A
female
age
51-59,
*andice
writes:For the past 3 years I have worked with D. We both have partners,but unhappy. We are really close at work. I have told him my feelings of love. We went out once and felt guilty...since then we have tried to maintain a friendship and work relationship but have had up and downs but always make up. I have felt so stressed that i went part-time( studying) just to "ease the pain" of seeing him everyday- which i think he thrives from as he follows me around and demands my attention.Soon i will be leaving on a more full-time basis only returning at Christmas and next summer. I know he will miss me, lately he has become jealous of my friendship with a female colleague and has been horrible to her and then he was angry with me saying " You should be true to yourself" - I did not know what he meant and was upset. But again we made up and he has not told me why he was annoyed with me or what he meant by this remark.. I care so much for him, but I feel he is hiding his feelings or maybe he is not? Maybe he just wants to control me? What will happen when I leave?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007): That's funny...she said we were being childish and then mockingly, in a belittling way {which indicates we struck the nerve with her and she can't digest sour grapes...} types in OHHHHHH.
That's so funny.
And about that controling bit...I think it's you that may be the controlling one.
You thrive off of his following you around and demanding your attention which actually indicates you are more controlling as...what man who loves himself, feels secure, is confident, able bodied and able minded...chases after an emotionallly unavailable woman? HOLY ISSUES!
Also, what would an educated woman such as yourself want to fool herself into thinking she could come on here and do her best to omit and be careful with her wording to only slip up later on...and then get sulky when she is found out, confronted?
You choose to be upset and you choose to care and you choose to let it hurt you. That you anger and continue on only supports our believe and views that you know full well you are not some Heroine.
I do support your rant about it is unnecessary for those to name call but mocking others is still just as uncharitable.
You want to be happy, make a choice. Simple as that.
Good Luck Chica and just take care of those kidlets of yours; that will bring you true lasting happiness.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2007): Well folks
It seems I have hit a "raw" nerve with the people who cannot have a discussion/debate without insults or negative use of language. Eddie and Mandy are the only ones who have been able to do so and I respect and thank them for it.
I attend University and we have discussions and debate all the time and we refrain from using such - and have mature debates whether we agree with each other or not.
I did not say I was "right"- but some of you seem to feel annoyed when I pointed out your "childish" form of debate! OOOOOOHHH
Kandice.
Kandice
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (11 July 2007):
 Ditto
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007): Im with penta on this now you do not have to justify yourself to anyone eddie... enough is enough
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female
reader, penta +, writes (11 July 2007):
 Wow. You really are delusional.
Folks, I say we leave this woman to her own advice. She clearly only wanted permission to date the man who's bad for her, while disrespecting the father of her children and the other guy's partner. She's not open to anything that doesn't confirm her own position and she seems to be thriving on the tea kettle tempest.
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (11 July 2007):
 I'm 44, two kids 18 and 15. My wife is 43. First marriage for both of us, 21 years, going well too.
Society doesn't see cheating as acceptable either. I'm not naive...at all. I've been around the block, take my word on that. Look how easily you dismissed your husband, as far as the man leaving the house goes. You're the one who wants to leave. I don't know him but it sounds like he's the one who has the priorities straight.
Look, you're not bad for having lost the romance in your marriage. It happens all the time. YOU'RE naive though if you think you can dance through the next few years pretending you've got a Barbie and Ken romance with this other guy, who's also attached.
What you want is one thing. What you do is another. You are disrespecting the rules that society tries to go by. Just because cheating happens frequently doesn't make it good. Don't try to justify or sugar coat what you've done. You got too involved with another man and went too far. Accept that. Once you accept that, you can apologize to your family and hope the accept your actions, not your thoughts. Has they been only thoughts, nobody would have ever known. You chose to make them real.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 July 2007):
You are definitely not open to debate. You want people to back you up with all this deceitful doo-doo (is that better?). You do not want honest opinions you want to hear from people who are also living a lie. For the sake of your husband and children cut them free.
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female
reader, Kandice +, writes (11 July 2007):
Kandice is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the recent comments. I would like to clarify a couple of points:
1. I am open to debate and discussion and even though I do not agree with some of eddie's views, I welcome them which is why I have used this media. This is MY view and I should be respected for them as I am sure you PENTA wish others to.
