A
male
age
51-59,
*illiam101067
writes:My girlfriend has been divorced since 1998 and has two boys. She still pays his bills for him (ex husbands), cleans his pool, and allows him to talk to her like she is a dog. If he calls her and she don't answer, he will call until she does. He lies to her, degrades her and she will not stand up to him. He allows their two boys to talk to her just like he does, and she allows this too. I have told her that her children need to respect her, and she needs to let the ex know she is not going to except his verbal abuse. She won't say anything to him or the boys. Her family and I and friends tell her she needs to put a stop to this. We have discussed marriage but i don't know. I try to talk to her about his but she gets mad. any suggestions?
View related questions:
divorce, her ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (3 August 2007):
 I am really glad you two have been able to talk about this and that she seems to now realise that she can begin to make changes for the better. She was obviously carrying a lot of unnecessary guilt from her previous marriage, and that isnt so unusual for a lot of women, but it's been a very long time now and she deserves a chance to move on and be happy. Give her as much support and love as you can and eventually things will come good.
Good luck and happiness to you both
Aunty Em xxx
A
male
reader, william101067 +, writes (3 August 2007):
william101067 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just wanted to say thanks for your input. My girlfriend and I got into a heated discussion over this issue. I explained to her that her friends and family all say to break the ties with him because she is giving him feelings there is still a chance. She said that he didn't want the divorce and feels sorry for him. I told her that her feeling sorry for him is really hurting our relationship very bad. She called me today saying she was sorry and that she knew that things had to change not only for her but for our relationship. Sooooo... hopefully things will get better. But thanks for your input.
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (31 July 2007):
She sounds like she has very low self esteem and maybe there is more to it than you know. Maybe he has some hold over her or there is fear there. Its very difficult to know what is really going on and obviously the children are learning from their fathers example and your partner is shouldering the abuse. If you cannot talk to her yourself, so she is encouraged to make some changes, perhaps she needs to seek the help of a counsellor. You obviously sound like you care for her and if she can get a little help to stop her ex treating her this way then perhaps the kids will learn to have more respect for their mother.
Aunty Em x
...............................
|
