A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a question... At the age of 16 I lost my virginity to someone who I dated for only 2 weeks but we went on to be together for 4 and 1/2 years. I dated and slept with 3 other guys. 3 of the 4 guys I ended up being in love with but I am now 21 years old and I was wondering does that make me a slut? To have slept with 4 guys in one year? First one we broke up in the end of march. I slept with this guy I was close friends with for 7 years and it was a one night stand thing then I ended up being with the third guy in april slept with him 2 weeks after. I was with him for a month and a 1/2 then 6 months later I slept with another guy who I was with for 2 and 1/2 months. Does that make me a slut?
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broke up, lost my virginity, one night stand Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): not at all. some girls sleep with fours guys in a week! Just remember to do it for the right reasons.
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (8 April 2009):
 Different people have different standards. It's really in the mind of the person judging (or hopefully not judging) you.
Personally I'd say 4 in one year isn't a big deal, especially in your circumstances as you describe them. However, if you did that every year, then after a while you might raise a few eyebrows. But like i said, that's just me, different people will react differently.
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A
female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (8 April 2009):
 We all have different experiences. I have slept with 6 guys between the age of 18-21 but I am now 33 and have been married to the last of the 6 for ages so it soon wasn't an issue because we met when I was 21.
When you are young there are a lot of opportunities for sex. The way I saw it was that there were as many opportunities, and more besides that I didn't take up.
For a guy the limiting factor seems to be if a girl says no and doesn't have sex and holds out.
For a girl the limiting thing seems to be the need to hold back and not sleep with everybody.
Really you are in a no-win situation. If you say no and hold out guys loose interest, or worse they say they love you and think that will get you to sleep with them. Or holding off from sex can also make the relationship more intense and serious too soon because you said you would only sleep with them if it's long-term or serious. So before you know it they tell you it's serious even though you have only been together weeks. So it's not if you sleep with someobody or not that determines if you get hurt, it's the emotional attachment and if you know eachothers life stories.
I think these days everybody does experiment a bit, just keep an upper limit in mind.
However before you know it, you could meet Mr Right and then the numbers will halt and you won't be looking for any more.
Fiona.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): Hi
No you are not a slut! FIVE'S A BIT IFFY!!!!!!!
ONLY JOKING. no! four does not make you a slut...and anyone that calls you one is sadly putting a label on you that THEY THINK SUITS....you are young and enjoying yourself...always be safe and use protection and only if you BOTH want to do it. Please don't ever feel bad you have no reason too...even if others think you should feel bad for sleeping with 4 men in one year ..wait till your my age you'll do four all at once...JOKE ! live and let live!
via con dios!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): Don't worry so much & no your not a slut dear. Your young so might as well have your fun now and most of all be safe.
I sure had "fun" at your age and don't regret it at all!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): short answer is no as guys generally expect sex after a period of dating. longer answer is that you should think about why the relationships aren't lasting longer. there could be many reasons for this & you asked the original post because(?) you are concerned you're sleeping around too much(?) if u r not concerned then clearly continue living & enjoying life. good luck god bless
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): Sorry, yes you are a 'slut'. You shouldn't sleep with any guy you are not dating for a while and attached to. 4 guys in one year just doesn't cut it.
If you were in your late 20's and slept with 4 guys total, my answer would be different.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): NO!!!! some people sleep with hundreds of people in a year...some go for a differnt guy every night!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 February 2009):
 If you don't feel like one, don't put that label on yourself, and don't let others put that label on you.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (27 February 2009):
 No of course not, 4 men in one year is nothing really. As long as you are safe then it doesnt matter at all.
Everyone is different with the number of people they sleep with; some see sex as a sacred thing that should be shared between two people that love each other whereas other people think sex is just a bit of fun and there doesnt need to be any emotions attached.
Dont worry about the number of people you sleep with. What is more important is that when you do have sex with someone it feels right and that you dont regret it afterwards. If it feels right in your heart then just go with the flow!
Hope this helps!
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