A
female
age
26-29,
*rtsyGirl
writes:So I was recently talking to my boyfriend and I mentioned that I don't like myself and feel fat. He then gave me a big speech about how much he loves me and that I look beautiful and attractive, even though I am overweight(though not obese, I'm 5'2" and about 155lbs)Now I know he was being honest, I could tell in his voice, but it didn't help me any. I still don't feel better about my slightly too large curves or my not-so-flat tummy. So I guess I just need some advice on how to see myself better. I am trying to loose weight(I eat right and am active) but it is VERY slow going due to a thyroid problem. My BF tells me I'm bringing myself down, which is probably true, but I have a feeling it's bringing him down as well and that's the last thing I want.So what are some things I can do to boost my mood about my not-so-model-like appearance?Thanks in Advance!Cheers
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female
reader, ArtsyGirl +, writes (13 May 2011):
ArtsyGirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all the advice and help! I do not want to be model like, I was just comparing to that. That's the last thing I want to be. I love having curves, and my bf likes them too haha. But I would just appreciate loosing a few pounds.
I do feel better now and have a different view point to look at it from. I know looks are not everything, mostly I'm doing this to be healthier, not prettier, so I'm always striving to better myself. I have no plans to starve myself or do drugs to loose weight though, I'm not that desperate. I'm just going to keep doing my thing and hope for the best. And I do feel healthy, but I know I can feel healthier.
Thank you again!
Cheers
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (13 May 2011):
 I am 5"3 and I weigh 154lbs, so we are very similar! I am now 23 and I have come to terms with my weight, yes I dont look like a skinny model but I have curves in all the right places, I run 3 times a week and have just completed my first 10k race....I am not fat, I think this is just the shape my body was designed to be, and I lam happy with that!
Yes I would love to lose 20lbs, and I will keep on trying to be active and eat well, but if my body doesnt want to shift the weight at least I know I am healthy on the inside.
There are so many skinny people out there who eat junk, dont exercise, live of caffine and cigarettes to stay thin.....they are so incredibly unhealthy! Just because someone looks thin on the outside, does not mean they are healthy on the inside. So keep that in mind at all times - just because these models or celebrities you see are thin, does not mean they are healthy and chances are you are healthier than them. At the end of the day, health is all that really matters - as long as you look after yourself, eat well and exercise no-one can ask for any more from you.
Having a figure like yours doesnt make you any less attractive than someone who is thin - you are just different to skinny people and that is no bad thing. Every human on earth is different, it doesnt make any one person less attractive than the next person. We all have good bits and bad bits, you just have to learn to love the good bits and learn how to make the most of them, and then learn how to accept the bad bits and get good at covering them up.
Take me for instance - I have big boobs, big hips and a small waist. I am pretty hourglass in shape so I am quite lucky in that sense. So obviously highlighting my boobs and waist is a good idea, and trying to skim over or minimise my bum, thighs and waist is also a good idea. So I wear a lot of dresses that have belts around the waist to emphasise the smallest area of my body (my waist). I never wear baggy tunics or smock top type things as these look great on skinny girls, but they make me look far bigger as they are shapeless and make you look twice the size you actually are. I know it sounds odd when you are a bit bigger, but wearing fitted clothing actually makes you look slimmer, wearing anything baggy or floaty makes you look a whole lot worse!
Good underwear is key, I have a great pair of tummy control shorts that I wear under all my dresses as they slim my tummy, bum and thighs. It is not the most sexy look in the world but it makes your clothes look so much better!
All I can say is that you just need to learn how to dress for your shape, you are not big at all and there are plenty of clothes out there that will make you look fantastic and feel fantastic. And give it time - the older you get the more you learn to accept yourself and love your body. After all, we only have 1 life, what is the point of wasting it worrying about a few extra pounds? We are born this way, we get what we are given, and there is not much you can do to change it, so dont waste your life comparing yourself to anorexic models or celebrities who live off cigarettes and coffee - you are what you are, you are wonderful just the way you are and nothing can ever change that.
Models are born to be incredibly tall and thin, they are just blessed with good genes, there is no point in comparing yourself to these girls because they are so rare! How often do you actually see a girl walking down the street who could be a model? Yes there might be girls who are pretty, but chances are you will never see a girl who is 5ft 10 or above, with a stunning body and incredible face.....they are almost like alien creatures! They are beautiful, but just because they are beautiful doesnt mean that other shapes and sizes cant be beautiful either. Look at Kylie Minogue, Eva Longoria, Shakira.....small girls can be beautiful too! Look at Jennifer Lopez, Beyonce, Kim Kardashian....girls with massive backsides or large muscular thighs can be beautiful....it is all just down to personal taste.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I know from personal experience that many guys like curvy body shapes! I have never had problems with meeting guys, from the age of 15 to 23 I have always been hit on, asked out...even as embarassing as men shouting out of car windows 'hey gorgeous' at me! I know that I might not look like a model, but I make the most of what body I have got and I look pretty good.
If we all looked like models and no-one were different, the world would be a very boring place! There will be lots of great things about your body, focus on those and enjoy experimenting with fashion. As you get older, you will find it a lot easier to accept your body and just enjoy it the way it is. And most of all - try not to think about it so much and get on with life. There are far more important things in the world than losing a few pounds or whether your bum is a bit too big, if you spend all your time focusing on your body and your insecurities you will never actually get out there and live your life! Enjoy being a teenager, enjoy having a boyfriend, and just make the most of life. Life is too short to be worrying about what you look like all the time!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, turtle escape +, writes (13 May 2011):
You just need to realize that looks are NOT everything. I have this same problem my bf tells me I'm beautiful but I constantly feel ugly and fat (im around 5'6" and about 130 pds so im not a big girl just feel that way). He always tells me I'm not fat and look great, but it only seems to help for a few minutes. We need to remember that not everyone looks like a model. Everyone looks different and thats a good thing. Looks are not everything and whats on the inside is what counts. If your bf loves you for you than there is no reason for you to think you need to improve. I think its good that you are excercising and things because that always helps to make you feel better, at least I know it helps me. And trust me if you start to notice weight loss it'll make you feel so much better!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2011): Instead of putting yourself down, think about the results you'll get once you drop some weight. I think u are a bit too heavy for your height, so do lose some weight, and the best of luck! Also, your bf sounds sincere, tell him to help u and encourage u, because it helps.
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