A
male
age
30-35,
*hillANDlearn
writes:Through out my life I've never scored with a women. I've had them as friends, but never anything more. In my eyes, it was because I've never tried anything, always playing it safe, but now I've become more confident with myself and I'm still a nice guy. Will women be attracted to this new image that I'm hoping on improving?My friends seem to pressure me into finding someone, and I would like to as well, but I can't seem to be that bad boy (the media portrays who gets all the women while playing with their hearts). I'm turning twenty soon, and the only thing that I've gotten was a kiss.-cheers
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male
reader, blackless  +, writes (27 June 2011):
From my experience the looks are extremely important. When I started working on my physique (in a sophisticated way), taking care of my skin, etc. Girls, including very beautiful ones, started to hit on me very often. So I became very confident, started reading a lot, adding intellectual element to my whole presense. Now I do not need to find girls. They find me.
A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (27 April 2011):
 Forget the bad boy thing, I'd rather a guy who will treat me well and make me feel special. In fact, if a guy treats me bad, with the "treat em mean, keep em keen" philosophy, or is just plain selfish and arrogant, I would walk away! You sound like a really genuine guy and you deserve to have a nice, genuine girlfriend. It sounds like you may not be getting anywhere romantically because you are not initiating. It's not always the case but often women wait for the guy to make the first move, I know I have(unless I knew that he liked me already then we both made a move toward each other). So maybe you just need to use some of your new found confidence and ask a girl you like out on a date. If she says yes, brilliant, if not don't take it personally and be proud of yourself for taking a chance, the try again when you meet someone else you like. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Also don't worry about what your friends say, I'm sure they mean well, but don't feel you have to do something if you don't feel that you really want to. It might be the case that a few weeks or months down the line you will meet a lovely girl who will be just right for you and it will just happen, without having to stress about it. This has happened to me before. If you go out looking it can be hard to find someone and when you aren't looking for someone they will come along anyway and you just can't avoid it :)
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (26 April 2011):
 Well I am female, aged 23, and I have never ever dated a 'bad boy' - I am simply not interested!
I am quite simple when it comes to guys, if they are funny, attractive, confident, intelligent and have good manners then I am a happy girl! I am not bothered about this 'good guy bad guy' thing, if a guy is talking to me and I like him then that is all that matters. Girls will quickly lose interest if you turn into a player, if I meet a guy, and one minute he is interested then the next he goes all quiet on me - well I just delete his number and move on! I have no time for idiots who mess girls around, you are either interested or not, simple as that!
Admittedly there are girls out there who like to be treated badly by guys, it is the whole 'treat them mean keep them keen' principle. But that is not ALL girls! In fact, the majority of girls I know have all settled down with nice guys, who never played games and it was all fairly straightforward.
It sounds to me like you just need to take that step from a friend to boyfriend, you just need to be brave and flirt a bit more! I bet most girls who talk to you or spend time with you will have no idea if you like them or not because you dont show it and play it safe, so if you just flirt a bit more and give them some hints that you fancy them you will get a lot further! Buy a girl a drink, ask her out on a date, touch her arm, look into her eyes, compliment her....it is quite easy really!
Girls like to be chased, and they rarely make the first move, so it is hard for you boys and there will be times you get rejected, but if you dont put yourself out there you will never find a girl! So be brave, get flirting and keep on being true to yourself - and I'm sure you will find a lovely girl sooner or later. And keep this in mind - the bad boys always attract the girls with issues, if you keep on being a nice guy then you will get a nice girl!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, Philips +, writes (26 April 2011):
 Ever women will tell you, "Be a nice boy, not a bad boy, coz we like good boys". Its true, they want a nice guy to be by her side when she is at her worst. But she doesn't feel attracted or 'in love' with that nice boy. Most girls, (but not all), are like that.
Women are instictively attracted to certain characteristics of a person, which causes an adrenaline rush when exposed to it. Ironically most of these characteristics are already present in 'bad boys'.
These are:
Power, Masculinity, Indifference, Mysterious, Adventurous, ect.
Just follow the link: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/The_7_Reasons_Why_Women_Love_Bad_Boys_28607.html
So if you are confident, it depends in what sence you are confident. Moreover, don't expect a girl to come and propose you, you are the one that should make the first move (generally). Then you need to konw how to approach a girl, and what you should tell her to get her attention and desire.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 April 2011):
 be yourself I agree with everyone else.
truth is a confident man is sexy... it's not about being a bad boy... know yourself... know what you want... be sure of yourself... that's very attractive.
and 20 is a great age to be finding yourself in this part of your life...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): You don't have to be a bad boy at all. You just have to do some work.
Look it doesn't matter if women find you attractive or not, that's not important because you can make them attracted to you by just taking them.
You want to know why women "like" bad boys? Because these are the guys that sweep them off their feet, these are the guys that are not afraid of making moves and don't let rejection bother them or make them stop trying. You don't have to be an asshole to do those things you just have to be willing to try and have the confidence to know you'll succeed.
So just go ahead and do it. You see a girl you like, you talk to her, if there's interest you ask her out, if the situation feels right you kiss her. That's it. Nothing to it. You won't always succeed but can't possibly fail every single time either. The more you try the better at it you get and eventually you will have the skills necessary to effectively woo almost any woman.
Just make sure you stay true to yourself and remain nice. But just remember there is a limit to being nice, it's far too easy to be too nice and become a doormat.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 April 2011):
 Be yourself. Never try and change for someone. Also the media dont always get it right. Yes they do portray the bad boy image that make woman go weak at the knees. But not all women want this. Some may do some may not. Everyone is attracted to different things. So dont change yourself in to someone that you are not.
Its good that you have gained confidence. Because confidence is a great thing and it will get you noticed more. Dont put pressure on yourself to find a woman though, thats not what life is all about just enjoy yourself. Go out and socialize and flirt a little and see how things go. Goodluck.
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A
male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (26 April 2011):
 Just be yourself. Don't worry about whether you're a nice guy, or a jerk.
I used to do everything I could to play the nice guy, and never got a whiff of any woman in my age group (Older women and really young girls loved it, though!)
It wasn't until i really got comfortable with ME and being myself that i started to attract women. I've discovered i'm a bit of a jerk, really, but i'm generally nice and the ladies seem to like that.
Do women want the nice guy? No i don't think they do. They want someone who can challenge them. Someone who can be nice at the right points, and be a jerk at the right points.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): Yeah women respond to confidence. I personally don't like the cocky bad boys. They're jerks and are never good boyfriends. Stick with being nice and confident. More women will respect you if this is how you approach them.
I'm 20 myself, so I know that women our age are immature and only want some A hole, but thats really not true for all. Women want someone to respect them and when men walk around like jerks its not attractive. Some women like it, but not most.
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