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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Me and my bf have been together for over a year now, and have recently started having sex. Don't get me wrong, I love it. But I've began to have a problem. He wants doggy all the time... He has this way of making sure we do it, and I try to move around into positions where he can't, as much, but it doesn't work.It really hurts me, and when I'm groaning, I'm groaning in pain. He loves it, and I don't want to offend him or put him off. I'm scared of seeming like I 'can't take him' when I could, just it really hurts... Is this unusual? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010): You need to take control in order to enjoy it. Have him hold still, you back into him and you do the guidence slowley at first, kyou do the work while he holds still you will enjoy this many times over and he will take over be best results for both of you and will really enjoy the sex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010): You need to position youself first, have him hold still and you back into him you guide it in correctly and you do the work for a while, while he holds still start off slowly and then move it faster and then he takes over and beleive me you will enjoy it over and over again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou so much for all your help :) I feel much better
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male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (4 January 2008):
There's nothing unusual about it all.When you position yourself in doggy style you are actually reducing the distance between your vagina and cervix,which is the reason it will hurt for most women all over the world.Some enjoy that pain ,others like you don't.You really need to communicate so you can try out other variations that are more comfortable for you.If he refuses then you also refuse to have sex.Demand fairness.It also seems he's got a porno mind because porn makes us believe that only when a woman is in pain does she enjoy sex,which i'm sure you've proved to be wrong.Talk to him or just give your sex a break.
Good luck.
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (4 January 2008):
 "He has this way of making sure we do it, and I try to move around into positions where he can't, as much, but it doesn't work."
This sounds worrying, for several reasons:
- You two are not communicating about sex, and you don't feel you can.
- He's pushing you into doing something you don't want
- You're trying to resist (physically) but failing.
These are bad signs!
But, you came here, which is a good sign. You need to do the following:
- Start TALKING openly with your boyfriend about sex. About what you like and don't like, and what he' likes and don't like. You can't just nudge each other in bed and expect the other to telepathically understand.
- Especially important, you need to make it clear to him that doggy-style, at least as you are doing it now, is hurting you. Then you can try (with him... communicating), to change the technique to see if you can stop it hurting. Plus he can use positions that you like (and also other things like oral sex, foreplay, etc).
Best of luck. Above all else, just try to talk openly about what you want (emotionally and physically) with your boyfriend. That is the key to a good relationship, sexually as well as generally.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): You should never be forced or coerced into doing anything you do not want to do, and it sounds like he realizes it hurts you. This would indicate to me that he enjoys hurting you, and that is a pretty good reason to think about whether this boyfriend is really right for you. But if he doesn't know, certainly tell him.
This position is uncomfortable or even painful for some women, and they simply shouldn't allow it.
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female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (3 January 2008):
 Reader anon. Doggy also means having vaginal sex too and not just anal sex. It is so called this position because that is the way dogs and other animals do it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): I think the only reason why it hurts for you is because you're not enjoying that position. Try talking to him about how you want to try different positions and how you'd really enjoy it if you did. Don't tell him that you're not enjoying doggie, because he might mistake it for you not enjoying sex altogether :S Btw, DO you actually like it, honestly, or do you just do it to please your man?
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female
reader, cd206 +, writes (3 January 2008):
 Not at all.Doggy style allows for deeper penetration which is great for him but not so great for you, especially if he is above average size and banging repeatedly against your cervix. Talk to him. If you're mature enough to be having sex you also need to be mature enough to speak to him about any worries or concerns you have. Wrap it up as a compliment. Tell him it hurts you because he's so big and could you experiment with other positions that would work for both of you and save the doggy for special occassions? I'm sure he'd be mortified if he knew he was hurting you and he probably keeps pushing for doggy style because he's mistaking your groans of pain for pleasure and this is giving him an enormous ego boost. Proceed carefully. Guys can be ultrasensitive when it comes to sex but it's not unreasonable to ask for a little enjoyment out of sex for yourself too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): Maybe you should see your GP as there are some conditions like endometriosis, which can make sex painful. However, what concerns me more is that your guy is dictating the position and only wants to do it like that. Sit him down and explain to him that you would maybe like to use another position sometimes; for example, with you squatting on top the penetration can be as deep (but without the knee pain!) X
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): have anal sex is the most painful form of sex. it can be made to be very stimulating, but only if a LOT of lubricant is used. This way it wills lide in and out and can cause the most sensational pleasure.
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