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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Is it bad if he doesn't get jealous?
Q. My boyfriend of 10 months never gets jealous, and I don't understand why. I ask him this everynow and then but I try not to get into it because i would rather him be un-jealous like then super crazy jealous. We have a very close relationship so I ...
A. 12 March 2012: No it is not bad at all, as you said it is better that he doesnt get jealous compared to a crazy jealous controlling boyfriend!
This is just part of his personality, he is not a jealous person and that is fine - you should love him for who he i... (read in full...)
I asked him to marry me on February 29th, but he keeps changing his mind about buying the ring!
Q. i have a problem that some will think im stupid on. I asked my man to marry me on feb 29th and he said yes. we talked about rings and i showed him the ring that i wanted which wasnt alot 150 pounds. He said no problem he would get it for when we go ...
A. 9 March 2012: Gosh your friends are harsh, you cannot dump a man over something like this! No wonder relationships today dont last when people will bail out over the slighest thing.
Go on holiday, see what happens. Stop talking about marriage and the ring - l... (read in full...)
Why else would he still have his profile up on the dating site if not to keep his options open?
Q. Hi, I met a really lovely 28 year old man online on a dating website in December 2011. Will get on brilliantly, speak daily, his family and friends know about me and we have a holiday planned, were not intimate yet but he told me he thinks of me ...
A. 9 March 2012: There is a chance if you are using certain sites that he has paid (for example) for 6 months up front, and he has not yet finished those 6 months so he still has the paid subscription.
But you have your profile up too, you just dont talk about it... (read in full...)
Could I get pregnant on the last day of my period?
Q. Hi, I'm sixteen years old. Last month, it was the very last day of my period and there was hardly any blood but I was still spotting and I gave my boyfriend oral sex. He came in my mouth and I swallowed it and continued to suck him off. He pulled ...
A. 9 March 2012: You can get pregnant any day of the month, regardless of whether you are on your period or not. And as you know, there are sperm in precum so again this could mean you are pregnant.
Yes your chances might be lower during your period, but there is... (read in full...)
She's been dating him and me for almost 4 years, now she says she wants me. Is she lying?
Q. I'm so confused right know I've been sorta dating this girl now for almost four years now and I am madly in love with her but she also has a boyfriend of three years. And she was always sleeping around with other guys and then lieing to me about it ...
A. 9 March 2012: Look - she has NEVER been yours, she has a boyfriend and you are just her bit on the side. She is cheating on her boyfriend with you, you are one part of an affair, NOT a relationship. So you have never left her or taken her back, because she is not ... (read in full...)
What is he really saying when a guy says he's not ready to be in a relationship?
Q. There's this guy and I know for sure he likes me but he says he's not ready to be in a serious relationship because he broke up with his girlfriend 2 months ago. He said that I'm really beautiful and he's given a lot of thought about us. What d...
A. 9 March 2012: Cindycares is spot on - "I'm not ready to be in a relationship" means he is not ready for a relationship with you, because as you said yourself - he is just not that into you.
If the right girl came along at the right time, he would get into a r... (read in full...)
I wish my boyfriend wasn't so close with his parents, its getting on my nerves now!
Q. My boyfriend and I met at college and graduated together a year ago (we've been together 3 years). I had to move 4 hours away from my hometown when I went to college, whereas my boyfriend still lives at home with his parents (only child), an...
A. 7 March 2012: Well this will be mostly because he is an only child - my boyfriend is an only child too, he is 28 and only moved out about a year ago! He speaks to his mum daily, they text all day and speak on the phone every night....so I kind of understand how ... (read in full...)
I'm losing my confidence as my bf keeps saying I dress like a slag!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. I am 18 years old and he is more than 10 years older than me. A massive problem has arised which is my apparent "dress sense". I am constantly called a slag and a attention seeker for wearing what I see ...
A. 7 March 2012: You are not in the wrong at all - he has no right to call you that awful name and if he loved you or respected you at all he would never dream of saying that to you.
You simply want to dress like a normal 18 year old, it isnt like you are want... (read in full...)
