A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay so this is confusing some people may think its absurd others may think its okay, but basically in 2009 i was in year eleven and i was going out with a year eight BUT his birthday was right by the dead line of the year thing, i cant remember what its called but if his birthday was two days different he would of been in year nine, so it would of only been a year different, ive only ever done this once because i really liked him, im now seventeen and in college basically year thirteen and he is in year ten BUT two days different he would of been in year eleven!we was together for a year and broke up for our own reasons and as time went by i thought it was just one of them stupid crushes you have when your really young, but we stayed best mates and we have always spoken daily, a couple of arguments here and their but nothing major, and i know he still likes me, and i know i still like him, but because ive grown up more, i know people will think its wrong and all the rest, and i just dunno what to do because in my mind i think just ignore the people who have their opinions its my own life but then i think no because i have had a lot of crap in my life so far and im only just getting my life were i want it, i dont want any more drama going on, its the age difference that bothers me the most, im always saying to my best mate if only he was one year older:/ !!but i cant change that and i know in a few years time the age will be so little noone will even bother, but were not in the future, i just need some advice, most of this probably didnt even make any sense, its really confusing ive tried to explain it as best as i can, thankyou for reading and some useful advice would be nice:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou guys:)
and yes he is 15:)
bardia - age may only be a number but not when your younger than yourself, it causes a fuss in some cases.
k_c100 - i did say i was in college already so no im not moving away and am not planning, to im on a year course which then follows on to a two year course and then i wanted to stay in my home town doing or teaching dance, so that wont be a matter, we split up yes, but it wasnt a bad break up i decided to end things because i had family problems, and my mum kicked me out so i thought it was best for the both of us i had to much on my plate to worry about anything else and he understood perfectly, to be honest he isnt one of the immature ones, ive been out with people older than him but were so immaturer than him:/
your information did help, and what you have said to do is what i have said all along i am doing, i just dont wanna seem like im using him in away and leading him on.
thankyou:)
&so_very_confused - it is only a two year difference but i see what you mean, some people look at the actual ages not the gap inbetween, its annoying, and haha, the bit about you and your partner did make me laugh
again thankyou:)
thankyou guys you was a great help :)
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 February 2012):
 I don’t get what year 11 vs year 8 means I need ages
And at 17 and 15 you should be friends not dating… because it’s a huge difference but as you age you are right it gets to be less and less of an issue.
Where he is in school is not the mark of whether or not you should be friends… what people think is not the mark of whether or not you should be friends… how the two of you feel about each other and interact and get along is the mark of if you should be friends.
ONE year is a big deal between 14/15/16 but older and older it’s no big deal… I agree stay mates not dates… for now
And take this with you I will be 52 next month… my partner is 38. That means when I was 18 and in College he was FIVE and going into first grade.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (9 February 2012):
 It is hard to answer this question because saying what year you are both in at school means nothing - you are 17 but how old is he? 15? I presume he is around that age anyway.
Well why not stay best mates for a bit longer and then think about getting back together when he turns 16? That way no-one could say anything about it, 2 or 3 years is not a big age difference but I understand that it is worse now than it would be in the future.
But keep this in mind - are you going to University in September? Yes you might like him now, but you may well be moving away, or getting a job - you will grow up so much over the next year and suddenly he will seem very immature. Because you split up in the past, clearly something wasnt working back then, so chances are it wont work again this time around. And with your life about to change massively this year, I think honestly you might be wasting your time on him.
Stay as best mates, see where life takes you - and if you are meant to be together one day you will be. But now isnt the right time for you to be together, so leave it for a while and see what happens.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, bardia +, writes (9 February 2012):
 So_Very_Confused, back me up on this one! -_o I'm 37. The two guys I'm talking with right now (getting to know them) are 24 & 25. My (recent) ex was also 24. Age is only a number. The bottom line question is always: Is he ready to commit? Seriously. There's plenty of other things to cause drama than age...
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