2. I think that people who respond to my dilemma should refrain from using negative langague and deogratory terms such as "crap" - if you feel the need to, them please do not respond to my dilemma. I prefer "adult" and mature debate -once these type of phrases and terms are used I question the type of person.
Please let's keep it "clean"
tHANKS
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female
reader, penta +, writes (11 July 2007):
"We are paying for our mistakes and not letting our children like most people do."
This is PURE CRAP. You need to stop lying to yourself. You are showing your kids that a NORMAL relationship is one without love. You are modeling to your kids that it's okay to avoid your so-called partner, in favor of another.
Kids SEE this stuff! They live what they learn. If you think that they don't notice that mom and dad don't like each other you are seriously deluded. Kids are much smarter than you think. You can't seriously think that you are doing your kids any favors behaving like this?
If you are that unhappy with your partner, you need to either (1) work to fix it so that it's a real relationship, or (2) be honest with yourself (and your kids) and leave him.
Either way, don't date anyone else until you are free to do so. Or do you want your kids to choose for themselves the same type of 'marriage' you and your partner have?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007): We made our mistakes now we have to live with them. Our children didn't asked to be brought into this world and they don't deserve to have their lives ripped apart emotionally. We are paying for our mistakes and not letting our children like most people do. Now who is the bigger person here, making our children suffer or ourselves?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007): To infer that someone is naieve and to infer that they are lacking in knowledge or wisdom due to you possibly having a few years on them is a low blow and a sly tatic.
It is apparent that you are unhappy with what they have to say and I'm curious as to why you even are letting them bother you?
Society's standards have crumbled a lot since our grandparents time and I say sadly so.
I KNOW that ALL children want both parents to remain married and committed to one another in all aspects with honesty, integrity, faithfulness.
Children have way better chances of becoming happy, successful members of Society in that they will raise their children with the same upbringing they experienced-future Generations are effected.
Children are smarter than you seem to think. Yours have and do pick up on your moods, actions, behaviours. That you choose to enroll a child of yours in the said object of your affection and then say it is innocent...I digress. It is not.
Is this what you want for your children and future generations? To pass down that staying married is honorable when you have less than honorable desires for someone else? It won't be long before you are engaging in sex and hinding behind a guise of being some honorable woman who loves her family greatly.
Love is not a pretense or a facade to hide behind.
There are those who remain members of Society that hold true to the standards of yesteryear and they speak to remind those who may have begun to adopt the crumbling views of a fast eroding Society and seem to think they can do whatever they want with out consequences. There will always be consequences and infidelity breeds heartache and distrust for years...scars that seldom heal.
You either remain married and committed to your husband and work to rekindle the fires...love is not just a word, it is an act that means you should be doing the things to make love grow. You are responsible to keeping your marriage strong and loving for the sake of you children. They want that above all else.
Or you divorce and have the life you think will bring you all the happiness you deserve.
You are being naieve in thinking the way you do.
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female
reader, Kandice +, writes (10 July 2007):
Kandice is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey Eddie
Please dont take this the wrong way, how old are you? You say u are married, for how long? The reasons why I ask this is because you appear to take a very naive stance onthe fact that I choose to remain with my children's father for their sake. It really is not that unusual. If my children were experiencing a domestic violence situation or regular arguments between myself and their father then I would say I am damaging them. But they adore their father.
ALso, why would I leave the house? I have told you that I want to live with my children and society will not forgive me as their mother for walking out and yes lets face it if fathers leave it is more acceptable..You are def seeing this from the male point of view and i dont blame u and dont wish for u to be insulted by this.
Hope u answer the age and experience question
K
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male
reader, eddie +, writes (10 July 2007):
Why would you assume that you are being a martyr by staying in the marriage? Why would you assume your husband would be the one to leave the house? Maybe you should be the one to go. From what you've said, you're the one who is creating something outside the marriage.
You need to be more decisive. What lesson are you teaching your kids? Some day they will know the truth, if they don't already. What you're showing them is this, it's OK to be married and act single. You're living a lie and that's worse for your kids. You haven't chosen not to hurt them, just when.