My boyfriend helps himself to the food in my home and I don't like it!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for six months. I see him at weekends and he stays at my house. When we go out he pays for meals. I am also generous. However, he gets up in the night or early morning and helps himself to food in my house. This really ...
A. 6 March 2012: If he was doing this in the first month or so then yes it would be a bit weird and wrong. But you have been together for 6 months now, do you really still see him as a guest in your house?
I have been with my boyfriend 5 months and we see each oth... (read in full...)
My friends girlfriend wants to end their relationship because he used to watch porn
Q. So I have this friend (yes folks, it actually is a friend) who's going through something that neither of us can seem to really get our heads around. His girlfriend of over a year sent him a random text yesterday, immediately stating that she ...
A. 6 March 2012: Yes she is being very unfair - but then again some people cannot let go of a person's past and it makes them feel insecure because of it. Look up retroactive jealousy on this site and you will see! Mostly it is men who struggle with a woman's sexual ... (read in full...)
Does anyone have experience with moving away for work?
Q. I'd love to work away somewhere, either in another part of the UK, or abroad, but i feel scared about doing it, as i have never lived away from home before. Should i go for it, or should i just try to find a job close to home since i am nervous ...
A. 6 March 2012: Well it depends what you want from life really. Are you the sort of person that has to see their family very frequently (i.e. at least weekly) and has lots of friends in your home town? Or are you happy to only see your family once a month, and are ... (read in full...)
Could a girl ever accept my love of supermodels?
Q. Ok, I like supermodels and always have. Not the big-boobed, blonde bimbos in men's magazines but the high fashion models. When magazines like Vogue or Photo have their "Top Models" issue, I get it. If there's an interview with a model I like, I'll ...
A. 6 March 2012: It depends what your 'love' of supermodels involves. If you like reading more about their lives, are interested in the world of modelling and simply appreciate them for being beautiful people - and can equally appreciate a handsome man - then yes ... (read in full...)
What am I missing here?
Q. I have a family picnic outing with my girlfriend and her family and also a child (11 yo) from a family friend. I was playing catch me with the same child, and while we were playing she said you are slow and fat and you can't catch me. I didn...
A. 6 March 2012: Calling an 11 year old girl fat, even as a joke is wrong. Regardless of who the child's parent is, and who is present at the time - you should not have said it.
Young girls have very fragile self esteem and even though it is a joke because ... (read in full...)
Can anybody read this man's mind?
Q. I was going out with my partner for a year and a half. He always travelled with work and we always managed to make things work. But after xmas he said he wasn't sure if he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. When I challeneged him and said ...
A. 6 March 2012: He has made it very clear what is going on in his head - he knows breaking up is for the best but misses the closeness, hence why he is still contacting you.
There is no other reason - he knows finishing was the right thing to do but he is lonel... (read in full...)
What does it mean when he says he wants to want me instead of having me?
Q. Ok...I have come out of a 6 year relationship about 5 months ago and have recently met an amazing guy, been seeing him for about 2 months now. I really think i am falling for him. But he said to me were take things slow? He said instead of rushing ...
A. 6 March 2012: Basically it means he wants to feel that desire for you, when you really 'want' someone rather than rushing into it and sleeping with you right away.
This relationship has already gone far too fast, there is no way after 2 months he should b... (read in full...)
I didn't even want relationships with them, so why am I hurt when they moved on?
Q. I have no ability when scene setting to filter out information you don't need. I appologise in advance and if you didn't want to read a mini essay I understand if you turn away now! You have been warned!... What was my 2nd relationship end...
A. 1 March 2012: It is always painful being rejected, even if you in your head had already rejected them! Deep down we all want to have people fancy us, and when we find out someone likes us we feel happy and it gives the self-esteem a boost. So when that person ... (read in full...)
He keeps texting me but then standing me up! Why wont he leave me alone?
Q. Why is he doing this? why won't he leave me alone? ? There's this guy that I use to like a lot. We use to work together (not anymore) he'd stare at me all the time and only flirted with me and ignored all the other girls so I thought he was i...
