time. He just will not say no to her, and thinks I should just accept it's for his kids, and not her.
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (4 July 2007):
 Up to the part about him having sex with her, I was on his side. You have good reason not to be in favor of them spending time together. At least not alone. He lost that privilege when he cheated.
A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (4 July 2007):
 My mum and dad are friends. I wouldn't go as far as to say best friends, but they are very good friends.
It's not acceptable to use the child as a weapon and your partner needs to tell his ex wife that. Playing on a child's emotions is wrong and unfair.
I see no harm in your partner going out for his kids birthday with his ex, but how come you didn't go? My sister's 18th had both my parents and their partners there for the meal. Just seems a little odd to me.
He had sex with his ex and she told you! Wow hunni. She really has a hold over him. Try talking to him again and explain how you feel without it turning in to a row. He should listen to how you feel. He may feel that his ex is using him too but then again he may not see it.
I wouldn't suggest you playing any sort of game hunni as revenge doesn't work most of the time and will leave you with more pain. You need to make him see that what is going on isn't right. He can't run to his ex everytime she clicks her fingers. If it was the child then fine but not her.
I don't think you have painted a really bad picture of him at all. I just think he is blinded by the games his ex is playing with him. By these games she is hurting you and probably the kids aswell.
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