A
female
age
30-35,
*achylou92@hotmail.co.uk
writes:well im 15years old and i only lost my virginity 4 days after my 15th birthday,but recentelly everyone thinks i am a slut because i lost it to my ex-girlfriends, sisters boyfriend called peter i love him and have been sleeping with him since but no one knows, he is 24 and also i have started sleeping with a man called andy who is 26 and is dating a police woman and i dont know what to do. i love peter but he is 9 years older and going out with a friend and andy is 26 please give me some advice as i dont want to carry onthis way
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ex girlfriend, lost my virginity, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): For God's sake, you've been shamefuly sleeping with 2 adults at the same time, what would you feel if be cheated like this by your bf or partner in future? That not reasonable at all and I, like other commentators, think that you SHOULD stop it right now! Please think about your future too. Take care
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007): dont listen to what other people call you
but how do they know? dont tell people your personal life and do whatever you like
but remember to stay safe and only do what you feel completely comfortable
there is nothing physical stopping you from breaking up with either guy so if you wanna stop it... stop it yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007): heya hun, i've been in a similar situation to this and i hope it helps you. I lost my virginity when I was 14 to my boyfriend at the time. But when we split up, I started seeing a guy who was 22 and within 2 weeks we slept together. I didn't tell him i was 15 as i look kinda old for my age, i said i was 19. I told some mates and i fell out with 1 about a week after and within day it was all around the school i sleep around and most people still do think im a slag. I stopped seeing this guy because at the end of the day, hes an adult and i'm a child basically and no matter how old i look, nothings going to change that and we could both get in trouble and its not fair on him either because he didn't know. So I think you need 2 end it right away with both guys especially the 26 year old because no offence he sounds like a pedo and his gfs a police officer. Find someone your own age whos perfect for you, thats what i've done and im really happy. Hope this is some help to you, Emz xx
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A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (10 November 2007):
 hey,
don't you jsut realise that they just want you for sex!
why don't you go out with someone your own age! and if they say they love you why are they still with other women!
i think that you have to stop this behaviour : first it is wrong secondof all i think it is illegal!
good luck and stick to one guy!
byeXXX
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A
female
reader, Lovely_Mia +, writes (10 November 2007):
You have to be careful when dating older men, the fact that they both have girlfriends and you are dating 2 different men is quite worrying for someone of your age.
I think the best thing you can do is to confide in a close friend or parent for advice on what they think is best.
You have made it clear that you don't want to continue in this way my suggestion would be to think long and hard about the whole situation and who would be affected or hurt by it, if it feels wrong then that's probably a sign that you should end both relationships and try dating someone nearer to your own age.
I hope this helps you out in some way!
All the best and take care!
xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007): If you want to stop acting this way, only you have the power to do so. The way you're behaving is frankly, shocking. It's sad that you think so little of yourself to act this way. Have you given a single thought to the poor women whose boyfriends you're sleeping with? How humilliated are they going to be when they find out that their partners are having sex with a child?
One word of warning: if one of those guys' girfriends is a police woman, what's gonna happen when she finds out that her boyfriends been illegally having sex with an underage girl? Do you want to be partly responsible for someone going to jail? Think about that one.
If one of them is going out with a friend then if you have any morals or respect for that person you will stay away.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (10 November 2007):
 So you are 15, sleeping with a 24 year old man who has a girlfriend? And at the same time you are sleeping with a 26 year old man who is in another relationship too?
'Slut' is a nasty word, but it means promiscuous and sexual in a non-monogamous way. Truthfully you are being that, having affairs with two older men at once as you are. I hate to say this, but that does fit most peoples definition of 'slut'. That doesn't justify them calling you that, but it's no wonder it hurts so much when they do. It hurts because there is some truth to it.
The good news is you can do something about this, and about how you feel.
If you don't want to carry on this way then the the solution is simple: stop sleeping with both of them. And now.
The reason adults tell you to not sleep with someone at your age isn't because you can't physically do it. It's because sex stirs up all sorts of complicated emotions that you're not mature enough to handle. It's because sex needs trust, respect, honesty, and preferably love. That's what's happening to you know, and you're experiencing what it feels like when we don't do things right.
Learn from this. Pain exists to tell us we're doing something wrong, that's as true of emotional pain as it is of physical pain.
I suggest you stop having sex. Wait a while, at least til you're 16. And, when you do have sex again, these should be your criteria:
- Be with a boy that is with you only. Don't sleep with anyone who's in another relationship. That is dishonest and destined for more pain.
- Be with a boy that will publicly call you his 'girlfriend' and isn't ashamed to be with you. He should be proud of you and proud to be seen with you. And you with him.
- Really really stick to one guy at a time, and keep it to within a respectful relationship. You'll be much happier, the sex will be much better, and no one will call you nasty names.
The best way to feel good is to be good. And good things come to people who do the right thing.
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