A. 1 March 2012: Maybe because you have not told him to leave you alone? He obviously likes playing games, and because you reply every now and then he thinks he still has his claws into you, so he knows he can keep playing these games.
If you send him a text say... (read in full...)
B/f cums without any physical contact
Q. My boyfriend not only is getting hard when just makingout, but he is actually cumming with no physical contact. he has no experience with girls besides kissing. he did have a surgery on his on testi because it was in him so they moved it back out ...
A. 1 March 2012: Its not because of his operation. It is because he is clearly too excited around you and doesnt even need to be touched to cum! The lack of experience and his age will be a big part of it as well (I presume he is a similar age to you).
In a ... (read in full...)
My b/f comments on his ex's facebook "I miss you and feel lonely without you"
Q. k so.. my boyfriend always talks to me like he is totally in love with me, always tells me he loves me, never wants to leave me, we aren't to far in the relationship and he already wants to engage to me, already wants kids with me [even though he ...
A. 1 March 2012: Wait a minute, so he is the sort of man that dumps his pregnant girlfriend and gets with another girl before the child is even born? He is a drinker? And he is going behind your back talking to his ex in an inappropriate manner?
This guy couldnt ... (read in full...)
He became distant with me once he got engaged, how do I deal with being so upset over our lost friendship?
Q. To be brief, a couple of years after my marriage, I met him 3 years ago. I instantly felt a strange a bonding and we began to talk. Don't make conclusions there! My marriage is happy, I am truthful and, he is now married happily too! I knew I r...
A. 29 February 2012: The female anonymous is right - he might have been told by his new wife that she was not comfortable with your friendship, hence why he has become more aloof.
You cannot love 2 men at the same time, if you are truly committed to your husband ... (read in full...)
Are we in a good position to be making these plans for our marriage in the future?
Q. Hi so really this a question to get people's opinion. here's the back history of me and my boyfriend first so you know where I'm coming from :-) I've been going out with this boy now for 4years he's 19 (20 in september) and I'm 18 (19 in April) we...
A. 28 February 2012: I think if you look at the number of couples that are still together today who married when they were young, they will be mostly 50+. This is because marriage meant a lot more back then, people took their vows seriously and getting married was about ... (read in full...)
Are we in a good position to be making these plans for our marriage in the future?
Q. Hi so really this a question to get people's opinion. here's the back history of me and my boyfriend first so you know where I'm coming from :-) I've been going out with this boy now for 4years he's 19 (20 in september) and I'm 18 (19 in April) we...
A. 27 February 2012: I'm not sure what you mean by the percentage of people who married at 19/20 who are still together now? Are you asking what is the percentage? In which case the answer is very low!! If you research divorce rates online you will see that the divoce ... (read in full...)
Is being able to cook a turn on?
Q. I work as a cook in a kitchen for the last 3 years and recently (like the last year) my work load has gotten larger because I went through a semi-promotion if you will. Because of the work load I've lost 40lbs. The work load entails a lot more ...
A. 27 February 2012: Men are pretty shallow, so it will be the weight loss! 40lbs is a lot to lose so I'm sure you will look very different, hence why you are getting more attention.
But being able to cook is a great thing too - an attractive woman who can cook is ... (read in full...)
Are we in a good position to be making these plans for our marriage in the future?
Q. Hi so really this a question to get people's opinion. here's the back history of me and my boyfriend first so you know where I'm coming from :-) I've been going out with this boy now for 4years he's 19 (20 in september) and I'm 18 (19 in April) we...
A. 27 February 2012: Cindycares is spot on - the fact that you care what your families think so much and are jealous of his brother's relationship smacks of immaturity.
At the end of the day if you are happy together and know you will have a future together, who care... (read in full...)
I'm upset with her actions but I love her so much
Q. my girlfriend and I have been dating for over seven months, and the majority of it has been long distance. Over the summer i fell in love with her and i knew that i wanted to be with her in college. While at college she went out with people like ...
A. 27 February 2012: Yes it is messed up! At the end of the day, if she really loved you she would never message another guy saying she wanted to hook up with him, let alone make out with him the day after you broke up! She doesnt love you, respect you or care about you ... (read in full...)
