A
female
age
51-59,
*azzie40
writes:I love my boyfriend and have been with him for 4 years, but i just dont fancy him anymore. I dont want to leave him i want our relationship to work. Hes sweet and kind and he loves me too. How can i get the desire back for him physically. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, wafflebrains  +, writes (6 July 2007):
I had the same problem. after being with my wife I felt board sexually with her. my opinion it was because I have been with several other woman and once I got "board" with my wife I felt the love was gone. It made me wonder away for a while. I know now that love is not all about sex. Ok im not saying thats what you are saying just my story. the main thing is that you know you want to be with this person. I agree with the others. talk, get things out in the open. Just be carefull how you say things. . Stick with it. I am more in love and very very happy with my wife. I am glad I stuck things out and we worked things out. it took a while but I would not give anything up for her. Waf
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (6 July 2007):
 The MOST important thing here is the fact your see there is a problem. Talk to your boyfriend and let him know there are some things bothering you. Don't be so blunt that you'll crush him emotionally. Instead of telling him your not attracted to him, tell him you want to liven up the relationship. After all, it's your issue too and I'm sure you own part of the responsibility for the state of the marriage.
He can't fight for the relationship is he doesn't know there is a problem. If you don't make him aware of the issue, it's not fair to him and not responsible on your part. Actually it would show that you really don't wasn't it to work and you're looking for reasons to let it fail.
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female
reader, Straight Up +, writes (6 July 2007):
 i think lauraE advice is great. i just think because you've been together for 4 years your a bit bored. try doing something exciting with him. try buying him an outfit you would like to see him in. or even buy an outfit you think he'd like to see on you. there plenty of things you could if you want to talk more private mail me
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A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (6 July 2007):
I had this exact problem. I stayed for several more years than you because I loved him and we were so compatible in many ways. In the end I left for other reasons, although it was incredibly painful to do it. A few months later, I met my husband, who I still fancy like mad 10 years later. My one regret is that I didn’t do it sooner. I am still friends with my ex by the way, and he is now very happy with a wife and children. That said, I have to say that we didn’t really try to do anything about the problem. We talked about getting professional help, but never did. I don’t know whether it would have helped us or not. I doubt it, but that’s an opinion coming from where I am now. If you think you should be with him, then do better than I did, and go for professional help. I am certain that this problem will not just go away. Just carrying on as you are will mean that eventually one of you will get fed up and leave, or be tempted by someone else, unlikely as this seems to you now.
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