For every choice we make, there is a reaction. Good or bad, there is a reaction. You may be fooling some people at the moment but in the end, they will know that all those years when they thought they had a tight family unit, your mind was somewhere else. That too will have an effect on them. Choices are tough to make and I'm not saying it's easy for you. What I am saying is that you let this romance go to far. That is YOUR fault. Don't ask...haven't you ever liked someone?.......Of course, we all have. So what? That's where it stops. Anything other than that is deceitful.
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female
reader, Kandice +, writes (10 July 2007):
Kandice is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear eyeswideopen
As I hve said, he knows we are not a couple as we have not slept together for a year. I could easily start proceedings as many a bitter woman has by getting him to leave our house and just visit the children, but I choose not to as my parents broke up and i was very devastated. He is a good guy and we are like brother and sister. I dream of the day when my children are older and i will live my life. DOnt u think I am being very UNSELFISH by staying with this man for the sake of my children? Most couples i know have split up and they constantly fight about money children etc.
Yes I wish he would leave,but I dont want to be the one that pushes.
Interestingly u say the truth about me will get out..What truth?? I have feelings for someone else..have u not have that maybe not.. Can anyone else see what I am trying to put across? It seems that it is you and Eddie who are picking at some of what I have said but choose to ignore the other things I say?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 July 2007):
All you said was that you told him your feelings have changed, try telling him what you told us and see if he chooses to stay after that. And don't think you are doing your children any service by staying with your husband, the truth will come out about your behavior and they will be devastated.
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female
reader, Kandice +, writes (10 July 2007):
Kandice is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear Eddie and Eyeswideopen
If you read all of my answers u will see that I have told my loving partner that it is over and HE wont accept it - so I am just living with him and do so for my children. I have been honest but I dont have to hurt him by telling him my innermost thoughts. He choses to stay.
Secondly, yes maybe I do feel guilt, but it IS normal to have feelings for someone and yes I do think I should not have told this man
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male
reader, eddie +, writes (10 July 2007):
Don't insult me as a man. As a human I can understand what you're up to. As a man I can understand that if I was your husband, I'd be very badly hurt to know what you were up too. Emotionally involved is CHEATING. You even said so in one of your replies. YOU identified the involvment....that's what makes it rotten.
So I get the feeling you're just fishing here and I'm not wasting my time. If I'm so off base, show your husband all the entries you've written and see what he says. Put your money where your mouth is.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 July 2007):
Sorry Kandice, I've been following this thread and agree with everythng Eddie has written. You so obviously want validation for your emotional affair and that indicates guilt. You don't have much to say about your husband do you?
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female
reader, Kandice +, writes (10 July 2007):
Kandice is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Eddie
Thanks for your comments....I am not a cheater and I cannot believe that u keep saying this. What do u mean it gets muddier?? I have not hidden anything .. I have not been intimate with this guy.. I believe as a man u cannot understand when women get emotionally involved??
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reader, eddie +, writes (10 July 2007):
I'm sorry to say this but your are a very selfish, person. After all the advice you've been given, you finally find light at the end of the tunnel when someone replies who's doing the same rotten thing you are. And, involving your kids puts the icing on the cake.
Where is your head at. Good luck. You don't want to do the proper ting. You only want justification to be a cheater. Before you ever try to fix this, you need to have integrity. At this point yo have none, THAT is the problem. I still can't believe you put your son in his youth club. Your lover isn't qualified to offer any type of leadership to young people.
It's strange how every time you write a new response to your original question, the water gets muddier. You never told the entire story in the first place, only the facts that would lead us to say what you wanted to hear.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007): I feel like i'm reading my own life story. If you think that you are going to get away from your feelings when your away your wrong. you will find a way to talk and see each other. when i try to get away, i find myself dreaming constantly of him to the point it is so real it wakes me up. We both have young teenage sons and they both are involved with both of us. Not the way we would like but the reason we stay in the other relationships are so that our children aren't hurt with all of this. Maybe when they are a little older, they will understand. I completely understand the arrogance. Mine is the same way. He tries to be a hard ass, but he will do whatever i ask. We we are alone, he is the most loveable person i've ever met. A side of him that no one else sees. I have had coworkers ask me is he and I were having an affair, but I just tell them we are just friends and joke around and if I were, I wouldn't tell you anyway. It really isn't anyone elses business. No matter what you do people will talk. I just tell everyone that if there talking about me atleast they are leaving someone else alone. Those are the people that really need to get a life of their own.
