A
female
age
30-35,
*oGreen126
writes:Curious about moral convictions on sex. I was raised Christian, and sex outside of marriage is a sin--period. What are others' thoughts?Thanks so much!--GG
View related questions:
christian Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Burns231 +, writes (17 February 2010):
I was not raised with any sort of religious "guidance" and I feel that it is completely up to the person if they want to have sex or not. For me I am still a virgin and I would rather wait for that special girl to come along before I lose it. I have had the opportunity before in the past but I did not care about them like that to want to have sex with them (even though I could have).
If it happens to be that she is a "wait until marriage" type then I am fine with that. If she is not and I really do care and love her then I dont see anything wrong with that either. Basically as long as you care/love the other person then there is nothing wrong with it.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (17 February 2010):
 If that is what you believe in then great, and dont let anyone try and talk you out of it because your beliefs are your own, and you have to stay true to yourself.
I however, am somewhere in between a Christian and an atheist if that is possible?! I do actually believe in God however I dont believe he created the world, due to the evidence I dont actually believe in any of the Old Testament and the New Testament is still questionable....I think while religion is good in principle it can lead to blind faith where you dont use your intelligence and personal judgement in situations, instead you do as your told because that is what "God" said. I believe that God would want us to be happy and make the most of our lives on earth. For what reason we are here is unknown, but God would want us to be good people and treat others well. I think it really is as simple as that!
I think the bible is more of an early legal system rather than something spoken from the words of God - so the part where it does say not to have sex before marriage is again another form of an early law trying to control sexual behaviour and control the spread of disease (after all, there were no treatments for sexually transmitted diseases back then so no sex before marriage was a very sensible rule).
I feel that the idea of no sex before marriage is nice in principle, and if both partners are virgins until marriage then it makes sense. But we are now in 2010, and most of what the bible says is quite outdated.
Sex should be with someone you love, and it should be special because it is the most intimate thing you can do with a person, the technicalities of sex imply that really we should not just let this happen with any old person we meet and it should be with someone you love. In my experience - sex is all the more special with someone you love and someone who loves you.
However the idea of waiting until I was married doesnt work for me - I have had a few partners who have been truly terrible in bed, and even with direction from me got no better. I really liked these guys, and had strong feelings there but the sex was that terrible I could not continue the relationship. It pretty much reduced my feelings for that man, which I know is harsh but I could never be happy with a terrible sex life! So to run that risk of waiting until you are married, then finding out your new husband is terrible in bed and no matter how hard you try it gets no better - well that would mean a divorce for me! So I guess I would rather go into a marriage, which is after all for life, knowing exactly what I was in for! You need to know everything about your partner before you get married in order to know if you are going to have a happy, successful marriage - and that must include sex. After all, if you know very little about your partner sexually, and your partner knows nothing about you sexually - then you are missing out a huge element of that person!
Humans are all sexual beings, with unique and individual tastes. Some people have an incredibly high sex drive, others are not so interested. If you are not matched well sexually, then this is a recipe for disaster and probably the cause of most arguments in a relationship! You would not date a man with a personality trait you dislike, so obviously you would not date a man whose sexual preferences did not match or were not similar to yours. So to go into a marriage completely blind on this aspect of a person is a big risk, it might all work out ok but there is a good chance it might not!
Aside from that risk there is no major reason why you should not save yourself, but again there is no real reason in the modern society we live in that dictates we must save ourselves until marriage. It is a very personal decision - after all we have to live with our decisions forever so it has to be the right thing for YOU, not what the bible says for you to do, not what your parents tell you to do, not what society says you should do.....only you can decide for yourself what is right. As long as you are happy with your decisions and live life without regret then your life will be a good one!
...............................
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (17 February 2010):
I think this is a personal decision. There are lots of things that are not acceptable in the bible. Eg. Masturbation is a sin (yes its in there), adultery is a sin( yet almost every major person in the bible was an adulterer or a murderer), thousands of rules about being unclean if you touch this or that, no working on the Sabbath (God help our poor doctors and nurses who disobey this).. I literally could be here all day. Its between you and God what your morals are and your conscience will tell you. Generally I believe sex before marriage should be avoided but now that I have teen children, I am more worried about them not having enough information on condoms and using them properly than on telling them only about abstinence which is unlikely in this porno generation. The number of 15 year old pregnant teen girls on this site speak for themselves.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010): I'm a moral relativist, in that I hold all morality to be relative to one's own upbring, cultural background, personality, etc. Sex for me is just sex. Little more than glorified masturbation unless you truly care about the person youre doing it with.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010): Birth control, paternity tests, STD treatments . . . we have come up with some nice ways to tone down the worst problems with casual sex. But people's emotional feelings about love and sex are another matter entirely. We haven't done anything to fix the problems created by casual sex in our minds.
Most women are not built to happily have casual sex with a dozen men who don't care about them. Most men are not built to happily marry a woman who has casually slept with a dozen other men. Children are not served as well by single-parent families as by two-parent families.
People can try to lay the blame for these problems wherever they want, but the problems are here to stay. They won't be cured by getting rid of religions or inventing any new birth controls. We have radically changed the rules of sex & marriage in a short time. It has created as many problems as it fixed.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 February 2010):
I was also raised as a Christian. But I believe that there are far worse things than sex out of marriage.
...............................
|
