A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am very much in love with a woman who is also one of my best friends, she is also married. Her marriage isn't a good one, and she has talked to me a lot about being afraid to leave her husband because of being alone, because of her kids, and other reasons that have never included anything about loving him and wanting her marriage to work. I value her as a person and as a friend very much, and I hate to see her hurt. But I also have very strong feelings for her. Should I share my feelings with her?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): Life is too short to be spent unhappily.Tell her.What if she loves you back?Then you would have lost a chance.But let me warn you humans tend to stay on in the loveless marriage and suffer.
Let us know what happened.
A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (27 February 2009):
 Sharing your feelings may seem like a good thing but it may just complicate the situation. If you can support her financially and give her a place to stay if she breaks up with her husband then that's ok. You may not see the bad side at the min, what if she only likes you as a friend? If you tell her this you could end up losing her! For the min I would let her try and make her marriage work! If it doesn't work out I would tell her but at the moment she has a priority to her husband! X
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (27 February 2009):
 I think it is best if you keep your feelings quiet, it will only effect your relationship as friends. She clearly isnt ready to leave her husband so she wont leave him for you either.
If she is ever going to make this decision then she needs to do it for herself, not for another man. You should be there as a friend to support her, and help her make the right decision for her and her children. Maybe once she has left her husband (if she ever does) then you can come clean about your feelings.
Getting involved with a married woman is never a good idea, while she may tell you she doesnt love him anymore, you have no idea what goes on in their home when no-one else can see. You have no guarantee that they have stopped sleeping together, that she has stopped telling him she loves him etc. Even if they do split up, she will take some time to get over the end of her marriage.
I would advise you to try and move on, this is not a relationship you should be pursuing. I know it will be hard for you but at the moment this is unrequited love, nothing more. If you try and move on, try to meet new people etc then it will be easier just to stay her friend without feeling the need to confess your feelings every time you see her.
I hope this helps!
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