A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey :) Okay i really need some help x im 15 years old and well im on a couple of teenage dating websites, i only joined them at first to make some friends but i met this really lovely guy. Hes so sweet and we clicked instantly. weve been talking now for about 2 months and each day i like him more and more we have both told eachother how much we like eachother. He really likes me and i really like him. We have decided to meet up in a couple of months. But there is a problem we have both sent some pictures to eachother none of them sexy or revealing just some normal pictures. his were always quite blurry so i didnt have a good idea of what he looked like. But today i got a perfectly clear one of him and well... Lets just lets just say looks aren't really on his side i dont want to sound mean or vain. Im not partically stunning either but i dont find him that attractive. I think he's so lovely tho soo im abit confused his personailty is brilliant but now ive got lingering in the back of my head about the way he looks i try to focus on the good side but i just cant help it :/ I really really liked him before but now ive seen his picture its sorta set me back abit. soo what should i do should i stop being so silly and just focus on his personailty or should i take it into concideration ??? help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (13 May 2011):
 I back what k_c100 says. If you aren't attracted, you won't be able to have a relationship.Is there any way you'd be able to see him on webcam? Maybe talk to him via Skype? That way you guys can see each other in real time. You might find that he may not be very photogenic and looks better on cam. I like Skype because you can hear the persons voice, you can see their facial expressions, when they're confused, happy, upset. You get to see them smile. It's wonderful when you're far away from family/loved ones. :P
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey thanks for all your help some of it has been brilliant.
Well first of all he looks okayish even tho he has a mono-brow -.-. but i dont think i could imagine kissing him but you see whenever i try and be distant or perhaps mention some sort of excuss he ses something really sweet and the guilt just sorter sets in.
I dont consider looks to be everything and i most defointly dont judge people because of them. He has one of the most amazing personailtys ever and i just dont want to hurt him because i know how much he likes me.
I will think about this decision abit more but thanks for all the advise
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A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (13 May 2011):
 Hello,
If you feel like this then don't meet up with him or further anything. It's not fair to lead people on etc. So you now need a way out?
Ok, depending on what information he already has....
1, Tell him your parents are not allowing you to meet up with anybody online.
2, You go missing and delete him.
3, Downgrade the relationship to cyber friends only
4, Mention you have met another guy,
5, Become distant.
I don't like deception or half truths so in all fairness, I would just mention about your parents not allowing you.
Then let things go. Thanks.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (13 May 2011):
 Well looks are important - I know you dont want to seem shallow, but you cant have a relationship if you are not attracted to your partner, it will never last if you are not attracted to him.
So I guess this is up to you - was his picture really that bad? Knowing how he looks, can you imagine kissing him? Dont feel bad for being vain etc, it is not vanity, it is just a question of compatiblity. If you are not attracted to him, then you are not compatible. Good personality but no attraction = friendship, not a relationship. You need that physical attraction to make this more than a friendship, without it you will never be able to do all the normal things that couples do.
So now you have to make a decision - are you really not at all attracted and just want to be friends with him? Or do you want to meet up with him and make your mind up then? If you do meet up with him, please be very careful and take a friend with you - meeting people online is very dangerous especially at your age. I know you have been talking for a while, and if you have seen a photo then that is good, but still, he might not be who he says he is and that could just be a photo he has taken from someone else. Always be safe when meeting up with people you have met online, take a friend and tell your parents where you are going and what time you will be home.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (13 May 2011):
 SweetieThere is usually a good reason why someone would rather meet people on line than face to face. Some are ill and confined to home or a wheelchair. Other have social anxieties that make it easier for them to chat online, than go out into the real world.And other's, like your friend, are very sweet loving people, who were blessed with a great personality but not so great looks.So to answer your question, well the truth is only you can decide. I can tell you that the more you like someone the less their looks will matter to you. But if your are not attracted to someone, and sure you never will be then it's best not to lead them on. Tell him you want to stay cyber friends but can't meet up with him. Say your parents won't let you meet up with someone you met online, or tell him you met a guy at school or something.Sorry things didn't work out for you...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2011): Hey, I'm 17. First of all, are you sure that the website your on that you met him on is safe?? If it definitely is, make sure you meet in a really public place, just in case. Okay, back to your problem :) Sometimes, personality is enough. My best friend is one of the most gorgeous people I've ever met in my life. Her boyfriend...ehh. She loves him so much though because they just click. That is enough for some people. AND if you end up just not liking him at all, you can just say that you're not comfortable dating someone off of the internet even though you thought you were and it just won't work... I hope this helps.
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