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female
reader, Kandice +, writes (10 July 2007):
Kandice is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi
Thanks for your reply..What you have said gives me some comfort in a strange way because some of the things you have said is EXACTLY how we are....We have argued about coworkers..we work in a mostly female environment and I am very popular with the female staff - he gets v jealous if I even go for a chat in the other office.. He follows me around! Checking...However this particular coworker and i are studying so we have alot in common and since she has returned for the summer and she sits between me and him and he hears us laughing and joking and I do include him but I think he is purely jealous that someone else has my attention...It is so obvious.
We have met outside work and maintained contact, but had a massive row last xmas and he said we should not call each other outside work...however, in Jan he regretted it ( this has happened before) and attempted to call me so I ignored him and confronted him about it and he could not explain why he had changed his mind...yes i wanted him to admit his feelings but he just got annoyed and said he would not call me again.....Like I said I am leaving to a placement in Oct and will return at term holidays such as xmas, easter and summer.. I wondered how he would try to maintain contact but guess what I have a young teenage son and he runs a youth club at the weekend and yes he begged me to let him join ( we both live and work locally)... At first I thought I shouldnt and avoided it as I thought we should break free...but because of my feelings I have allowed my son to go and he enjoys it..so that would be our "link". He is really kind to my son and i think he is trying to connect with him..
When I have been at uni for two days,when I return to work he is all over me and this is the same if I or he goes on annual leave.Is this the same for you?
Yes I have expressed my feelings to him and he doesnt say anything ....he just finds excuses to touch me or sits or asks me to sit with him when he is on the computer.. ALso he does anything I ask him to such as silly things like putting hot water in my cup or collecting the paper from the printer... He can be arrogant, but sometimes I cant understand why he would just do as I say?
Yes I think coworkers suspect us and some have asked me!!! SOme have warned me about the possibility of wrecking my life..
What I find stressful is when he talks in "scenarios" like he says " If you and I were married....." I think he does this to see my reaction and he does this alot, but I find it hurtful and would like to tell him this, but fear we will row.
He jokes that me and him have a relationship where we will row and make up forever.
Please reply
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007): Yes, we work at the same place together 5 days a week. We really don't care what anyone has to say. Not that we would admit to anyone that we are more than best friends. I'm sure everyone knows, but just don't say. I'm sure its obvious when we take the same days of work. Even when we are not together at work, we still keep in contact. We still flirt with each other in front of other people and yes it is very stressful. There is jealously when dealing with other coworkers also. We argue about it like any other couple and make up. I don't think its right that he would be mean to one of your friends, unless he thinks that she might be a bad influence on you, like talking you into seeing other guys. Sometimes i say i am going to just end it and i am fine with that until i see him again. he is like a bad habit. i love truly love him with all of my heart, but i we can't get out of our relationships right now because we both have children to think about and I love his son as he was my own. He never talks about feelings. he is a very personal person. i would like to know what his feelings are, but i don't want to risk the relationship that we do have. i feel how could he not have feelings for me as long as we have been together and everything that we have been through. if you leave and he doesn't bother with you there is your answer. if he does, then he does care about you and has feeling for you.
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female
reader, Kandice +, writes (9 July 2007):
Kandice is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks to the annoymous female. You say you are in the same position as me....do you work in the same office and see each other 5 days a week also?
If you do, then how do you respond to each other at work and with colleagues around you? Do you find it stressful being at work together as I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007): i am in the same exact situation. The only thing is we are more emotionally involved. We have been seeing each other for 4 years and have only had intercourse 4 times. Yes we have had many other sexual occasions, but mostly it is emotional. The difference is neither of us feel guilty afterwards. Why is that?????
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reader, eddie +, writes (8 July 2007):
The ONLY way you can get this right is to get it into your head that this guy means harm to your marriage and you're too weak to fight. In order to do this, you need to respect your marriage to overcome your weakness. Instead of fighting for reasons to save your marriage, you're fighting for reasons not to save it. That is common because you allowed yourself to get into a mind set that was focused on this affair. As long as you play this game and are wishy washy on your stance, the marriage doesn't stand a chance and your husband is being made a fool of. I can already hear the way your coworkers talk behind his back. That's terrible. I don't understand what the repercussions at work could be either. If you haven't done anything with this guy, what's the problem?
