A
male
age
36-40,
*eraciousone
writes:Hello everyone, i have a problem. there is one girl. am older than her. am 23 and she's 18. we met on the internet. we are planning to see each other. we supposed to see each other on valentine day but she disappointed me. when am calling her, she's not picking my call about six good times and is somebody that picked the call that time. later in the evening, she sent an apology message telling me that she went to flat Barry that's why she wouldn't pick the call. she was sleeping then and is her brother that picked the call. I believe her and we fix another date which is coming Sunday. when we are chatting yesterday. I told her how i want our relationship to be and i need a decent, true and honest person. I dislike lying and deceitful. I told her that i want to develop a strong relationship with her if she give me her heart. she told that she need a person that can sponsor her in her education not a person who will break her heart and run away and i told her that i wouldn't break her heart. Once she give me her heart. i will be happy and she will be happy too. i told her many things.Now my question is what does it mean when a girl told you that she need a someone that can sponsor her not a person who will break her heart. am confused about this statement. i don't have much money like that,maybe she need my money not true love. another question is does a relationship goes with money or not. please help me before is too late.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): sponsor as in money?she could have meant that she wants somebody there for her emotionally, being supportive of her choices.if she knows about your financial situation, i can guarantee you she does not want you to be her sugar daddy... but then again, i'm not 100% on what she meant by "sponsor".just keep your guard up, don't give up just because a bunch of people on here told you to get out of the relationship. meet with her, see if you really like her... if you do and she likes you back, then go for it. there's no harm in trying.
A
male
reader, Cowboy255  +, writes (17 February 2010):
basically it sounds like she wants a sugar daddy someone who's going to pay for her bills and after they are paid it's possible she could stay but i really doubt that in my case i would maybe meet her but avoid getting to close to contact but dont let your emotions blind what your eyes can actually see. In this case i think you will proably get used if you go further and it might be a good idea to refrain from that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2010): this is a scam, plain and simple.
She is trying to get money out of you, I know because I feel for it about 2 years ago and still feel so ashamed of myself for believing what now is so obvious.
No one who wants to be with you will ask for money ok. end of story. Cut all contact now
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (17 February 2010):
 Sounds like she is using you for money I'm afraid! I bet when she finds out you cannot afford to sponsor her through her education she will drop you faster than you could imagine and be off trawling the internet for another rich sucker to pay her way through life.
Look, she isnt the sort of girl you want to be involved with so it is best just to tell her you dont have that sort of money to fund her education and you are not looking for that type of relationship - see what she says to that. Just tell her you want a mutually respectful relationship where you are equals, rather than one person being the sole provider. I think you are best staying away from this girl though, she sounds like bad news!
Now as for the question about relationships and money - bear in mind I am talking from a Western perspective now and I'm not totally sure how the culture is over in your country. But I know that traditionally men are supposed to provide for women - i.e. the man gets a job and earns the money while the woman stays at home to take care of the house and children (to put it simply).
But society has changed a lot and these traditional roles are not so prevalent anymore. Women get good educations and go on to have successful careers, and they can earn as much money or more than a man. So money does have a place in a relationship, but it is not expected any more that a man should be the sole provider for a woman, as women should really be contributing at least to the household income.
I'm not quite sure what you mean by your question though - are you asking whether you have to have lots of money to be in a relationship? The answer to that is no, relationships should be about love not based on how much money the other person has. It helps for both people to have some money so they can go out on dates together and do activities together, but even still the most important thing when you love someone is to be with them, regardless of what you do together.
I'm not sure how much it costs to get a good education in your country, but it is clear that this girl you are talking to is looking to get an education which is a good sign. However if she needs money then clearly her parents cannot afford to send her to school, therefore it seems she is looking for a man (i.e. a sponsor) to pay for her education. This can be quite common for internet relationships - people often have alterior motives with online dating, so when they may seem genuine at first, you often find they are looking for something else when you get to know them better.
I think you just need to leave this girl alone, let her find some other poor guy who she can use for his money. You need to find a genuine girl who likes you for who you are, not how much money you can give her!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 February 2010):
I think this is a girl you need to avoid. Sounds to me like she's after money and nothing else. Cut contact.
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