A
female
age
30-35,
*rsdrown
writes:Me and my boyfriend agreed that we didnt want an abortion but we also dont want either one of us to drop out just to take care of a baby. I'm having second thoughts about it all and im sure he is too. any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): I agree with some other people that adoption is always an option. I know of many couple who for whatever reason cannot have kids. I am sure there would be someone out there who would take great care of your child. I also agree with puzzled as I do not agree with abortion. But, I have a 2 year old son so my feelings on the matter have changed since I was your age. Personally, I cannot imagine life without my son or the idea that he wouldn't exist at all. HOWEVER, it is still your choice. All I ask is that you take all options into careful consideration before deciding.
A
female
reader, puzzled  +, writes (10 August 2007):
 im totally against abortion if any tin adopt him/her. but your way to young to be thinking about kids you have the rest your life to, the world is out there to be explored.
xxx
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female
reader, [email address blocked] +, writes (10 August 2007):
you are a little young to have a baby it will change your life because you would have to drop out of school i would do the abortion and wait till you are bolth much older
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A
female
reader, mrsdrown +, writes (8 August 2007):
mrsdrown is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi, everyone. Thanks so much for answering my question. It helped me get a little closer to what my final desicion will be. Your answers were very inspirational and i really appreciate you taking the time to answer it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): I had an abortion, and I don't regret it b/c the father of the child turned out to be a psycho, mentally disturbed, abusive person who refuses to work. At that time he wasn't acting like the true person that he really is. I think what kind of a life would the baby & I have being with him? I now have a 4 mo. old & am pregnant again. I made a promise to God that I would never do that again, as I do feel bad about it, but I do not wish I hadn't done it. I am with someone a lot better & mentally stable & very supportive. So there are options for you, but you will always be thinking about that baby. Your situation is of course very different than mine was too. The point is, the father wanted me to have the baby, and I listened to my instincts. Don't listen to anyone else. But I do always feel bad about the abortion. You always will too. But if you have an adoption, everyone will know about it, and you'll always wonder where & how your child is. I guess the question is: are you selfless enough to have the baby & give him/her to someone else to love & care for? It will be very hard but at least you will give him or her a good life. It is your decision. What do you feel is best?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): You must do what is best for you at this point in your life. You are 15 and in NO position to raise a child. There are thousands of people out there in their 30's that should not be raising children. What kind of life can you provide this child? Good? Do you have money, careers, a furture relationship with this boy???? I'll bet no. Save the child....go adoption or abortion.
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female
reader, TaylorChu +, writes (8 August 2007):
 Please do not abort the baby. Look for help and support anywhere you can find it. An abortion can and does rip families apart and it will ALWAYS be ingrained in your mind and the what ifs and I wonder hows will never leave your thoughts.
Seek help from your family, all those who wont reject you because you are pregnant. It is true that raising a child is the hardest job out there but the baby will be yours and is a part of you and your bf. Having a child isn't the best thing for you right now because you are so young but it and can be very rewarding and doable! There is always someone available to help you ever step of the way because there are ALWAYS compassionate people who understand what you are going through. Seek help with local churches or people who are willing to help you every single step of the way. When you look at your baby for the very first time you'll experience so much joy and will see that the little person in your arms will drive you to do GREAT things and will empower you. Seek and rely on God for all your strength and pray for the right people to come in your life to be there through it all. (^__^)
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (8 August 2007):
 You could consider adotion for the baby, but you may feel differently when you see the baby after it is born. It is very difficult to know how you would feel until the actual birth has taken place. You don't mention if you have a supportive family, but is there anyone a little older who you trust, who could help you come to some decision about what you want to do? This has to be your decision, what you want because it is yourself who has to live with it. If you are having second thought, then let them be known to all involved.
You have, as a child, become involved in something that even adults struggle with and so you need guidance. Think things through, talk to someone you trust and decide what is the best thing for you and your baby.
Aunty Em x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): ultimately, YOU need to decide.
You are very young and this is a lofe changing situation you are in control of right now.
Have you spoken to your families? find out if they are going to be great support to you, even if your boyfriend does 'drop out' you will always have someone there to help.
Think about your future plans. can a baby really be involved in them? It can work, but you are the only person tht will know what is right.
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A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (8 August 2007):
 Hi, you can also have the baby and put it up for adoption, that is another option. Think about what you want and what your heart is telling you to do.
Good Luck, Mail me if you wanna talk about anything.
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (8 August 2007):
Not exactly advice, but maybe some inspiration. You don't have to have an abortion and no one has to drop out. I work with a woman who had her first child around your age. She took care of the child, was an honors student with good grades and finished high school and college. I think she did them both on time too. She's a high school history teacher and so is her husband, who is the father of the child.
She's about 25, close to being done with her Masters degree and they now have three kids. Despite all this, they somehow have money to go on out of town vacations at least once a year.
I'm not saying it is easy, there are definitely sacrifices and a lifestyle change, but it isn't impossible. And a lot of it depends on what kind of support system you have at home and what kind of support the father of your child has at home too.
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