This person knew you were married and manipulated a situation so you'd go out, expecting a crowd. That was a gamble and a rotten thing for him to do to a married lady. I'd bet though you had been giving him signs you were interested in the game though, such as flirting. Once again, this is common. You were at a moment in your marriage when you should have received the wake up call telling you to work on marriage. Instead, you chose the excitement of a new person. It happens all the time.
This guy sulks when you try to distance yourself from him. Not very mature is it? If he gives you a hard time, report him. That will give him something to think about. In reality though, you're not trying hard enough to give him the signal that you're not interested. You made the error in judgment here and only you can fix it. You have to own the fact that this is your fault. Your relationship at home may not have been perfect but you've put the icing on the cake and made it far worse.
It seems though that this doesn't bother you enough to focus on what is most important. You have to make a choice. Don't continue though to make your husband look foolish. Give him the opportunity to find someone who wants to be with him. You seem to be most concerned about yourself. I think that is because the big picture of true love has not presented itself to you. Sometimes people miss the big picture and it's too late. This might be the case for yourself. Sometimes we can't get the spark back into our marriages. When it's mutual, that is something we can live with. What really hurts is when people add insult to injury by finding someone else first. That, is showing no respect for the person you had agreed to build a life with.
Without integrity, anything seems justifiable.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2007): Hun,
Id say from what you have said this man is controlling your emotions, And your not forgetting your home life but your missing a link, If you really are not happy at home I feel you should maybe go to counselling with your partner to see where things started to go wrong, as some couples find it easy to talk but others avoid it as it becomes a chore and it feels to them maybe they are talking to themselves, ive been in this situation with my ex husband he was the one that was cheating, and my love the pain is undescribable... My partner and I now always talk so we no how the other is feeling and we can be there for each other, and we have the most wonderfull trust in our relationship, Its so important to talk and try and work on things. If it doesnt work out then you gave it your all.
This man D has probably cheated before, think of his partner and put yourself in her shoes, Hunny i wouldnt talk with him at all get yourself a good girl mate to talk with and leave this romeo to his own devises. He will continue to hurt a break his partners heart dont be a sitting duck love your worth more than this TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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female
reader, Kandice +, writes (8 July 2007):
Kandice is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to Eddie and everyone who have responded. OK- I have thought about your comment Eddie and yes I can see the emotional adultury. By the way, when we went out once that was when we first met at work and he pretended others were coming and then when I got there it was just the two of us! Honest- but to be honest i did fancy him, so i stayed for the evening and i told him i felt guilty..
I do not do this often, he is the first person i have fallen for since being with my partner for 17 years and my partner is a wonderful person.. Trust me like u Eddie I get chatted up all the time, but have never cheated..
My feelings for this person is real, but we both have teenage children who need us which is why I do not want to break up my home... I only see my partner as a great friend and yes, I have told him that my feelings have changed, but I think he really loves me and will not leave me. Therefore I put up with it for my two teenage children!! I am putting my children first and sometimes I dream of living on my own when they are older. etc...
The thing about this is and people seem to ignore is I have to see this person each day!! I have tried not speaking to him...honest.. but my colleagues ( who gossip and suspect us anyway) noticed and I fear my managers will get "wind" of the situation. When I started studying, and went part time - when I went into the office, he would start chatting and I told him I was busy and refused to talk , but he felt hurt and angry and I worried he may tell management or make my life hell..
So I started speaking to him, I fear my colleagues would discuss the atmosphere in the office if it remained strained.
Does anyone understand this situation. What can I do? Should I stop talking to him?? Leave - though I cant because my company is paying my UNi fees.... I wished he would leave, but i think he wont??
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female
reader, penta +, writes (8 July 2007):
Even if you don't call it adultery, it's still a form of cheating. You seem more concerned about D than you do about your partner, and you're feeling guilty that you went out with D even once.
You are not being honest with your partner, and that's the big thing here.
You should tell D that you don't want to have this relationship with him anymore. [If you and he were both unattached I would still tell you that; he doesn't seem like a healthy guy to be with.] Even more so because you need to put your energy into your relationship with your partner.
