A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, bit of a juvanile question but here goes. Im 32 years of age and there is a guy I like he works in my building (large building) and I notice him on regular occasions in the canteen or in the lift etc, I have never spoke to this guy and just know his name for overhearing people talk to him. I know he has noticed me because I have seen him look over or caught his eye a couple of times. We both quickly look away. I would really like to do something about this. I have no problem smiling back if he smiles at me or talks to me if he talks to me, but I do have a problem with making a first move. I dont have alot of confidence in myself and the way I look and that makes it hard for me to approach men, plus I have had alot of rejection in my life when it comes to men so that has taken away most of my confidence. I usually end up missing out on men that I am really attracted to because of my lack of confidence. But I also dont want to appear desperate as for all I know this guy could be married etc. Any tips on how to take the looks that litle bit further.Thanks x
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female
reader, lovejunkie  +, writes (3 August 2007):
 Perhaps you just need a new look and a couple of new digs for your wardrobe to get you over the hump of not feeling confident. Then when you meet up in the lift, say "How's it going today?"....and then the next time you see him, ask him if he wants to grab a drink or something after work sometime. If he says yes, give him your number and walk out with your head held high. If he says 'no' it could be because he's in a relationship, just walk out with your head held high anyhow. Who knows, he might reconsider and ask you out the next time he sees you. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): You could try talking to a work friend about him. im sure if you have friends at work they'd be more than willing to help you out. also if there are drama classes or anything like that around your area for people your age group you could try them for confidence. good luck =)XxXxX
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A
male
reader, NuVu  +, writes (3 August 2007):
Just shoot him a smile and say "Hi", the next time you see him. I wouldn't call that making the first move, i'd call it just being polite. After a few times, just introduce yourself. Its to hard to say if he'll be interested or not, but just being nice goes a long way to finding out if he is. What is a larger concern though is your lack of confidence. Stepping out of your comfort zone and giving this guy a smile or introducing yourself is a low risk way of moving out of your comfort zone and improving your confidence. Develop a short memory like great atheletes do. Greatest baseball players fail 70% of the time when hitting. The great basketball players fail 60% of the time. They do this by dwelling on the few successes they've had and eliminating the failures from their mind. I'm sure you've had a few successes, so start dwelling on those and forget about any failures you might have had. Good luck
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (3 August 2007):
 My darling I thoroughly recommend buying a book called "HOT RELATIONSHIPS" by Tracey Cox priced 9.99 it is my bible. She give great advice on how to attract a guy you like and more. I'm afraid I am like you I could never approach guys. But you know what I joined a dating agency and I am having a wail of a time. I am not suggesting you do the same, but I find it fun. Sorry I was kinda getting off track there, look buy that book on ebay and see what you think when you read it please get back to me as I am dying to know what happens next. I love a romantic ending lol Rose
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (3 August 2007):
 I think you need to find out a little bit more about this man before you make your move. Try to casually find out if he is married or in a relationship first. Maybe get to know someone in his department who can put you 'in the know' about him. You may even come up trumps and discover you share some interest or hobby in common...who knows?
A little reconaissance mission before hand could be quite fun without him even having an idea that your interested. Bide your time and keep that eye contact going. Be subtle and a little aloof, but don't forget to wear a little extra perfume or wear something to work that you know you look extra good in. Focus on yourself and this will boost your own aura of self confidence. Don't be overly flirty but next time he speaks to you, really look him right in the eye and give him a warm smile...If hes interested, he will pick up your signal and hopefully make his move if he is able.
If you find out that he is attached or married, then just put it down to experience and focus on finding someone who you can have all to yourself...lovely!!!!
Good luck girl
Aunty Em
xxx
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A
female
reader, vickiii07 +, writes (3 August 2007):
 Dont miss out on this guy then.
The next time you see him look at him smile.
confident women attract men !!
or drop something in front of him pick it up and smile say sorry or something.
show him your interested because men are prety useless at stuff like that x
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