A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm a Christian. I'm not a bible thumper, and I love the gays, and I swear, and you wouldn't know I was a Christian if I never told you.Last summer I got a job teaching kids art at an art school, and there I met a girl my age that was really nice and we became super close friends. We found out we went to the same art school.We got super close and texted each other and hung out and everything.And then like a few months ago, I invited her to come to the mall with me and my other friend (he's a Christian too). While we were there, my Christian friend asked me how church was or something, and then my other friend was suddenly like, "...You two are both Christian?".And I was just like yeah, and she seemed bothered for some reason but tried to act like she was okay with it. I guess she felt uncomfortable 'cause she was always saying oh my god and jesus christ and stuff, but honestly I don't care when people say that, and I never displayed discomfort when she did so I dunno why she was acting weird.And then slowly she stopped texting me and talking to me. Then on days when we had art classes she'd act friendly and sit by me but there was something awkward about her.And then yesterday at art class, my teacher was talking about scientology just to strike up a conversation. I said something about how scientology was pretty weird, and my friend said "YEAH you must think that, 'cause you're Christian". And I was like "well no, I think some religions are pretty cool, like Buddhism". And she said something like "Why are you even Christian, Christianity doesn't make sense" or something. Then she told everyone that Mormonism came from some psycho guy, and I was like "I'm not a Mormon, I'm Protestant", and she was like "SAME THING".And now I know that for some reason she's got a problem with me being Christian.From what I can tell, she's Atheist. But I have tons of Atheist friends and we get along super well. I also have some Muslim friends and Buddhist friends.I don't know what her problem is.Help, is she a bad friend and should I stop hanging out with her? Or could she be uncomfortable for some other reason?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2012): I am a Muslim and I have a friend who is exactly like the one you made. I am not a very religious person but I do have beliefs. My friend is a Chrisitian but he's not very religious. Once my friend found out that I'm a Muslim he had so many questions. I told him and my other friends(who are also Christians) that I'd be happy to answer any questions that they had. Of course I'd preferred to avoid talking about religion as I have been told by my mother that it's a very sensitive issue. After that, he started making jokes about my religion and couldn't understand why we did things differently. He brought up the topic in every single conversation and I did my best to change the subject without being obvious. The jokes never stopped. He tried to relate everything that we talked about to my religion. It was pretty obvious he wanted to know more about my religion so he could come up with new jokes. I laughed when he made these jokes. I didn't find them funny but at the same time I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want to cause any tension in the group. After a few months it was so bad that I felt so uncomfortable talking to him. One time he made a joke, and I didn't laugh and all he said was that what he was saying about my religion was true. Then a few months went by and one of my friends told me that he said that I have the potential to be a terrorist. I was so upset over that comment. I couldn't understand why he'd think that about me. I started to think to myself, is being a different religion a bad thing? I thought that there was something wrong with me. I started thinking about where I could relocate myself. I did my best to forget about that comment because 1) I wasn't supposed to know he said that and 2) I had exams coming up which were very important for my future and I wasn't going to let him ruin that. Then after the exams he made another joke that made absolutely no sense and I lost it. I told him the joke was stupid and that he was an idiot. Apparently, he got offended by the whole thing as if I had done something wrong. He turned the other way and refused to talk to me. Later that day, he texted me to apologize saying he doesn't think before he speaks and that he asks me questions about my religion because he's genuinely interested in learning about it. I refused to accept his apology and told him I couldn't easily forget about this whole thing. I mean, you'd have to think real hard to come up with those jokes. I told him those jokes were very offensive to me and my family who don't even know him and that I couldn't believe I let him made those jokes in the first place. He has since then never come near me. I found out a couple of days later from someone that he doesn't want to apologize to my face because he feels that he has done nothing wrong and that I'm overreacting. That was when I realized that we were never really friends. How can someone who has hurt you so deeply and can't even apologize to your face be your friend? It means that they never cared about you in the first place and that they are not worth your time. So to answer your question she is a really bad friend and you should stop hanging out with her. Don't let this go on for as long as I did. If she can't accept you for who you are then she's not your friend. You deserve to be happy and have friends that are accepting.I have to say I am sooo much happier now that he's out of my life.
