A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend gets jealous if other men hit on Me. For example, someone sent Me roses for valentines day and I didn't know from who. He got angry at Me. How is this my fault I still don't know who they were from. I went back home for 1 week once and only called 1 time was busy with family hadn't seen them in 2 years so he kissed another girl because he thought I was cheating and that's why I didn't call. He can go a couple of days and not contact Me and acts like no problem. But the other night at work I left to run an errand for work gone 30 minutes and he was angry questioning the errand I ran. I don't get where he is coming from. I love him but I don't know how to reassure him. Maybe has guilty mind since he still lives with his ex. I don't know any advice to get him to relax?
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (2 March 2009):
 This relationship is bad news; I think you should get out now before you get hurt any more than you already have!
Why on earth is he still living with his ex? And why are you putting up with him kissing another girl?
This guy clearly has trust issues here; if he thinks you are cheating so then thinks its ok to kiss another girl, then he has got some serious problems. I dont think you can make this work with this guy - no amount of reassurance will help.
What he needs to do is move out from the house with his ex, spend some time alone getting to grips with his insecurities, and probably see a therapist to deal with the trust issues. And all this will probably take a year or longer; do you want to be waiting around for him for this long?
I think you should get out of this and be with someone who is fully available (i.e. not living with anyone!) and who treats you with the respect you deserve.
I hope this helps!
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (2 March 2009):
 I agree with the other posters. There are red flags all over this situation. These behaviors display controlling patterns. Is it okay for him to have sex with another girl because he feels as if you are? Or maybe that would be an excuse to allow him to cheat, by blaming his actions on you.
I would end this relationship. I feel as if this is going to end up bringing you heartbreak if you remain with him. He said he thought you were cheating, so he kissed another girl. Does "thinking" justify his actions? I don't think so. My ex cheated on me. That was her choice. Although she had, my choice was not to cheat, because that is not who I am. Why would I allow the bad behavior of someone be cause for my choosing bad behavior. I take responsibility of my actions. If I were to cheat, that would be a choice, which I couldn't blame on another person. He is doing so, even though it's not your fault, it's his that he kissed the other one.
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (2 March 2009):
 I worry about this relationship. I have a bad feeling that he may be getting mad at you for these things because he is the one who is guilty of doing something. He shouldn't be feeling guilty for living with his ex.. though he probably feels guilty because something else is probably going on besides just living in the same place. I think he's being overly jealous and I think you are better off without him.
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