A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend now for 2 years, we live together and everything. We have been though alot, and I'm starting to wonder if I'm fighting a losing battle with him, just last summer we were having problems with a girl texting and calling his phone, who he claimed he didn't know, finally 6 months later he told me the truth, that she was a friend from high school and they saw each other out and exchanged numbers. He claimed he didn't tell me because he knew I would flip out. After that battle was over, he started talking to a girl down the road, she has two kids, and they knew each other a couple of years ago, but the only thing is he would always walk down the street to see her while I was at work. Now our issue is sex, its like he is not interested in having sex anymore, I'm always the 1st to start it, and he always seems bother that I want to have sex, yet he has tons of porns and magazines, and I keep noticing that my lotion has been used, so I guess he is playing with himself, I don't understand how playing with himself, could be better then us having sex... any tips or answers?
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female
reader, feelinlonley +, writes (15 July 2010):
he is definelty cheating on you. When a man ignores you after paying attention to you, if he has a sudden chsnge in his sex habits and if he even starts talking different then you know that he is getting it elsewhere. Men are creatures of habit. When they change you know something funny is going on.
A
male
reader, flspy +, writes (11 August 2008):
Ok, basically you are screwed. Did you ever think that your nagging is just turning him off? Here's a little clue for all of you ladies out there- men get bored after a while, even if the sex is great. Brad Pitt is probably already sick of Angelina Jolie. Sometimes, they get so bored they just cheat, like the loser you are shacked up with. He's a cheater- and once a cheater, always a cheater.
Sorry, but's that's the way it is. If he was turned on by you, he would show it. He doesn't care, and you should move out ASAP and not even think about staying with him, no matter what he says. Find somebody that respects themselves- and you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): I know that you must feel hurt first of all.Its easy for women to open up and let a man know whats bothering us.I am going through almost the same thing myself but yet there is porn he turns to and when we do something the porn is turned on and makes me feel like I cant please him anymore. .I try to think this is a way to spice things up but I am not so sure. As far as him going to see other woman he does the same thing but thats when trust has to kick in otherwise I would have left him the first time he went to go see one.Do you love him? Does he love you? If he is lying then I would have to say get rid of him not and stop waisting your time.Men lie but so do women but its how much you have built to determine whether to stay or go.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): You should stop wasting your time and have more respect for yourself. Living with someone only shows that you do not need committment., You do not have exclusive rights to him and him you! And he is displaying that in every way, shape and form. He is not ready to settle down and you should leave that releationship asap and not live with men until you are married and have the committment from a man that will at least most likely prevent this type of behaviour barring the fact you pick the wrong person. Clear your mind and heart and heal first. Then move forwsrd.
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A
male
reader, LoveReunited1 +, writes (11 November 2007):
Men do not like to talk about those issues if it will cause the female to explode on them. They actually will sit down and talk if you create an open and honest environment. Maybe hes bored.Have you changed up your sex methods? Try different things, that will make him desire you more. He may pretend not to notice, but guys see everything.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (11 November 2007):
 It sounds like he's drifted away from you emotionally. The other women, and now the porn, are his way of redirecting his energy and emotions. Right now he doesn't want or need sex with you because he's getting his gratification via porn.
You ask how porn could be better than sex for him? It's not as simple as that. It's not necessarily that it's 'better', but rather it comes without the emotional baggage attached, and without you attached. It's 'good enough' and a whole lot less complicated.
He needs to decide whether he really wants to be with you or not. Then make a clear commitment one way or the other. And you need to be ready to leave him if he won't do this.
You may find that your threatening to leave snaps him out of this. He may by trapped in a non-committal situation because he's afraid of commitment. Sometimes for these people (I suffer from this myself a bit unfortunately), ending a relationship is just as scary as fully committing to one: certainty is scary in all its forms. Instead, a kind of half-in half-out situation is comfortable. Chasing other women, and porn, can be a way of keeping distant enough to feel 'half-out' of the relationship.
Either way, it's unhealthy behaviour and he needs to shape up or get out.
I hope it works out for you.
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A
male
reader, LEXO  +, writes (11 November 2007):
 i believe yor concern is not simple, i am not an expert on this field but, i see onething, were you matched for real in your sex life/ have you asked your self about the past sex life of yours? If there is no big problem, still the solution is at your hand, you have to and should make love in a very palatable way, and to tell you some try to make your request on sex a kind of surprise , do not make it a usual thing, tell him that you love him, and feed yourself and your mate simple and energy giving foods just before sex.
wish you all the best
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A
male
reader, pyan  +, writes (11 November 2007):
Hi
i don't expect there is anything wrong with you, and guys playing with themself is normal. do you play with him and do you do the same old same old we like to try new things. not sure if this helps but replay if you need ideas
bye
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