A
female
reader, shrodingerscat  +, writes (15 February 2012):
 You should tell her that the hateful bigotry she's displaying is one of the reasons people like her claim to hate some Christians. She's no better than them, hating people because of their beliefs. It's the exact same hate, just packaged differently. Open her eyes to her bigotry. Some people don't even know they're bigots until someone's brave enough to speak out about it.
Perhaps you'd be better off without a bigot in your social circle. It may hurt to lose a "friend", but real friends that will be GOOD FRIENDS won't judge you as a bad person because of your religion.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2012): I agree that you should discuss it more with her at some point and find out why she feels this way, maybe she had some bad experiences in the past. She is young and maybe talking with you and seeing that you're ok will help her to become more tolerant of everyone. Good luck.
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (14 February 2012):
 Maybe it's she believes in Scientology, or maybe she's a pagan witch and is resentful about how Christians treated her community. Maybe she's was abused by a Christian priest. Who knows. It's not because she's an atheist though, you don't even know if she's an atheist. She seems to have a problem, with either you or your religion. We could guess all day without finding out what the problem is. Like most times in this situation, you really need to go and talk to her.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (14 February 2012):
 I'm an atheist, but I would never react like that to my religious friends just as I would not expect them to react like that to me. One of my friends is of the "bible thumper" type and we simply agree to never talk about religion and we get along just fine. I only get angry if she tries to convert me or says something narrow minded about another group of people because of her religion. Your "friend" is being a jerk. She is making no effort to care about who you are as a person, she's just brushed you into a box with all her negative christian stereotypes. She's being hateful simply for the purpose of being hateful.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2012): She's very immature, hateful, and narrow minded in her Atheism. Just like any 'Christian' can be as well. Its the INDIVIDUALs INTERPRETATION that ruins it for the collective of any Order/Institute/Group.I'm a Christian and was Raised Mormon and I read every day on my belief, science articles- adore anything in astronomy and astro physics. Such things go hand hand in hand- yes they do, I practice and study my Religion from age 15 and I actually DO KNOW what I talk about. ;)Yet to others of Faiths and Atheism, due to their own way of thinking- I have to be one or the other. Nope. One cannot be without the other in my Universe.I have a close friend that is Athiest and what we have come to know about one another, we RESPECT one another and do not LABEL one another or RESTRICT or CONDEMN the other for what wthey believe.We honour and cherish one another as we are connected through our HUMANITY.Its the hate, the narrow of mind that give any group a 'bad reputation'.You are entitled to your Belief and I am shocked your Teacher ALLOWED for such a topic as in my Teens Classrooms- such conversations get SHUT DOWN. We don't tolerate HATE and BULLYING and that was a taunt and highly UNEDUCATED response from that girl.To the educated, such people, look ridiculous.I say approach the teacher and tell him/her that you have hurt feelings and felt attacked- you were, and that was unacceptable. What are they willing to do to help you out as that was bullying publically and they allowed it to occur.I'd tell her she is entitled to her belief but she should not use her personal opinion to shame another or attack them for theirs and she can apologize. She wont. She's hateful and therefore, she's right and everyone else is wrong.THEN, keep your distance. If she can't be friendly and accountable and apologize that she attacked you and hurt you but STILL expects you to kiss her ass?...IGNORE.Its the attitude and mindset you rebel against, not her beliefs.
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female
reader, naley  +, writes (14 February 2012):
 Hey there,
Any friend should be happy to respect your beliefs. Just as you said you're not a 'bible thumper' - you don't throw it in her face and try and get her to follow Christianity. Unfortunately I think you will need to distance yourself from her. She may have issues from a bad experience previously, but she should be wise enough not to judge you individually on other experiences that have nothing to do with you. You respect others' beliefs, and she should kindly respect yours.
Try not to let her worry you. You don't deserve how she's speaking to you. All the best :)
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (14 February 2012):
 She simply sounds like an ignorant person who cannot be bothered to take time to understand her friend's beliefs - so yes she is a bad friend!
I would stop hanging out with her if I were you, she sounds like more hassle than its worth. You dont have to share the same religious beliefs to be friends, and if she has a problem with it well its her problem not yours. Dont waste time with ignorant rude people like her, she simply is not worth the time.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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