I can't get over her past. it's too extreme for me to handle. But I love her so much.
Q. Hi everyone. I've been having some difficulties in my relationship with my girlfriend. I've been seeing a therapist, looking up similar stories, and reading books to understand her. The issue is all about her past, and it stresses me out t...
A. 27 February 2012: You do understand why she has had this past, you have said it many times in your post. And in these 2 sentences she (and you) have summed it up perfectly):
"She said she just wanted to feel loved, and sex seemed to be the best way. She said she... (read in full...)
How can I become a father-like figure to my girlfriend?
Q. I have a girlfriend and all would be fine, but more and more she keeps hinting to me that she wants me to be a father-like figure. It reached a stage when she gets irritated if I try to be cute with her (e.g. calling her cute names or trying to be ...
A. 27 February 2012: If she wants you to be a father figure then she has some serious psychological issues and need help. You are her romantic partner, not her father and in no way should you ever come close to being a father figure.
I guess some fatherly 'qualiti... (read in full...)
Is it fine to casually date two women before choosing whom I want to be with? Does that make me a player?
Q. After a tough break up last year, I've been only getting out to start dating now. I met one lady at start of February, I've met her 4 other times now, even cooked her breakfast. I met another girl two weeks ago, that wouldn't work out. I met another ...
A. 27 February 2012: No it is not bad at all, there is no reason not to date a few girls if you like them - because you need to get to know them better before you make a decision to settle down with one of them. Just be careful not to end up sleeping with more than one ... (read in full...)
Should I take my ex back if she ever wants to come back?
Q. So me and my ex were together for 8 wonderful years. We started dating at 14 and ended at 22. We are also eachothers first real relationship and first sex partners. I always had my group of friends but she only ever wanted to be with me. She would ...
A. 24 February 2012: No, never take her back. And stop thinking she will come back - she left you so many times for him chances are she never will.
You are looking at this relationship through rose tinted glasses, in your eyes it was wonderful but the reality ... (read in full...)
Why did she break up with me? Was it me?
Q. Im a 16 and Febuary has been terrible. My team lost the superbowl, I got a ticket, I am jobless, my grades are dropping, drinking is becoming a part of my life, and on top of all that my girlfriend just dumped me. Her name's Caitlyn. Ive always ...
A. 24 February 2012: My initial thought is no, it is not you because you tried your best to be a great boyfriend but clearly she has problems of her own that she needs to deal with.
However you say you have drink problems, no job and poor grades at school - that cou... (read in full...)
What is the most romantic way to win over an ex who is dating someone else?
Q. 5 days ago I dumped my girlfriend that I have had for 6 months. I wanted to be single and I honestly think about my ex a lot. I love her still but she is with another man. It stinks, to say the least. So after the break up I see my ex's tumblr f...
A. 24 February 2012: Look, I honestly dont think either of you are right for each other and this relationship is not going to work.
Why did you want to be single? Why do you now want her back? What changed in 5 days? Surely you still want to be single, that feeling ... (read in full...)
I don't want to bring this up as it will start another fight, but the affection and romance has gone from our relationship!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. I am 24, he is 27. We live together. In the beginning (first year and 4 months), he was always extremely lovey dovey. Always sending cute texts every day, always telling me how much he loves me, etc ...
A. 24 February 2012: We are not inside his head, therefore no outside source can explain his behaviour for you - that is where communication comes in. We can speculate for you, there could be hundreds of reasons why his behaviour has changed - but at the end of the day ... (read in full...)
Sex for the first time, I've never even fingered myself. What should I expect?
Q. i'm 19 years old and me and my boyfriend have been together for ten months. I am a virgin and he is not and we are talking about having sex this weekend and i've never fingered myself or anything. What is the pain like? What should I expect?...
A. 23 February 2012: As the anonymous poster said, you cannot predict what will happen therefore we cannot tell you what to expect.
For some girls there is no pain at all, for others it is agony. For some there is blood, for some there is no blood at all.
The bes... (read in full...)
Ex-boyfriend or ex-friend? What should I do?
