A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am 23, me and my girlfriend who is 20 have been spending the last week together, we dont live together at all yet anyway. but we have been together 24/7 for the last week and today i wanted to go see some friends, she flipped and claimed i dont love her or want her round etc etc. i dont know what to say, she has made me feel selfish for wanting some time to myself. am i being selfish? should i want to be with her every living moment? is it natural for me to want some alone time? we have been together for a year and half. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, LauraE +, writes (13 August 2007):
Hi,
A claustrophobic relationship that doesn’t allow you both to get out and have some freedom cannot last. I think she is insecure, and so is judging all of your actions as if they are an indication of how you feel about her. It felt like rejection to her, even though it wasn’t. You need to be gentle, but firm about this. Reassure her that you do love her, but don’t give in to her demands to stay with her all of the time.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (13 August 2007):
 Its not unreasonable for you to want to spend time with your mates, especially after spending a whole week with your girlfriend. She sounds as if she is sulking a little. be calm with her, but tell her that you want and need time on your own sometimes, either with friends or by yourself. Maybe she is being a little insecure about other areas of your relationship. Perhaps give her some time to talk to you about anything thats bothering her, but stick to your guns, don't allow it to errupt into an argument. State your terms and what you want and find reasonable. Surely there will come a time when she wants to spend time with her friends or family without you...if not, maybe shes is just clingy and insecure.
'Absence makes the heart grow fonder'
Remind her of this. Your not being selfish!!
Aunty Em x
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