A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I are 16 and have been going out for just under a year now, we love eachother to bits, had our first time together etc, i couldn't imagine my world without her at the moment. Tody she told me she's going to a sleepover at her friend's house tomorrow and 2 of her other girlfriends are going, I know all these girls and they're good friends of both of ours, however they drink sometimes and I know one or two of them go to the kind of parties 16 year olds shouldn't go to, so I don't trust them even though they're nice people to be around. My girlfriend said they might have alcohol and this is highly concerning to me. She told me she's not stupid enough to get drunk, she wants to try it jut to see what it tastes like. She also expressed inadvertantly that friends at school walk all over her and she feels like doing that would make people see her as less of a wimp. I just don't know how to express to her that doing that won't make anyone think any better of her. I'm sensitive aout alcohol as a friend of mine was close to me and as her depression started she began to drink , saying similar things like "im not dumb enough to get drunk or addicted" and alcohol lead to her death. I'm worried for my girl's safety and I don't know how to get her to see that it's a stupid idea and would hurt me. Any ideas from peopl who have been in the same situation or not? I'm scared for her
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male
reader, lovelynightmare  +, writes (26 February 2009):
 I've seen some other posters on this site really regret what they did under the influence (cheating, fighting, etc.) and I'm glad you let her know it's not a good idea. Alcohol has got to be one of the most overrated things by teenagers, you do stupid crap you would never normally do, and it hurts like hell in the morning.
But in the end, it is her life and she gets to choose, just hope for the best that night that she will be safe.
lovelynightmare
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (26 February 2009):
 I agree with goldyloxx, you have to let her go and do this. You cannot stop her from living her life and not everyone that drinks turns into an addict.
If she has never even tasted alcohol before I imagine she wont like the taste very much as it takes some getting used to, and she will probably only managed one or two drinks and that will be it. She needs to try it; she will come accross it at some point in her life so you might as well just accept it is happening and get on with it.
You saif your friend was depressed hence the reason why she became an addict, your girlfriend doesnt sound depressed hence the same thing wont happen to her, try not to worry so much. Alcohol can be nice, and if used sensibly in moderation there is no problem with it.
A nice glass of wine with dinner can be lovely, just as a cold beer on a hot day can be too. It all depends on the situation and today too many people drink to get drunk. If you know your girlfriend wont get drunk then there is nothing really to worry about.
Try not to put too much pressure on her and just accept that this is part of growing up.
I hope this helps!
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A
male
reader, cupids_friend +, writes (26 February 2009):
Okay your 16 and that is a bit young but some people you can tell something and thry would not listen but I am not saying that's your girl but look her in the eyes and tell her that you care (if yall tell each other yall love one another say that)about her very much and if she is going to drink well then you want to be their for and with her so that you know she will be okay. She will relize that you care very much if you have any other questions please ask. I hope this helps
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A
female
reader, goldyloxx +, writes (26 February 2009):
 maybe you should let her go and enjoy herself with her friends. I understand your fears round her friends drinking and what happened to your friend. But maybe try to trust her she has told you the truth about where she is going and what they will be doing. Not everyone who drinks turned out to be an addict. You never know she might just hate the experience, but by allowing her to go is in a sense letting her grow and trying out new experiences makes us stronger. Just be supportive, let her know how you feel about it but you are there for her. I suggest that you talk to someone about your experience with your friend that died cause thats really deep stuff your dealing with...hope that helped
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A
female
reader, cupid77 +, writes (26 February 2009):
 I would warn her to stay away from hard liquor. I drank myself into a comma when I was young and dumb. I was drinking it like it was beer because I didn't know better. If she sticks to beer then she won't OD or anything. Experimenting is normal at your age. You chose not to, but she has to choose for herself. Comparing her situation to your friend who was suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts isn't fair to your girlfriend. She is just a curious teenager. As long as she is safe, I don't think that I would make a big deal about it. She told you that she just wanted to try a sip. You nagging her might just cause her to leave you, and you wouldn't want that. There is nothing wrong with talking about it. I just wouldn't tell her she is wrong several times. Remember in the end it is her choice.
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