Q. My ex boyfriend from two years ago used to be my best friend. All through my last relationship with someone else he was always there for me, we were inseperable and he was my best friend. After me and my last ex boyfriend broke up, me and the ...
A. 23 February 2012: It sounds like he was very hurt you went out with someone else (hence the songs) and perhaps he slept with you out of revenge, to get back at you for hurting him. So that could explain why all of this has happened.
However it does seem very cle... (read in full...)
Should I move back home or stay with my boyfriend?
Q. Hey :) I moved away from home 4.5 years ago to come to uni. Although i finished uni in 2010, I ended up staying here. I've been with my boyfriend for about a year but we dont live together. I live with a friend, but my boyfriend and I are trying to ...
A. 23 February 2012: Are there plenty of good jobs where your parents are? If so - I suggest you move back home.
I was in a similar situation a few years ago, when I finished uni I chose to stay with my boyfriend and we moved in together, rather than me moving b... (read in full...)
I wish my B/f saw me as one of those ideal girls in dude movies with "big boobs/skinny waist/big butt/slim thighs", instead of the cute girl next door
Q. I always feel so insecure about my body, it's so stupid... I even get really nervous and anxious when watching movies with my boyfriend, especially the type of "dude" movies where lots of perfect boobs are shown. I never say anything in front of ...
A. 23 February 2012: First things first - those women are not perfect, they are surgically enhanced and airbrushed to perfection. And another thing - 'perfection' is very subjective and differs by each person you speak to. Look at Megan Fox or Angelina Jolie, they are ... (read in full...)
I don't want to bring this up as it will start another fight, but the affection and romance has gone from our relationship!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. I am 24, he is 27. We live together. In the beginning (first year and 4 months), he was always extremely lovey dovey. Always sending cute texts every day, always telling me how much he loves me, etc ...
A. 23 February 2012: If you cannot have a conversation with your partner about something that is troubling you through fear of it starting a fight - then you have MAJOR communication problems and this relationship will never work.
Without communication you dont hav... (read in full...)
I want to lose weight the right way...any suggestions?
Q. Hi Everyone, I am 5 4 and 34 years old. I am a bit overweight for my height and frame. I've recently visited the doctor and he's definitely said that I need to lose at least 40 pounds in order to be at my ideal weight. I am almost 180lbs at...
A. 22 February 2012: Losing weight is far more simple than people make out, as long as you remember to exercise more and eat less then you will see results.
Aim for a weight loss of 1-2lbs per week (your first week or 2 might be a little more), as losing weight r... (read in full...)
He took his ex gf girlfriend back and will not speak to me anymore. What should I do?
Q. I'm so hurt right now. Im new here and was looking for some advice and someone to make me feel a little better too. Well ok so I was ''talking'' to this guy for about 3 months we wasn't serious but I like him so much. Well today I learned he took an ...
A. 22 February 2012: Why do you want to stay friends? Please answer that question honestly.
My bet is that you want to stay friends in case it doesnt work out with the ex he is now with, so when they break up you can get him back. And if that is what you are trying t... (read in full...)
After only 2 months my girlfriend cheated on me. Do I end things?
Q. So I found out yesterday that my girlfriend cheated on me! I took her virginity but still she slept with another guy only 2 months after I took it. I know she was a virgin because she's inexperienced and she bleed the first time we had sex. Also, it ...
A. 22 February 2012: If she has cheated already then it isnt going to work I'm afraid. You should still be in the 'honeymoon' phase where you are all loved up and happy, you shouldnt even be looking at anyone else let alone sleeping with someone else!
She has broken y... (read in full...)
Should I break up with him on his birthday?
Q. Should I break up with my boyfriend? A little background on me: I'm 16. I dated a really sweet guy for a year, then we broke up, I started dating my current boyfriend, who is also a very sweet guy. We've been dating for 10 months now. The...
A. 22 February 2012: Break up with him, but either do it right away or after his birthday. NOT on the actual day itself, that would be very harsh.
There is no point in trying to keep things going when you clearly dont want to, you have said you are too differen... (read in full...)
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