Start working with your partner to fix it. If after giving it a REAL chance (rather than running away and playing with a co-worker), if it's still not working you can at least say you tried. Then you should leave him. THEN you would be free to have another relationship.
Anything else isn't honest.
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male
reader, eddie +, writes (8 July 2007):
Emotional adultery is when you are spending time nurturing feelings for someone else, other than your partner. If it was a good thing, you'd tell your partner about how you really like this other guy and you went out with him once and you felt guilty for some strange reason ( your conscience) and you've discussed your feelings of love etc. If that is not crossing boundaries and disrespecting the person who is your original partner, I don't know what is.
You supplied the facts and presented the issue. The issue is that you have a partner and you're interested in someone else. That is emotional adultery. You made your feelings known. THAT was where you crossed the line. That is what would hurt your partner. That is what was disrespectful. I meet beautiful women all the time. I'm married so I don't go out with them. That would be disrespectful to my wife and family. It's the wrong thing to do.
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female
reader, Kandice +, writes (7 July 2007):
Kandice is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Eddie
Again, I disagree - I have not committed adultury what is emotional adultury?.....Can one not have feelings for someone particularly as i am forced to sit with him in the same office where I work? its not as if we met in a bar and have maintained the relationship. As i said i have made various attempts to leave or reduce my time at the job i ABSOLUTELY LOVE and am succeeding very well in. If not i would have left.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2007): Hi darling,
no one has the right to judge you, all i was trying to say was that as you have a partner and you dont appear happy. And to be honest with you this situation is familiar to me, This man is very childish... I no you said you went out once and its not like you've been sleeping with him ok I understand if you are not getting the attention at home.
if you need to talk message me i will talk with you anytime your feeling down love TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXX
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male
reader, eddie +, writes (7 July 2007):
You're committing emotional adultery. It's plain and simple. He likes you, you like him,you both know it, you giggle and say silly things to each other, you went out and later felt guilty (if it' so innocent, why feelings of guilt), you're both have partners......that equals something rotten.
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female
reader, Kandice +, writes (7 July 2007):
Kandice is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Eddie
Why would u say I am committing adultury? I do not think I have totally.
Thanks
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 July 2007):
 I'm with Eddie.
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male
reader, eddie +, writes (4 July 2007):
First of all, stop kidding yourself, he's not a friend. He's a guy you're sneaking around with and committing adultery. Friends help each other and enjoy doing things together, usually not naked or in a lustful manner.
First big mistake...talking about your personal love life and it's unhappy state. That is the first step toward falling into the trap of adultery. Crying on each other's shoulders leads to a bond based on nothing but lust. Instead of working on the marriage, you end up focusing on the person you're cheating with.
In my mind, I never feel sorry for the cheater. There are many reasons to be unhappy in relationship. Cheating just adds on more. Why not do things in the correct order?
1- Talk to your spouse, work on the relationship
2- Talk again, continue working
3- Give it time
4- If it doesn't work, be honest and move on
At least you've done things in the right order and an say you've tried. The fact you're attracted to this guy is normal and common. The fact you let yourself get so comfortable with him that you TOLD him was your mistake. There will be many others you fancy too, where does it stop?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2007): Hi love,
This isnt a friendship its a game to him he knows how you feel. APART FROM THE FACT YOU BOTH HAVE PARTNERS! He is demanding and childish and he needs to understand for himself what being true to yourself means.... I no you say you care for him but where is the beauty within this man... If your not happy with your partner you should be honest and talk with him. And as for this D at work just let him get on with his life he really isnt worth your time or concern, Have you thought about his poor partner wow what a life she must have... hunny talk with your man get this one out your head and then when things have settled im sure you will be alot happier TAKE CARE OF YOU LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (4 July 2007):
 Hi, you need to make your mind up as to whether you want to end your current relationship or not. If you dont then try and make your relationship work. If you are unhappry then there is no reason you should your partner back from finding someoe that really loves him, you going to hurt hm if you do. This other guy has a partner of his own and he need to decide the same thing. I think you should pay much attention to his actions as it seems he isn't very seriuos about you because if he was then he would have left his gf to be wih you.Tell him to stop playing games with you and be straight. Ask him what he would the outcome of yourr'lls "relationship" to be and decide from there.
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